One afternoon while browsing around various websites, I landed on Charlie Peacock's site for a bit. While there, I discovered Real Love for Real Life: The Art and Work of Caring written by his wife, Andi Ashworth. Intrigued by the title and idea, I placed an order for the book.
Andi begins by calling the work of caregiving a "misunderstood art." She says, "Full-time caregiving in its many forms can be difficult to describe in the usual introductory conversations when people ask the question, 'What do you do?' Most caregivers are at a loss to know how to answer. We know we're exhausted at the end of a day, but knowing how to explain the exact nature of our work is baffling. The work is varied, and each new day or season brings with it a different set of needs."
When I actually picked the book up and started reading it, I think I'd only read about three pages before I put it down, crying. I vividly remember saying out loud, "Okay, that's all the validation I can handle in one sitting, thank you!" It's not that I don't see the importance or value of what I do, or even necessarily that I need someone to say it all the time. But at the moment that I began reading her words of encouragement, I realized then that I really needed to hear them.
Andi goes on to say, "This idea [of success being equal to wealth or recognition] is so deeply ingrained in our thinking that people who are quietly and faithfully caring for one life at a time behind the scenes wonder if anyone considers the work of their hands and heart to be of value."
I've always viewed my role at home to be my calling. I'm supposed to be here with my girls. I'm supposed to take care of my family's daily needs. I'm supposed to, I want to, and, for the most part, I enjoy what I do. But not until I read this book, did I really consider that making an occasional meal for our church's benevolence freezer or hosting our annual "White Trash Super Bowl Party" or inviting over all of our friends without families in town to share a holiday meal with us were also aspects of my calling.
I had never before considered that spending hours painting giant flowers on my girls' bedroom wall might possibly matter in the grand scheme of things, but Andi reminded me that "we were created to love the beautiful," and "since we have been made in the image of God, the Creator of all the diversity and beauty in the universe, part of our image-bearing capacity is to create. We have an inner urge to do so."
Andi is quick to recognize the various seasons of life and their conduciveness (or lack thereof) to meeting extra needs. She talks about how different the needs are in a family with small children and newborns, as opposed to a family with older kids. The need to give care is still present, but the application is so drastically different.
There have been many times I've felt guilty for not being able to say yes to someone or something because I didn't feel I had the capacity to care adequately for the situation due to the stage of life of my family. Andi's words gave me the freedom to relax in my calling, my gifting, and my season.
