Real Boys Workbook: The Definitive Guide to Understanding and Interacting with Boys of All Ages [Paperback]

William S. Pollack (Author), Kathleen Cushman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1, 2001

The Real Boys' Workbook is a unique, instructive workbook, full of advice, exercises, and stories to help parents, professionals, and boys themselves understand boys—and how to make life with them better. How to listen to boys, talk and be with them, exercises to teach you new ways to handle situations, and strategies for coping with problems (drug and alcohol abuse, gender identity, depression, bullies) are addressed, as readers are encouraged to respond to questions and situations, to learn how to think about boys with new understanding, and to react more creatively. Through writing down responses in the workbook, using the charts and summaries, and taking part in the provocative question-and-answer sections, you will gain insight into boys and their problems and be better able to be with them in effective and powerful ways.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Dr. William Pollack, clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Real Boys and Real Boys' Voices, continues his fight against dangerous gender stereotypes with this essential, satisfyingly hefty volume for parents, teachers, and coaches of boys. He aims to crack the "boy code" (basically, society's unfair assumption that boys are testosterone-driven animals who must convey machismo at all costs) by getting readers to reflect on their own thoughts, feelings, and habitual responses. Designed to stand on its own, Real Boys Workbook revisits material covered in Pollack's other books: spot-on anecdotes about boys and their parents, boys suppressing emotions, boys and sports, plus a humbling dose of smart suggestions for using empathy, shared activities, and respect to nurture their loving qualities. In addition, it provides a broad range of open-ended questions to lead well-intentioned readers toward a path of more constructive behavior.

Readers can easily zero in on chapters that will address their immediate concerns (including aggression, loss, competitiveness, and adolescence). And each chapter is accompanied by a thoughtfully composed set of questions. Some draw vivid scenarios for adults to ponder that are analogous to common boyhood experiences (like being dropped off at daycare), in which the boy is expected to keep a stiff upper lip. Others ask readers to critically examine their beliefs, observations, and typical responses to situations arising at school, at home, and on the ball field. Much of the broad self-awareness generated through Pollack's exercises will benefit folks who interact with children of either gender (a broad audience indeed). The trick will be getting this self-awareness into the hands of thosewho need it most. --Liane Thomas

Review

I wish I had read Real Boys when my son was a boy."
—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia

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Product Details

• Paperback: 400 pages
• Publisher: Villard; 1st edition (May 1, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0375755268
• ISBN-13: 978-0375755262
• Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 1 x 9.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #460,462 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Easy to use. Simple for parents, teachers, mentors., May 27, 2001

By 

K. Sean Buvala "Business Storyteller and Coach" (Avondale, AZ United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Real Boys Workbook: The Definitive Guide to Understanding and Interacting with Boys of All Ages (Paperback)

This workbook is a fine follow up to the original book. The exercises are easy to do and challenge the reader to not only reflect on their boys' lives but to look at their own upbringing and attitudes.

The workbook is filled with easy to understand problem-solving checklists. Although helping a child or teen modify his behavior can not be reduced to a simple "to do" list, the book provides good fodder for thought, reflection and action. Great starting point for anyone involved in a young man's life.

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Very useful to this parent!, June 9, 2002

By 

Jane Ritchie (Tempe, AZ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Real Boys Workbook: The Definitive Guide to Understanding and Interacting with Boys of All Ages (Paperback)

As the mother of two "real boys" (by which I mean they've been very into their macho "boyness" but they're also very real, caring people under the pose) I found this a really helpful guide for understanding and communcating with them in a way that doesn't threaten the "masculinity" that matters so much to them at certain ages but helps them not get too caught in the negative sides of it as well. I think it's best to read his "Real Boys" book first to understand where he's coming from, but this is a very helpful companion!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great practical and necessary accompaniment to main book, February 25, 2007

By 

Patrick D. Goonan "see profile for URL" (Livermore, CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Real Boys Workbook: The Definitive Guide to Understanding and Interacting with Boys of All Ages (Paperback)

I didn't really see a lot of reviews for this workbook and that's really a shame because it a perfect compliment to REAL BOYS. Usually, in order for something to become a habit, one needs to have a felt shift and alternate deep learning with taking action. The main book, which I also interviewed gives you the deep learning, this book is roadmap on how to put what you have learned into practice. One without the other is like trying to walk on one leg in my opinion.

This workbook is loaded with useful inquiries, exercises and supporting text. Specifically, it covers such areas as some basic does and don'ts with boys, how to be a good listener and avoid shaming boys. It also covers boys relationships to their father and mother and the nature of the natural separation that occurs as a boy starts becoming autonomous vs. the kick out of the next that is so common in our culture.

This book is quite comprehensive and it also goes on to explain boy's emotions, anger and aggression, bullies and troublemakers, facing grieving in death of loved ones and divorce, recognizing depression, etc. It also covers the very difficult adolescent years and how to handle emerging sexuality.

William Pollack really cares about boys and their well-being. He has impeccable credentials and he writes his books from a sensitive and caring place. One of his fundamental assumptions is that there is an unspoken "boy code" in our culture that discourages and shames boys for certain feelings and behaviors that lead to problems later in life. Mainly, he talks about how the "macho" persona and sweeping softer emotions under the rug lead to depression and other problems later in life including with intimacy. I think every parent of boys should own at least three books, REAL BOYS, THE REAL BOYS WORKBOOK and PARENTING FROM THE INSIDE OUT.