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Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together [Kindle Edition]

Mark Driscoll , Grace Driscoll
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (574 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $16.99
Kindle Price: $8.89
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Sold by: HarperCollins Christian Publishing

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Book Description

Most marriage books assume the author did it right. Most marriage books barely mention friendship. Most marriage books use "intimacy" as code for "sex." This is not one of those books.

In Real Marriage, Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, share how they have struggled and how they have found healing through the power of the only reliable source: the Bible. They believe friendship is fundamental to marriage but not easy to maintain. So they offer practical advice on how to make your spouse your best friend - and keep it that way. And they know from experience that sex-related issues need to be addressed directly.

Five chapters are dedicated to answering questions like:

  • Should I confess my pre-marital sexual sin to my spouse?
  • Is it okay to have a "work spouse"?
  • What does the Bible say about masturbation and oral sex?

Stunningly honest and vulnerable, Real Marriage is like a personal counseling session with a couple you cannot surprise, you cannot shock into silence, who will respond to every question with wisdom, humility, and realism.

If you want to have a long-lasting, fulfilling marriage you should read this book. Wrestle with this book. Pray over this book. Share this book. And discover how God this book. Share this book. And discover how God can use it to change your life.

Endorsements:

"If you're married or plan to be someday, do yourself a favor and read every page of this book." -DRS. LES & LESLIE PARROTT authors of Love Talk

"Whether engaged, newlywed, or veteran, Real Marriage will serve as an invaluable resource. I highly recommend this book." -ANDY STANLEY author of The Grace of God and Senior Pastor, North Point Community Church

"One of my greatest concerns is that culture is going to continually define and redefine what marriage is and is not, and the church is going to simply sit on the sidelines and react rather than seeking to actually become proactive by confidently teaching what the Bible has to say about it.  That is why I am so thankful that Mark and Grace Driscoll wrote this book.  Their approach to marriage, its benefits and challenges are transparent and challenging and I honestly believe that every married couple who will work through what they lead us through in this book will not just merely have a marriage that survives in this world but rather thrives in it." - PERRY NOBLE Senior Pastor, NewSpring Church

"Our thanks to Mark and Grace Driscoll who have served this generation well by tastefully but boldly addressing the real issues facing real marriages. Taking the unchanging truth of God's word and sprinkling in is the story of God's mercy in their own marriage they have filled every chapter with real helpfulness. This book is powerful, biblical, practical and healing for marriages that hurt. My wife and our adult children read it to great profit." - DR. JAMES MACDONALD Senior Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel and Bible teacher for Walk in the Word



Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Mark Driscoll pastors Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington, one of the fastest-growing churches in the nation. He is the author or coauthor of twelve books, including Real Marriage and Doctrine: What Christians Should Believe. Mark and his wife, Grace, have five children.



Grace Driscoll is a graduate of the Edward R. Murrow School of Communication, Washington State University, where she earned a BA in Public Relations. She delights in being a stay-at-home mom, where she and her husband, Mark, raise their three sons and two daughters.


Product Details

  • File Size: 1664 KB
  • Print Length: 255 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson; Reprint edition (January 3, 2012)
  • Sold by: HarperCollins Christian Publishing
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005ENBA02
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #72,425 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
400 of 440 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Underwhelmed January 14, 2012
By Leigh
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is the first book I've read by Mark Driscoll. I'll admit it: I was drawn in by a desire to see what all the fuss is about. After reading it, my conclusion is that there's more smoke than fire. Sure, some of the content is going to be shocking to some folks, but other books on Christian marriage also cover the same topics--better.

The first part of the book is about marriage. Mark and Grace share bluntly about their marriage and sexual history, including Grace's history of sexual assault. Mark also talks quite bluntly about a period in their marriage when Grace was what he describes as "frigid." On one hand I appreciate their transparency. Their story shows the difficulties our sexual pasts can put on a marriage, and the hope of finding wholeness despite our pasts. On the other hand--well, we'll get that in a minute. They also emphasize the importance of friendship in marriage. Mark writes a chapter to men and Grace writes a chapter to women, both from the complementarian or male headship perspective. Chapter 5 talks about sin and how it affects our marriage relationships.

Part two is about sex. Chapter Six is a theology of sex. Chapter 7 is written by Grace and talks about healing from sexual abuse. Chapter 8 is a great explanation of the dangers and exploitation associated with pornography. Chapter 9 talks about the attitude we should have toward marital sex--servant as opposed to selfish. Chapter 10 is the infamous "Can we___" chapter--less shocking than some reviewers have made it out to be, though I disagree with some of his conclusions. And his approach. And his exegesis. We'll get to that in a minute, too.
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298 of 339 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Life in the Garden of Driscoll January 24, 2012
Format:Hardcover
This book disturbed me, so much so that my visceral reaction was "I want to protect my daughter from men like Mark Driscoll."

The first half of the book is an intermingling of personal narrative and pastoral counsel. The personal narrative is primarily a specific and detailed litany of Grace's sins against Mark (i.e., cutting her hair, being late, lying during premarital counseling, withholding sex, and not being adventurous enough in the bedroom). There is no corresponding litany of Mark's sins. The only sins Mark admits to are: a) purity code violations prior to marriage; and b) sinful responses to Grace's sins against him.

Mark does tell how he has changed his behavior, replacing sinful responses with godly responses. But, he never takes the next step of rewriting his story in a way that acknowledges his full complicity in the Driscoll family sin drama. Grace remains the lead sinner, while Mark plays only a supporting role. Despite a chapter title to the contrary, there's precious little grace in this story.

This is very important because it is the personal narrative in the first half of the book - not the pastoral counsel in the first half of the book - that becomes the implicit framework for the practical counsel on sex in the second half of the book. Mark did/men do struggle with purity, so there's a great discussion of porn. But apart from that, selfishness in the bedroom is assigned to Grace/the wife. Chapter 9 is ostensibly a general discussion of selfish versus servant love in the bedroom. In principle, that could have been the jumping off point for a balanced discussion of the variety of ways in which husbands and wives struggle to be selfless in the bedroom.
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177 of 201 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Real Marriage is Real Male Dominance December 5, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
A Church home group I am in used this book for a series of meetings. Here is the review I wrote of this book after that experience:

My response to reading the book Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll:

Prior to beginning this home group study I had never heard of Mark and Grace Driscoll. After having read the first four chapters of the book I have come to the conclusion that there is a pervasive and significant underlying belief in the doctrine of male dominance throughout the work. I personally do not believe this is an accurate representation of God's intent for the roles of men and women. The doctrine of male dominance, simply stated, is that it is God's will that women are to be ruled over, controlled by, and dominated by men - particularly their husbands - in family, Church, and civic life.

While the belief in the rectitude or correctness of male dominance has long been held by many in both secular and Church circles, I along with many Biblical scholars, theologians, and teachers disagree with this belief. Much of the history recorded in the Bible demonstrates the reality of male dominance. I believe that a proper understanding of scripture demonstrates that this is a result of sin entering into the world rather than being God's intent for mankind. The Genesis account of the fall of man clearly states that man's rule over women was part of the curse brought about by sin and not part of God's original intent for marriage or man-woman relations. Before the fall, God directed man and woman to collectively rule as equals, with neither one being appointed ruler over the other (Genesis 1:26-28). After the fall it was proclaimed as part of the curse of sin that man would rule over woman (Genesis 3:16).
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great price.
Published 10 days ago by Rosa Cuesta
5.0 out of 5 stars Must have to relive and remember what love is all about
I was able to review this amazing, I believe in the christian religion, and everything but what I liked was that it didnt pressure the subjects of living together , friendship and... Read more
Published 24 days ago by Reviewer to the heart
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent condition.
Product delivered as advertised. Excellent condition.
Published 1 month ago by Desiree
1.0 out of 5 stars Read at your own risk
I found this book to be less than the hype. I really did not like it at all.
Published 2 months ago by Clifton and Lexa
5.0 out of 5 stars Unabashedly honest
An honest look into the sins within our marriages that can tear them apart. Also offers helpful insight and practical ideas to strengthen your marriage.
Published 2 months ago by Monica Easley-Cate
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing biblical wisdom
Every couple should read this book it's life-changing. Thanks for being so bold and not afraid to say the stuff most church's are afraid too but need to say.
Published 2 months ago by Jason Partain
3.0 out of 5 stars Straight forward and blunt, not for the easily offended
Real Marriage is a very straight forward and blunt read, as to be expected by Mark Driscoll. He offers a lot of insight to real life and unexpected situations throughout... Read more
Published 2 months ago by ashley ruiz
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
The man is a sham. So sad
Published 2 months ago by melanie johnston
5.0 out of 5 stars Truth in a straight-forward way. Practical and biblical.
This is an amazing book with many good incites and biblical principals to back them up.
Published 2 months ago by hmariepugh
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
My mind is less smart now. Thanks
Published 2 months ago by Melanie D.
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More About the Author

Pastor Mark Driscoll is the founding pastor of Mars Hill Church, based in Seattle, Washington, and one of the most popular preachers in the world today.

In 2010, Preaching magazine named him one of the 25 most influential pastors of the past 25 years. Pastor Mark's online sermons are downloaded millions of times each year, he is the author of over 15 books, and he has also written for CNN, The Washington Post, The Seattle Times, and many other outlets.

With a skillful mix of bold presentation, accessible teaching, and compassion for those who are hurting the most--in particular, women who are victims of sexual and physical abuse and assault--Pastor Mark has taken biblical Christianity into cultural corners rarely explored by evangelicals. He has been grilled by Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters on The View, gone head-to-head with Piers Morgan on CNN, debated the existence of evil with Deepak Chopra on ABC's Nightline, bantered with the gang on Fox and Friends, and explained biblical sexuality on Loveline with Dr. Drew.

Numerous ministries trace their roots to Pastor Mark's leadership. He is the founder of Resurgence, which offers resources for Christian leaders, including books, events, classes, multimedia, and a blog that welcomes 7 million visits annually. He is the cofounder of the Acts 29 Network, which has planted over 400 churches in the U.S. and over a dozen other nations. In 2010, following a cataclysmic earthquake in Haiti, Pastor Mark cofounded Churches Helping Churches with James MacDonald of Harvest Bible Chapel. The organization raised $2.7 million in funds and delivered an additional $1.7 million in medical supplies to the devastated country.

Born in North Dakota, Mark Driscoll grew up in south Seattle, the son of a union drywaller. After graduating from high school, he attended Washington State University on scholarship. He became a Christian during his freshman year, and finished college with a degree in speech communication from the Edward R. Murrow School of Communication. He later completed a master's degree in exegetical theology from Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon.

In 1996, at the age of 25, Pastor Mark and his wife, Grace, started a small Bible study at their home in Seattle, the least churched city in the U.S. at the time. By God's grace, Mars Hill Church grew beyond all expectations, and now gathers weekly across 15 locations in five states: Washington, Oregon, California, New Mexico, and Arizona. In 2012, Mars Hill was recognized as the third fastest growing and 28th largest church in the country by Outreach magazine.

Pastor Mark and Grace enjoy raising the "fab five" Driscoll kids, and he's grateful to be a nobody trying to tell everybody about Somebody.


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