Customer Reviews

The Real Truth About Alien Abductions

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The Real Truth About Alien Abductions is simply the most ridiculous book ever printed. I met Mr. Ness in a local libation establishment, and needless to say it is an experience I will never forget. He drew a picture for me and my comrades of an alien that had perpetrated him. He explained that the alien fed off of his aura and what a feast it must have been! I digress, this book personifies the author. Simply, it is crazy. His idea of government involvement with the aliens in a drug scandal is simply ridiculous and based on nothing but heresay. Also, the book appears to have been edited by a blind third grader.

Thank you Mr. Ness, we are all less intelligent for having read your book and having met you in person.

And meeting Mr. Ness was an awful experience. I realize the author is serious about what he's written and that makes is so much worse and more terrifying. The writing and editing are chaotic and the illustrations are funny in a scary way, mostly scary. Little bits of rehashed government/alien-abduction conspiracy, including anal probing, but with a new twist: Aliens are helping in the "War on Drugs."

I DID NOT PAY FOR THIS BOOK! I met the author in a bar. He is, in my opinion, a mess. Shouting and spitting. After Mr. Vess drunkenly raved to my fiends and I about "the truth" and his book, the bartender forced a copy on us. Another patron had given the copy to the bartender and he couldn't wait to get rid of it.

In all, it made me kind of sad.

I read a lot of books dealing with fringe science, and I've seen some truly jaw-dropping stuff, both good and bad; this is one of the latter. There has been a lot of incredible silliness written about alien abductions, but this one takes the cake. Hell, it takes the whole bakery. The back cover states, "This book tells of how the government and an alien race are working together to win a war against drugs." Well, gee, the aliens can't be doing too much good, can they? Just watch the evening news.

There are numerous drawings which, even though they are only on the level of a fairly talented high-schooler, are probably the best thing about the book, as the text is written by someone who is barely literate. I confess I didn't actually read the whole book, but just sections here and there, much of which seems to deal with a government/alien conspiracy against the author and the author's ability to see invisible things no one else can see.

Some of the drawings are unintentionally(?) hilarious, such as the one on page 70, which shows the author being subjected to some kind of rectal oscilloscope by a Gray.

This book is good for a few sick laughs, nothing more.

'The Real Truth About Alien Abductions' is a fascinating book. Andre Ness' objectivity reinforces the veracity of his thesis that humans continue to be abducted by aliens. The evidence is overwhelming. Central to the book's validity is the account detailed on pages 46 to 68. Ness describes the experience of Harry Balzac, a men's room cleaner from Battle Mountain in Nevada. This brief extract, in Balzac's own words, epitomizes the undeniable truth of the phenomenon:

'It was around 11 on a clear, star-filled night and I had just left the gas station. Without warning, I was lifted into the sky on a beam of purple light and then found myself stretched out on a floating table inside some sort of operating room. All I could hear was the slow hum of the space craft's engine and my own heartbeat. Suddenly, a creature appeared. It was about 9'6" with the body of an octopus, the face of a goat and the smile of a real estate agent about to close a deal.
"I am Gorgon from the planet Zola," he said, "but all my friends on the Interplanetary Bowling Team call me Barry. I have done an anal probe and a dental probe, Earthling, and there is good and bad news."
"What's the good news?" I asked, trembling.
"You're in excellent health."
"So what's the bad news?"
"I used the same probe. I am now going to remove all recollection of your abduction by using this gravitomagnetic, superconductive, quantum interference ray gun. Dang! The battery's dead! Oh well, just don't tell anyone, ok?"
The next thing I remember was waking up in a Battle Mountain motel room that was crawling with cockroaches and littered with empty beer bottles and half-eaten pizzas. But at least I was home with my brain still in one piece. And the jar it was in even had a lid.'

Read Andre Ness' book and you'll rid yourself of doubt.

This book is one mans spin on unexplainable events in his life.There is fact and conjecture.It is interesting on several levels.Something is going on and he tries to explain and understand.The book suffers from poor editing,but holds the readers interest nonetheless.It attempts to dissect the fringes of our modern reality.Mr Ness' anger and frustration with the 'Aliens" intrusion into his life is front and center in his thoughts.I found "The Real Truth About Alien Abduction"by Andre Ness to be a thought-provoking and entertaining read.