Customer Reviews

The Real Reasons Men Commit: Why He Will - or Won't - Love, Honor and Marry You

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book was recommended to me after my failed engagement, by my friend whom just had a divorce. She told me it would change my life, and it did. As I was reading the chapters, every example was a man I've known or dated or considered dating. Obviously those relationships didn't work out because of the commitment issues these men had. I love that the book is written both in the male and woman's' perspective. I recommend this book for all women to shed some light on what these men are thinking!

I found this book to be frustratingly repetitious and offensively simplistic. It reads like a Cosmo article, (which is actually quotes stats from) and should be taken about as seriously as one. I guess the fact that Mario Lopez is one of the endorsers of the book should have been a clue... Here's how "smart" they think the average reader is...if on a first date a guy states that one loses sense of self and independence when in a relationship, he's probably not commitment minded (um, duh?). I'm very disappointed that this book was co-authored by a Ph.D. level therapist given it's bubblegum style, use of poorly referenced and meaningless stats, as well as it's lacking (sometimes inaccurate) description of mental health issues. Point in case, those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (many individuals with NPD are VERY good lovers because they want to avoid criticism, and because they want to live up to their grandiose image, they are often people pleasers to gain the admiration and praise they crave). After reading about how sex is just sex to men for the 100th time and the phrase "your man" for the 1000th time, I was about ready to call it quits with this book...did I mention how repetitious it is? I was also annoyed at the case studies presented...though they were supposed to be from the perspective of individuals, they were all written in the same style and language which busted any credibility and seemed fabricated only to prove a point (often a pointless point at that! lol) Katie did what we said and got married in two months! Sarah did not follow our advice, and she lost her man and was heartbroken...I'm paraphrasing but the point is the advice and scenarios were way too cut and dry. In addition, if you are actually hoping to learn "the real reasons men commit", you are not going to find any easy answers in this book. In addition to not living up to the title, the authors spent WAY too much time writing about co-habitation and married men. Some of the material seemed tangential as if the authors liked it but since it was off topic, they just shoved it in anywhere they could fit it. For example, there is a whole chapter about women who are avoiding commitment...um, useful? maybe, but the book is supposed to be about the real reasons men commitment, not why some women don't commit. To summarize, this book could have been condensed into a ten page essay and gives men and women the value of characters on Sex in the City. Okay, to be fair, it has a few good points (like actions speak louder than words...original, huh?) but having to sift through the filler to find them is not worth it. If you are looking for help with your next relationship, The Real Reasons Men Commit doesn't live up to its name and will likely leave a sour taste in your mouth for the male species. After all, 99% of them are just out to manipulate you and use you for sex! For something more humanistic, realistic, and more applicable to us normal people, try Why Men Won't Commit by Weinberg (it's not perfect, but I found it much more compassionate and balanced).

This book made me think a lot. Made me question my relationship and push for something more. It is definately a book you should read if you want to find out if you man is going to commit and helps you lay your food down if you're ready to marry and he isnt.

This book was rather good, but the most things written in it seemed banal and commonplace. I haven't discovered anything new reading it. It has all been written before by other authors.

I love this book! Finally, someone sets the record straight and tells the truth, so it was worth every penny. I read it in three sittings and couldn't wait to come back to it each time. I have read the author's work on [...] and she offers great insights, delivered in a really engaging way. I love the smart expert advice. But what I really love more is the tone. It's like having a smart best friend who really sets you straight and backs up what she says with years of experience.

As I've been saying to friends for years, there is not one hard and fast rule to make a man to commit. In fact, there are several patterns that lead one to say "I do." This book lists them all and provides details without being gimmicky. It's not "He's Just Not Into You!" "The Real Reasons..." is my go-to guide for dating.

I had many confusions in the past about some relationships that failed, after I read this book it was like describing the actual persons I met in my past like they are talking about me and that person, it is very interesting book, after I was feeling hurt I feel fine now, so I am no longer feeling hurt or doubting my self, this book I see that it will be very helpful for the next relationship with success.
Thank you

I am not amused at Mr Mark Twain's negative comments about this book. Aren't there typos in virtually every book, periodical, email? I've made them, I'm sure you have too. I saw the typos myself, didn't phase me one iota. I wasn't obsessed with them like Mr Twain. Aren't we more interested in the content, value, and helpfulness or substance than typos? Seems a little too negative and hurtful to me. I found the book, and also Sex Comes First by the same authors, to be fresh, helpful, and very realistic on a subject (dating, relationships) that is difficult and elusive and the basis of countless books / articles. It held my interest for the whole read and I cannot get a handle on relationships myself. The authors tackled a tough nut, and in my opinion came out with two winners. I give them both five stars. And I was amused during the read, authors have humor on top of knowledge and experience.

I can not believe someone, whom I can only hope is an avid reader, would spend so much time and effort belittling a book that is only meant to help (and subsequently entertain) people. Have you read a newspaper lately? Or even an advertisement? Case in point- Apple's "Think Different" campaign. You know as well as I that it should be "Differently" and yet it was widely accepted throughout the country. It is a sad state of affairs but have you not noticed our nation is ill-educated? Consider the people through whose hands a manuscript passes on the path from author to bookshelf, please.

Then, ask yourself- Did I learn anything from this book? Did I have a good time reading it? My answers were emphatically "yes" and "yes". I actually learned from reading this book and I had an extremely good time doing it.

Much luck to Mr. Twain in his future perusals.

There are quite a few stereotypes in this book, and as a woman I essentially feel the book places women in a negative light. We are not all poor women who might be confronted with a "vulnera-phobic" man having fear of commitment. Women can just as well have fear of commitment; we can just as well be afraid of being hurt. From that perspective, in my view this book is not a specific key to understanding men's psychology, but rather to facing the existence of fear of commitment in general.

What's the point besides of ending the series of 'lessons' by concluding that we, women, "will probably have to kiss a lot of frogs along the way before finding [our] true prince"? Isn't that true for all people who look for the right partner in life? And didn't we all know that already?

Furthermore, in my opinion, the chapter on dating married men describes women way too much as poor mistresses full of idle hopes who will ultimately be deceived and probably end up being the big losers. I believe this is not true in all cases - the mistress is not always the weak one, just as an affair is not always totally loveless either. Besides, what is the difference between the reasons making the married woman start an affair, and those motivating the married man? Is there a difference? The book only shows one perspective, and also generalizes too much in my view.