Real Moments: Discover the Secret for True Happiness [Paperback]

Barbara De Angelis (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1995

To many of us, the experiences that we grew up taking for granted leave become distant dreams in our adult lives: marriages that last a lifetime; safe neighborhoods to call home; the certainty that our children will have a better life than we did; and most of all, lots of time to spend as we wish, living for the moment.  Instead, we find our time and energy spent recovering from the past or protecting ourselves from the future.  The result is a desperate, sometimes dangerous, and often unsuccessful, search for meaning in our lives. In Real Moments, Barbara De Angelis defines happiness not as an acquisition, but as a skill--the skill of capturing every moment and living it completely.  With insight, wisdom, and vision, she teaches us how to rediscover real moments with our mates and our children, with our work and our play, in sex and intimacy, and real moments with ourselves.  It is an examination of our relationship with the process of living itself, offering inspiration as well as practical tools for creating more of one of the most precious moments of all--moments of true meaning in our lives.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Is true happiness achived by having a compatible marriage, the perfect job or owning the right house? Not necessarily, according to DeAngelis (How to Make Love All the Time). Happiness is a skill. That's why we need "real moments"-with our mates, our children and by ourselves-times in which we live fully in the present. A real moment could be enjoying sex or smelling grass after a rain. It could even occur during hard times, as when we receive comforting words from an unexpected source. DeAngelis also warns against defining ourselves by our jobs; even if we love our work, we can take a job too seriously and miss opportunities for real moments. While readers may want to skip the second chapter, "The Crisis of Spirit in America," overall this is an inspiring book.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Library Journal

The best-selling author of How To Make Love All the Time (LJ 6/1/87), among other titles, DeAngelis here examines the relationship we have with life and our search for inner peace. In this mix of philosophy and psychology, she argues that American society suffers from posttraumatic stress syndrome and that its members have anesthetized themselves to life. If Americans can learn to feel pain and pleasure and not rush through life, they will ultimately be happier with themselves and their surroundings. Although DeAngelis's message is not new, it is presented in the highly accessible vocabulary of the 1990s. As a result, more sophisticated readers may sometimes find the work cloying. Nevertheless, DeAngelis is sincere and heartfelt. Her work is at its worst harmless and at its best capable of leading readers to revelations about their lives. Because DeAngelis is a popular talk show guest, all public libraries should expect demand.
January Adams, ODSI Research Lib., Raritan, N.J.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Dell (October 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440507294
• ISBN-13: 978-0440507291
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.7 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #524,308 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Right Now, I Am ...., February 10, 2003

By 

Carmen Matthews "The Serene Samurai" (San Diego, California) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Real Moments: Discover the Secret for True Happiness (Paperback)

Before reading this book, this weekend, I had listened nearly 10 years ago to the "Real Moments" tape. In fact, in 1994, I bought many of Barbara DeAngelis' tape programs.

But I had never read her books, until now, because I was and am eternally grateful for what I have learned, and where I have arrived, as a result of Barbara putting herself out there for all of us to grow from.

In the book, as in Barbara's tapes, she provides so many life examples that expand upon her messages to her audience.

In my notes from nearly 10 years ago, I listed what real moments meant to me, and how I would live real moments - I certainly have grown since then.

And now, having written all over my book, as I recognize that I am further along on my journey to make a difference, here is some of what I see as having real moments;

Real Moments Are:
· Fully being here, now
· Realizing what they gift of now is
· Finding those parts of ourselves that we lost
· Moving deeply into your pain, rather than away from it
· Nourishing your hungry spirit
· Truly empathizing with your interlocutor
· Developing the skill of enjoying where you are now (happiness)
· Knowing that your life has meaning
· Filling yourself up with love and meaning
· Dong something with complete attention, and without any distractions
· Remembering what really matters
· Fully paying attention to the person you are in conversation with, while you ask yourself, "What does he or she need from me, right now?"

· Learning the power of "No," as a complete sentence.
· Putting life in perspective
· You becoming yourself, not what others expect of you
· Just being, without having to perform
· Fully breathing your breaths
· Conducting your rituals
· Expressing your gratitude to yourself, someone else, or to something
· Practicing one random act of kindness
· Celebrating the birth of the person you have become, as a result of your choices
· Silently walking with the person you love
· Accepting your aloneness as being with yourself
· Encouraging children to keep journals; and writing the journals for the children who haven't learned to write, yet
· Seeking out children as your teachers in your life, because they remind you of what you have given away of yourself
· Truly surrendering to your emotional and physical wounds
· Choosing "being" over "doing"
· Offer attention, affection and appreciation everywhere you go, everyday
· Loving
· Sharing your deepest fears and wildest dreams with a compassionate listener
· Sharing cherished experiences
· Having a belly laugh with someone else
· Throwing a party to celebrate someone's life who is still alive, as opposed to after that person is dead
· Truly greeting the sun
· Breathing more deeply, every moment
· Smiling at someone, without wanting anything back
· Seeing the soul behind someone else's eyes
· Focusing upon the question, "Who am I?"

Thank you Barbara DeAngelis, for teaching me many years ago to write my truths, so that I can more deeply celebrate how I have grown.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "Disappointed" Missed out on what the book was about......, October 7, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Real Moments: Discover the Secret for True Happiness (Paperback)

I read this book several years ago when it was in hardback. I have given it to friends also. 'Real Moments' was a great start in my own search for spirituality. I found the book so informative and so very important - keeping yourself in the moment by paying attention to the now. Opening not only your eyes but also your heart, mind and spirit --- your soul.

From reading 'Disappointed's' review and can tell that the point was totally missed.

'Real Moments' is a basic explanation of life and how to appreciate what you have day to day and how not to loose it because your mind is hung up on things in the past or things you desire for the future. Attention, attention, attention.... make yourself aware yourself and what you have in your own life.

Excellent book -- I also have the audio tapes and still listen to them over and over again.

Don't miss out on this book.... get in touch with you!

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Creating a REAL Life in the Moment, April 11, 2004

By 

Barbara Rose (BornToInspire.com) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Real Moments (Hardcover)

Real Moments is a wise, compassionate book of genuine wisdom to take the moment we are in and create what we are here to do, or what we love in order to live a life filled with inner peace and happiness.

There are many wonderful quotes from Barbara DeAngelis spread throughout the book that alone are worth this books price.
From work, to difficult times, love relationships, creating sacred spaces, acts of kindness, and family this book cover how to use inner reflection and silence to hear your own inner voice, and honor how you feel in the moment.

Highly recommended for anyone who lives life primarily angry, frustrated, stressed out and sick of it all. This wonderful book will help you turn that around.
Barbara Rose, author of "Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE" and 'If God Was Like Man'
Editor of inspire! magazine