Customer Reviews

Reading Your Male: An Invitation to Understand and Influence Your Man's Sexuality

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I loved this book. I'm a woman who just got married later in life for the first time...I'm 42. My mother has passed away and I have NO ONE to talk to about several of these issues. The Bible does instruct the older women to educate the younger ones. I feel that I've missed out on a lot of that - this book helps give me an understanding that I didn't have before.

I so appreciated her guidelines. In our society where we have no guidelines, this book helps give us some. Of course she paints men with a broad brush and I totally get that not all men are like that. But it does give me tools in my toolbox to help understand my new husband.

And to the men who don't like this book - this book isn't for you anyway!

This is a great book for WOMEN who need basic understanding in the area of men's sexuality, pornography and the marriage relationship.

I would give this to every young Christian couple, every couple in counseling, and every believer considering marriage. This is a rare attempt at trying to understand male sexuality by woman - without the vitriol or feminist assumptions of the current culture.

The struggle Christian men have with sexuality and sexual purity is very difficult. Paul commands us to have "NO sexual impurity among us." Men fight daily, perhaps even hourly or minute-by-minute, with thoughts, visual stimulation and a cultural onslaught of pornographic and sexually charged influences. Our wives can help us with our struggle or become part of the problem. Mrs. Farrar has written a book to help woman of all ages understand men better and be our helpmates in this very critical area.

"Men are from earth and woman are from earth" points us back to the truth that we are all humans, actually designed to get along and enhance each others lives. This book is a genuine attempt to better the relationship between a wife and her husband through understanding male sexuality - a core component of the male psyche.

This book has terrible flaws as other reviewers point out. The book places far too much emphasis on the problem, overwhelms the reader with a verbose treatise on pornography, and often looses its way. The author thinks that young virgin male's discussions about sex are profound - revealing her own initial ignorance on the subject. However that is the genius - most woman, especially Christian woman are incredibility naïve about male sexuality.

Please don't be influenced by the negative reviews which are more about their aversion to Christianity and sexual purity than this book. Mrs. Farrar NEVER advocates submission or stereotyped male/female roles. Mrs. Farrar is not perfect, her opinions aren't always correct (are anyone's?). However she gets it right far more often than wrong. The book doesn't promote going back to Mrs. Clever of the 50's or any such nonsense.

There are some truths, truths that have been historically accurate for thousands of years. Unfortunately such truths conflict with modern thinking, modern values and Mrs. Farrar has had the temerity to point out some of these aberrant ideas. Men have been feminized, that is looking at the world "through the eyes of woman." Masculinity is thought of in terms of Homer Simpson, instead of chivalry, duty, and stewardship.

Want to be a better spouse? Read this book. Want to be part of the solution for a struggling partner with sexual addiction or tests? Read this book. Want some information and the tools to turn back the assault on the entire body of Christ (sexual sin)? Read this book. Ignore the bad reviews; to them a sexually pure, sexually supportive heterosexual married relationship is outdated. To them restricting sex to marriage - heterosexual marriage - is puritanical.. I hope to you, a believer, it isn't.

The author of this book obviously has a great deal of life-experience and a willingness to learn from those around her. She is also a very educated woman, but her perspective is limited. Mrs. Farrar makes a few good points, but takes a long time getting to them. She cites some interesting facts and research, but little of it is actually pertinent to the subject she is dealing with. Most is relevent to a platform on which she makes a parallel case to the subject. It would have been better to print more research of direct correlation to the subject at hand.
She makes some good suggestions about helping men to be "men" and delineates some God-given differences in male and female behavior and how to address those differences in raising children. She makes an excellent point about the need to raise boys to be men, rather than "feminizing" them and teaching them to be more like women. That particular chapter was fascinating. The one factor that I found repeatedly annoying was that few of her points were based on fact, research or scripture, but the majority of it was based upon converstations with people in her immediate circle of influence and her own husband and sons. Many young women reading this books would not be able to related to Mrs. Farrar because of some generational differences in sexual perspective.
Some have said that she discouraged women from "initiating" because it was the "man's role" to do so. This is not accurate. She makes a very good case that the man is God-wired to be more sexually driven and that he should be the primary initator in most cases, but she does not state that a woman should never initiate. Some other Christian authors on the same subject have stated differently, that a woman taking the initiative is an excellent way to make a husband feel that the interest is mutual rather than tolerated. However, I would add to this that lighting candles or wearing an intriguing piece of lingerie would communicate interest rather clearly. Overall, she does make a few good points, but I would not recommend this as a first read on Christian sexuality. There are many better books out there that draw more heavily on fact than experience and relate a little more closely to younger readers. That said, I hope that Mrs. Farrar takes another chance as an author because she obviously has potential.

this book help me realize that there are two sides and that you need to work together and come to an agreement on things with your spouse and not do things your way only.

When I saw the title of this book, I thought, "Oh wow, a book that will explain male sexuality to me." Well, I must say that I was rather disappointed.

The book talks about the power of women in men's lives, the power of pornography in men's lives, accountability and more. It talks around men's sexuality, and what a Christian woman should do in interacting with Christian men, but it never really does dive into male sexuality. As such, while it may be an invitation to understand man's sexuality, it isn't a help in understanding it.

What the book is is a book for Christian women in dealing with Christian men. I would say that the book hits its target, and in that respect it isn't a bad book. But, as for me, I felt rather misled by the title and disappointed with the book.

(Review of Reading Your Male by Mary Farrar)

If you've read any Christian books on the differences between male and female, you'll find precious little to interest you in this one. I was disappointed that the author left out the effects of contraception on marriage and did not include any of the wonderful writings of John Paul II on human sexuality. A shame, really, because there is much good to be found in them... they've revolutionized my own marriage.

Overall, the book is decent. I read the first few chapters and skimmed through the rest. As I stated, little here that I haven't seen before.

This book held true to the way in which it was marketed and that speaks volumes in todays time of over rated books and too much hype that does not hold up to the advertisements.

Reading Your Male is a true guide to understanding the male and getting a true understanding. The author provides such research and information that the male is made transparent. This transparency equips women to better understand men, become better mothers to males, become better wives, better friends and better in general relationships with men.

Section titles are as follows: The Power of a Woman Who Reads Her Male, Reading The Enemy's Tactics, Reading Your Man's Mind, From Reading To Connecting. The author provides many biblical scriptures to support information. The author tackles some tough areas in a scholarly manner that I enjoyed.

Now if you want to read a more secular book to compare routes taken, but some of the same outcomes... you may want to team this book with Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

Recommendation: BUY IT and have some detailed discussions with males and females afterwards.

I picked this book up out of pure curiosity. Being male and a Christian (not the devoted, bible study genre, more of the believe in God, do the right thing sort), I was curios to see just what an educated woman might think was going on inside a man's head. As I read through the book with an eye toward the review, I had to remind myself repeatedly that I should avoid getting up on my soapbox to rant about the various aspects of the book that I found an affront to the male sentiment. So, let's get on to the book and its message.

The author is not totally off base with her presentation of men (the little crack about them being ADD (attention deficit disorder) people on the first page, was not the way to set the stage for the book, in my opinion). We do indeed think about sex a lot; we are visual oriented, but you would need to be pretty naive to have missed that. Access to porn and pseudo porn is easier than it ever has been in the past; again, tell me something I do not know. That about covers the first two sections of the book, in section III, the author manages some real insight that would be useful for women to understand. Section IV is essentially the call to action about how women can 'fix' us men.

The author nostalgically pines for the 'manly' man of yester-year, derides the more feminine side of the 'modern,' post feminist male and yet, still counsels women on how to get their men to open up their softer side when together. I have to wonder how we can achieve that perfect dichotomy of 'manliness' to the whole outer world and softer feminine nature with our spouses that most women say they want (perhaps its that ADD setting in that has me so confused). The author counsels for communication and belittles John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (a wonderful book aimed at developing lines of communication between men and women).

All of that said, there are some valid messages in section III, you just have to read past the excessive use of scriptural quotes (if scripture citations were salt, reading this book would give you pronounced hypertension), and communicate with your significant other to verify the points. Perhaps, when you get down to it, the critical message of the book can be summed up in one line: If women and men are to coexist successfully in a loving relationship that satisfies the needs of both parties, they must learn to communicate in a way that fosters partnership and meets the needs of each.

In honest assessment, I would pass on this book in favor of the one by John Gray cited above and add his other book, Mars and Venus in the Bedroom for a good start, and consider reading them as a couple (even out load to each other) to help foster better communication and discussion.
P-)

Disclaimer: you probably won't like this book if a) you're not a conservative leaning Jew or Christian, or b) if you're an anti-essentialist feminist.

Farrar seeks to provide here an essentialist's perspective on male sexuality. Essetialism in this case means that men have particular qualities that make them essentially male (with the same being true of women, respectively). In my understanding, much modern feminist thought would have a big problem with that.

Farrar also writes from a conservative Christian vantage point after having studied sexuality for a number of years. She does seem to endorse a complimentarian perspective on male and female roles in family and church life which I would personally take issue with. However, I don't think that this labels her as an "extremist" (as some have tagged this book). In fact, though I differ in how I interpret the Bible regarding male/female leadership in family and church, I find Farrar's arguments respectful and affirming of the dignity of women.

As for the actual advice on sexuality, as a male I celebrate greater understanding between spouses that thinkers like Farrar can provide. In my experience as a husband and pastor, I regularly encounter couples who seem to struggle for a sense of understanding between the sexes. For that greater understanding, this book is worth checking out.

I'd like to begin by pointing out that this is a Christian book. (I didn't find that immediately obvious from the book's title, etc.) This, of course, will be either a pro or a con, depending on the reader's own worldview. I suspect that the majority of the book will simply not make sense to a reader who is not coming from this perspective. With that said, I believe it is a good read for Christian wives.

Sexuality is a topic often overlooked by the church today. It's treated as taboo, which means that any information we get on the subject tends to come from a worldly perspective. As a result, men struggle, women struggle with the fact that men struggle, and no one seems to know what to do about it. This book offers what I believe to be a very sound solution, overall.

If you are a man who struggles with sexual sin or temptation and wants to be understood, give your wife this book. If you're a wife who wants to stand beside her man in his fight, read this book (and understand that it is, more than likely, not personal! - it's just a guy thing).

The general structure of the book was not what I expected and was, in my opinion, a little confusing (hence the four stars). But the overall message of the book was one I believe is desperately needed among Christian wives today.