Customer Reviews

Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships

5 star:		(41)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

This book ends up better than it starts out and it starts out well. I have seen it change the lives of people I know and I am buying them and giving them away as fast as I can afford to. The principles explained are easy to understand, but more difficult to apply. However the rewards of application are worth every effort. Telling the truth about ourselves as Dr. Baer teachers allows the light to come into our hearts freeing us from darkness and self deceit.

I had a major crisis in my life recently-A sort of Emotional Drowning, which caused me to desperately look for ANY sort of rescue. If you get this book, you can see me in the last chapter, the spouse with no hope he could see, except to leave his wife who he stilled loved. So here I was, getting more and more weary of nothing working--shrinks, marriage counselors, and even some ministers----wondering how did things get this bad, and ready to just let the drowning waves come over me, when I remembered something. A few years back--back when my life was super--I loved my wife, she loved me, we both loved our kidsa---a close friend, actually a fundamental Christian, of which I am the latter not the former, had mentioned just in passing that I really should not just "love" my wife but should have "unconditional love" for her--"Yeah, whatever, so what" was my response-my wife and I loved each other a lot, so what's the point if we call our love some title.

So, before I slipped below the waves, I gave it one last shot---I Googled "Unconditional Love" and "book", with no real optimism that I would find anything to help me. This book popped up-Simple: I bought it---It saved my life!!

The reason that I gave you my history is to show you that I had a BIG TIME NEED for the stuff in this book when I looked for it---That NEED was the ONLY reason I even looked for a book like this, much less read it. Had I read it about 5 years ago, when things "appeared" to be going just fine in my life, my reaction to the book would have been radically different. My review would have looked like this:

3 Stars

"This book is a very interesting read--filled with good concepts to follow, that, however, really don't apply to me, but might apply to you, because my life is great right now and because the small increase in love I might get above what I give and get right now, wouldn't be worth the effort necessary to do the stuff in this book. So I "could" recommend reading this book for how Dr Baer's interesting theories help other people--people who I really have sympathy for, but nothing in common with---they're not like me and my wife. We love each other a lot, and don't have any problems like those people in the book. Therefore, although I could recommend this book for its interesting theories, I don't really see any reason to read this book unless you have allowed your life to go down hill so far that you're like those people in the book".

The title of my review: "If You Don't Think You Need This Book---You Do!!!". Looking back did I "need" a few years ago to put into practise the stuff in this book---You betcha. It took desperately trying to "do" the stuff in this book while I was drowning to realize that had "the light gone on" back when things "apparently" were just fine, my situation definitely would not have gotten this bad. But, sometimes I still seem to have to rationalize the deterioration of my marriage. I think--"Not my fault--I didn't know anything was wrong back then and I didn't even have a chance to decide to do something or not". Speaking of having chances, if you decide to get this book, I'd be curious which of my reviews you would write. Sorry, no punch line yet--but work is in progress, the waves have subsided and I'm getting closer to shore every day.

Have you ever wondered why an intelligent and motivated person like yourself finds it so difficult to change your life? I did and in reading this book and its predecessor "The Truth About Relationships", I found what the self-help books I've read have left out--that changing your life is more than affirmations, deep breathing exercises, and even self-discipline and commitment. This book shared with me what really makes people happy and how to find the happiness that creates the lasting changes and true happiness that you always wanted but never seemed to grasp. Don't assume that you know what "Real Love" is--you may not have really experienced it. But don't despair--you really can change. Do yourself a favor and buy, beg, or borrow (but don't steal) this book! It just might teach you a thing or two!!

What can I say? I've read every book, taken every class and listened to every so called "Wiseman/Wisewoman." Dr. Greg Baer walks the walk! Real Love is the key to true and lasting happiness!

Love,

Rev. Sandra Lee Serrano
Peacemaker

Every bit of information is so useful. It makes you look at what you have done in the past and go ahhhh, that's why, I've got to change that. It has helped me tremendously in my relationships. It has also helped me see what other people has done to me and know that now I have the understanding and tool to deal with them. This will be a book that I want to keep and go back to read from time to time, especially if you are feeling down or insecure. I recommend it to anyone.

Exquisitely simple and beautiful !! That's the best way I can describe this book.
I feel like the author was "in my head" and writing the book just for me. Never could I have imagined that the difficult topics of "love and relationships" could be explained so clearly, lucidly and concisely.
I have often had conversations with friends, family members and people in the "helping fields" about what exactly "love" is and how can I successfully apply it in the relationships that count the most. I found my answers here.
Dr. Baer not only defines what "real love" is, but just as importantly, he defines what it isn't. He refers to these "counterfeits" as "imitation love" and I find great relief in knowing that I don't have to chase after these forms of "fool's gold" anymore. He then lays the blueprint as to precisely how we go about finding the genuine acceptance and love we all crave.
I know that this book will give people the answers they need and will serve to heal a lot of heartache. This book is a treasure.

This book is the best book I have ever read about love, life and the pursuit of happiness.

Greg Baer talks about how we can find real, unconditional love, eliminate anger from our relationships and become more loving ourselves. Most of us did not experience unconditional love when we grew up. When we were quiet and obedient, the adults around us were kind and smiled at us. But when we were messy and noisy, they responded with sharp, angry voices. In order to protect ourselves from our parents' anger or disapproval, we developed protective behaviors like withdrawing, lying, attacking, clinging or acting like a victim. We carry those behaviors into adulthood, where they serve us reasonably well, but generally don't make us happy. We also rely on things like money, shopping, flattery, alcohol, etc. to keep us "happy". You could call those things imitation love, because they make us happy in the short term, but never in the long term.

When we stop blaming others for our own unhappiness we have taken the first step towards a happier life. Greg Baer lays out a very practical approach to happiness, which I have found missing in many other books. Instead of "just be happy" or "stop being angry" (if it was only that easy), he details a few simple steps to take. They may not be easy, but they're simple and very doable!

3 years ago my life was a mess - I was constantly yelling at my two boys, and my husband and I were barely communicating with each other. By reading Greg Baer's book with a group of people in a book club format we learned the steps and supported each other on our path. Today our group is still going strong and meets every Tuesday evening. My life is much different today; I am much happier and have regained my sense of hope for the future.

In a very understandable format, Greg Baer presents a premise which we've probably always known - we can't change others, only ourselves. All the trying in the world won't make it happen; real change can only be achieved through acquiring a new and truer perspective. This shift of seeing people through another lens is so simple and the effect is so far reaching it will touch every aspect of your life. This can be achieved within minutes of beginning to read Dr. Baer's books. If you're ready to take your life and relationships to another level, this is the book for you. If you put these principles into practice you won't need to grit your teeth to control your anger because you won't ever experience anger in the same way again, unless you choose to.

I have read many books on relationships that prescribe emotional "aspirin" for the problems in our relationships. They don't address the cause of those conflicts. This book shows that it is the lack of "Real Love" in our own lives which causes our unhappiness. Our behaviors that make loving relationships difficult are merely results of our attempts to get the love we so desperately want. This is a truly unique book. It is so useful because it so clearly applies to real life. I felt like the examples Dr. Baer used were written just for me. I highly recommend this book to everyone--it applies to us all.

This book was recommended to me by a good friend who has struggled with his intimate relationships for some time. It's pretty good, though it assumes that experiencing love and being happy are the purposes of life. The sex chapter is unfortunately conventional, but the book illuminates the difference between Real Love (which is unconditional) and Imitation Love (which is based on trading), and outlines the "Getting" and "Protecting" Behaviors people use, along with techniques for moving beyond them. The example situations were idealized and conceptual -- not from real life -- and the author is pretty shamelessly promoting himself as a speaker and workshop leader, but his ideas are sound and also give insight, even for those who already swim in the ocean of unconditional love regularly, on how to deal with people who use the Imitation Love behaviors he describes.

It is up to those who experience unconditional love on a regular basis to generate and spread it throughout the world, then we can be in a position to fearlessly examine the larger spiritual issues of existence as well.