Over the past three decades, skyrocketing numbers of women have chosen to start their families in their late thirties and early forties. In 2005, ten times as many women had their first child between the ages of 35 and 39 as in 1975, and thirteen times as many had their first between 40 and 44. Women now have the option to define for themselves when they’re ready for family, rather than sticking to a schedule set by social convention. As a society, however, we have yet to come to terms with the phenomenon of later motherhood, and women who decide it makes sense for them to delay pregnancy often find themselves confronted with alarmist warnings about the dangers of waiting too long.In Ready, Elizabeth Gregory tracks the burgeoning trend of new later motherhood and demonstrates that for many women today, waiting for family works best. She provides compelling evidence of the benefits of having children later--by birth or by adoption. Gregory reveals that large numbers of women succeed in having children between 35 and 44 by the usual means (one in seven kids born today has a mom in that age range), and that many of those who don’t succeed nonetheless find alternate routes to happy families via egg donation or adoption. And they’re glad they waited. Without ignoring the complexities that older women may face in their quest to have children, Gregory reveals the many advantages of waiting: Stronger family focus: Having achieved many of their personal and career goals, new later moms feel ready to focus on family rather than trying to juggle priorities More financial power: New later moms have established careers and make higher salaries Greater self-confidence: New later moms have more career experience, and their management skills translate directly into managing a household and advocating for their children More stable single-parenting: New later moms who are single have more resources High marriage rate: On average, 85 percent of new later moms are married, lending stability to the family structure Longer lives: Evidence indicates that new later moms actually live longer than moms who start their families earlier Based on in-depth interviews with more than 100 new later moms and extensive collateral research, Ready shatters the myths surrounding later motherhood. Drawing on both the statistical evidence and the voices of the new later mothers themselves, Gregory delivers surprising and welcome news that will revolutionize the way we think about motherhood.
Ready: Why Women Are Embracing the New Later Motherhood
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
In this upbeat, sometimes self-congratulatory book, University of Houston professor Gregory looks at the benefits of waiting until later in life to have children. Recent front-page studies citing a rise in infertility have instilled a sense of emergency in women who put off having children until they have established careers and chosen the right father—or perhaps eschewed the need for one. Gregory's palliative, informative study of 113 mothers between the ages of 35 and 56 (she doesn't share where they live, one failing of this work) reveals the rational motivations on the part of these mostly well-educated, professional women for waiting, as well as their varying success in getting pregnant. Married moms, single moms, gay moms, moms who had a baby by nature or with the help of technology or adoption—Gregory shares her happy discovery that most of these new later moms felt positive about their choices. Some of the reasons they cite in interviews include bringing more financial power and education to the nest, creating a strong family focus and the likelihood of a stable, peer marriage, enjoying a longer life expectancy and a general sense of self-confidence younger mothers may lack. Helpfully, Gregory debunks a lot of the hysterical statistics surrounding infertility and dispenses the wealth of pregnancy and adoption offerings with equanimity and good cheer. (Jan.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
Mommytrackd.com
“A book that focuses on the positive effects of women’s decisions about their working and family lives deserves a rousing welcome... lively, accessible and lucid.”
“A book that focuses on the positive effects of women’s decisions about their working and family lives deserves a rousing welcome... lively, accessible and lucid.”
Washington Post Book World
“Gregory ... has a serious point, and she marshals both anecdotal and statistical evidence to make it. Today's 40-year-old first-time mother not only has plenty of company; she also possesses confidence, professional experience and occupational clout that translate into either leverage on the job market or a happier time out of it, whichever choice that mother makes.”
Adam Pertman, author of Adoption Nation
“Elizabeth Gregory sheds light on an aspect of the contemporary family experience that has not been examined in great detail until now: the new later motherhood phenomenon. Many of the families Elizabeth Gregory examines are formed the old-fashioned way, but a growing number are the result of adoption and reproductive technologies. Finally, we have a wonderful book that provides us with a thoughtful and thorough examination of motherhood and family life in the 21st century.”
Ann Crittenden, author of The Price of Motherhood and If You’ve Raised Kids, You Can Manage Anything
“Elizabeth Gregory has discovered the real truth behind all the false alarms over delayed motherhood: that older mothers tend to be very happy with their decision to have children later in life. A positive, optimistic message for women: you can wait until you are ready to be a good parent.”
Steven Mintz, author of Huck’s Raft: A History of American Childhood
“With clarity, compassion, and common sense, Elizabeth Gregory takes us on a captivating tour of the changing landscape of 21st-century motherhood. She offers a forceful and compelling challenge to those who view contemporary motherhood in ferociously negative terms, as an unholy blend of smother love, over-parenting, and unremitting anxiety and guilt. An insightful and extraordinarily informative look at how today’s highly accomplished women balance the conflicting demands of prolonged professional training, high-pressure careers, and the yearning to raise children.”
Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, author of Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species
"In this beautifully written and well researched book, Elizabeth Gregory explores contemporary transformations in what it means to be a mother, chronicling the exponential growth in the number of women over 35 seeking to conceive or adopt children. Without ignoring the risks, Gregory reviews the advantages to mothers of living on their own terms and the benefits to children of being reared by more experienced, settled and committed individuals, as well as the various options open to women who postpone child-rearing.”
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More About the Author
Elizabeth Gregory directs the Women's, Gender & Sexuality Studies Program at the University of Houston, where she is also a Professor of English. She and her husband, a new later dad, have two increasingly tall children.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
By C. Stanek
Format:Hardcover
I'm delighted to see a book on this topic with all the anecdotal evidence in the world that yes, sometimes late-in-life moms do have an edge over younger ones--more settled, wiser, richer, been there done that and everything else we needed to do to feel complete--except the biggie--motherhood. We may get gray hair sooner and emabarass our teens when the clerk at Abercrombie's thinks we're a grandparent not the parent, but I'm living it and loving it. Gregory gives compelling proof that this choice is not the huge risk it is often perceived to be. Our kids have kept us young(er) and more physically and mentally active than we might otherwise be had we decided that we had missed the boat. The book was also quite readable and not quite as academic a treatise as I had anticipated.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By Rachel Duhon
Format:Hardcover
Although I am not a mother, I am a fan of the English department at University of Houston (my alma mater), go coogs!
I found this book to be a delightful, realistic outlook on the many roles and responsibilities of women in the United States. As a child raised by a single mother, I understand how having an older, educated mother can better enable one's children to be better prepared for the world's obstacles.
What a wonderful read! My friends are buying this book!
I found this book to be a delightful, realistic outlook on the many roles and responsibilities of women in the United States. As a child raised by a single mother, I understand how having an older, educated mother can better enable one's children to be better prepared for the world's obstacles.
What a wonderful read! My friends are buying this book!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By Amanda Young
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I am a married, 30 year old woman, with no kids (currently). I have been focused on my career since my early twenties and when I started having thoughts of babies I needed some guidance. This book is very empowering for older women looking to have a family. It is mostly a collection of stories from other women that have been in the same situation. This book covers married, single, lesbian and much older woman that are looking to, or have already, gotten pregnant. Don't expect this book to have in depth medical advice or any of that. It will show you that there are other women out there that have felt the same... and what they did about it. I really did love this book and have recommended it to several friends in their mid 30s thinking about having a first child or adding to their family.
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