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How to Really Love Your Adult Child: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World Paperback


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Frequently Bought Together

How to Really Love Your Adult Child: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World + Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents + When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Northfield Publishing; New Edition edition (February 21, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0802468519
  • ISBN-13: 978-0802468512
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #59,321 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

GARY CHAPMAN, PhD, is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages. With over 30 years of counseling experience, he has the uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to human behavior, showing readers not just where they go wrong, but also how to grow and move forward. Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University. For more information visit his website at www.5lovelanguages.com.

ROSS CAMPBELL, M.D., is the author of the bestselling book How to Really Love Your Child, which has sold more than one million copies. He has spent over 30 years as a clinical psychiatrist, concentrating on the parent-child relationship. Today he works with the Ministering to Ministers Foundation, serving individual ministers, their families, and church organizations. Dr. Campbell is the co-author of The Five Love Languages of Children and Parenting Your Adult Child and author of How to Really Love Your Teenager. Dr. Campbell resides in Signal Mountain, Tennessee.

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Customer Reviews

Very easy to read and informative.
C. J. Wallerick
The book helped me to understand and communicate better with my young adult children.
basketballnan
I highly recommend this book for the parents of adult children.
PoCoKat

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Keiki Hendrix VINE VOICE on March 25, 2011
Format: Paperback
Do our children ever really grow up? In our culture today, parents face several a `new normal' with their adult children.

If you have adult children who have made bad choices, what advice do they give them. Even if they've made good choices, their reality is vastly different than when you were a young adult. How then can we biblically parent our adult children both by our behavior and our instruction?

Take heart. How to Really Love Your Adult Children: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World by Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman offers wise advice and solid biblical instruction to parents dealing with adult children.

Beginning with a profile of an adult child in today's society and moving through red flag indicators and areas of concern, each chapter offers advice to parents of adult children with challenges like success (or heartbreaking failure), commitment and independence (or the lack thereof), facing lifestyle issues (sex and cohabitation.)

This is a needed book. I am the parent of adult children myself. In this changing society, I needed the advice provided here. Why, because the common thread running through all pages of this book was love. We can always learn to love better.

This book takes on some very hard topics. Homosexuality, Heterosexual Cohabitation, Addiction, among them. When each of these topics are addressed, the response of love is encouraged. Even when discussing tough love, the purpose is to make sure the adult child is confident in the bond or relationship with the parent.

Warnings signs are also discussed. Being aware of the symptoms of Depression, ADD, Passive-Aggressive behavior, and many more make the parent of an adult child much knowledgeable and aware.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By C. J. Wallerick on March 21, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I usually read self-help books in sections. I read this from cover to cover. We have our 21 yr old daughter living with us, and there has been so much tension. This book helped me as a parent, HOW to communicate and open up. And also to realize that change doesn't happen overnight, but I've got a good start. Very easy to read and informative. Loved it!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By T. Koehn on June 19, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am not the parent of an adult child, or even a small child for that matter. I just happen to be an adult child, and the sibling of several. I read this more to help me know what to say to the parents I interact with on a daily basis as they talk to me about their adult children.

This book covers most common modern scenarios which would happen with your adult children. The ones who make you proud, the ones who make you not so proud, and all the ones in between. I can't say from a parent's POV, but as an adult child, I think it sounds like reasonable information parents should learn.

FYI you should read the Love Languages books first or at least know what they are talking about or some of the things they say won't make sense.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Mattmurphymswym on February 8, 2012
Format: Paperback
How to Really Love Your Adult Child is a great book written by Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman (also wrote the Love Language series of books). In this short, yet detailed read, Campbell and Chapman engage a major problem happening not only in the church but in secular society as well. From my experience as a social worker, working across the age spectrum, it is evident that parents often have a difficult time adjusting to life with their children after they have become adults.

They discuss what normal young adulthood is currently looking like and emphasize parental support for their children while maintaining healthy boundaries for those they have reared. They discuss in almost every area the range of emotions and responses that both sides are feeling and reacting to, ranging from defensive to aggressive responses.

Chapman and Campbell also discuss negotiation in several areas, including when children come home after they have left the nest. They do well in breaking apart two groups those who fail to thrive on their own (maybe depressed) and those who come home with a strategy in place. Not only do these authors discuss difficult junctures, but they also discuss the more normal ones, such as empty nest, independence, building an adult relationship, becoming an in-law and a grandparent.

The only concern I have is that this book, while it does talk about drawing that line, seems to minimize how difficult it is to do that sometimes when you already have made choices towards enabling your children. They talk about how to do it, but could spend more time talking about moving around the defense mechanisms that they will face, the hostility, anger, resentment, etc that most likely will come from an overly-dependent child.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By CarliAlice on August 4, 2012
Format: Paperback
In this book Dr.s's Campbell and Chapman walk you through how to develop a relationship with your adult child that is both nurturing and friend. They discuss different difficulties you may face when dealing with an adult child and provide practical advice on how to best mentor/befriend your child without straining your relationship or putting additional burden on you. Finally, they discuss how to leave a true legacy for your children.

I found this book interesting in different ways. The overall concept was great but they seemed to think that the only people with adult children would be those over 50. Many of their examples of now vs. then is 50 years ago vs. today. As a matter of fact, at the beginning of the book they state that while this is mostly focused on those adult children between 18-30, they also state that some of the discussion will help you understand "your older adult children, especially those Gen Xers in their late thirties and forties." That would be me and my husband. We have adult children.

Additionally, many of the examples they provided were of more affluent people. They frequently discussed helping to pay for counseling or when you should or shouldn't use money to help. I will never be in the financial situation that many of the example families are in so I therefore did not always relate.

However, they did cover the whole gamut of situations you might deal with as the parent of an adult child. They were not afraid to tackle any issue and discuss how you can emotionally cope and handle the situation so as to still have an in-tact relationship with your child. I also enjoyed how the Dr's gave you hope that it is never too late to develop a better relationship with your child or serve as a better role model.
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