Customer Reviews

Real Vamps Don't Drink O-neg

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I was surprised at how funny this book was.Though I hid the cheesy cover from my friends, I really enjoyed this book. I laughed out loud numerous times and couldn't help but love the steamy lovin!

The number of new vampire-themed stories being published each month seems to continue to increase and consequently all the amusing book titles have already been snapped up. "Real Vamps Don't Drink O-Neg" is the rather clumsy title for a book which doesn't ever discuss O-Neg, or even what 'Real vampires' are, apart from the fact that in the story heroine Sophie Hahn doesn't believe in them, or anything else unusual. That's until she discovers that the new wife of her friend Dao seems to have shed a snake scale. Fortunately her boss knows all about this kind of thing, Dao's wife is a Lamia (a snake-like vampire) who is sucking the life out of Dao. There's only one way to rescue Dao and that's with some strange ancient Hebrew artefacts so Sophie goes to her local library to look them up.

There she bumps into Ric Vogel (another German avian surname, 'Hahn' meaning cockerel and 'Vogel' meaning bird) who is a College Professor and rather dishy. He already has the book she needs in his hands and won't give it up so she ends up agreeing to go for a drink with him. However a scary experience of a vampire biting her during the night forces her to reconsider her preconceptions about supernatural creatures and she ends up teaming up with Ric to find the artefacts. There's more to Ric than first meets the eye, however, and soon Sophie finds herself caught between trusting two vampires who keep secrets from her.

The underlying plot (searching for the Hebrew artefacts) becomes rather ignored at times for the sex scenes, then picked up again. Neither Sophie nor Ric seem to have a great deal going for them except for physical attributes and, in Sophie's case, bravery (foolhardiness?) The book never really grabbed my attention and the characters seemed too shallow. The final denouement was a damp squib with a few attempts at plot twists that didn't really feel comfortable. It seems the real point of the book was the sex scenes, some of which contained elements that many traditional readers of paranormal romances might find distasteful. Perhaps the book might have been more successful if it tried to include a little of the humour of the title or, alternatively, concentrated more on the plot and characterisation and less on descriptions of sex acts.

Originally published for Curled Up With A Good Book, [...]. © Helen Hancox 2007

Words cannot express how much I hated this book. Well, actually they can: I wrote a review immediately after I read it explaining in detail why I thought it was so awful but that review has disappeared. Hmmmm. I wonder why.

Another reviewer calls the book "erotic." I disagree unless you like the throwback to the old style romances where the heroine has the Big O while being sexually assaulted against her will. That occurred during the first supposedly erotic scene and the assaulter wasn't even the "hero." That's creepy, not erotic. Later in the book, the hero pushes the heroine to do something she doesn't want -- and again she climaxes. Unacceptable. None of the sex scenes were erotic or sexy, IMHO.

The plot is uninspired and full of holes so the book wouldn't be worth reading even if you skipped all the creepy sex scenes.

I picked up the book because the title made me think it would be amusing and romantic. It wasn't. I would give this book 0 stars if I could.

Ironically paranormal researcher Sophie Hahn is skeptical that the paranormal exists as she has found no hardcore supporting data to affirm ghosts, werewolves and other supernatural creatures exist. However, she learns the hard way that her disbelief is false when she investigates her best friend Dao's strange illness. Sophie has discovered that vampires exist because Dao's new spouse is of that species and though she loves him, she is a black widow killing her mate.

College professor and vampire Ric Vogel learns of Sophie's discovery and recruits her to help him find two ancient relics that he believes will save Dao's life and his species. As they work together, Sophie and Ric fall in love, but if they are not careful she could be conducting her research in the afterlife

REAL VAMPS DON'T DRINK O-NEG is an entertaining erotic vampire romantic thriller starring two likable protagonists who readers will root for as a team and to defeat the villain. The story line is fast-paced from the first moment Sophie and Ric meet and never slows down until the last blood drips. Although the ending seems anemic, fans will appreciate this fun tale as the good guys battle against the evil doers in between plenty of sexual interludes.

Harriet Klausner

When I got this book I bought it due to the tittle, thinking got to be ok with a name like that! Well it is and it keeps you going till the end. I got it in the mail one day and finished it. Sophie keeps you laughing thru the whole book. Trying to save her friend she neets some really different creatures. The way she writes about her vampires,the author, is a little different. Would never have thought of them this way, but I did enjoy them and it worked for this story. How could you not with a hunk like Ric. And the way Sophie describes him makes your mouth water.. Even the first vampire who she meets sounds like a hunky guy. Wouldn't mind meeting a few of these vampires. The story is fun and keeps you interested waiting to see what is going to happen next and what is going to come out of Sophie's mouth. What I liked is that she isn't one of those tiny skinny women the way most are in the books. Don't get me wrong she isn't huge or anything it's just the way she talks about her body is the way most of us think about ours! She is just a normal woman who doesn't believe in all this vampire and ghost stuff until she sees it for herself.. Read the book, I think you will enjoy it.. I did!