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How to Really Love Your Adult Child: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World Paperback – February 21, 2011


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Frequently Bought Together

How to Really Love Your Adult Child: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World + Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents + When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Northfield Publishing; New Edition edition (February 21, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0802468519
  • ISBN-13: 978-0802468512
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #61,235 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

GARY CHAPMAN, PhD, is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages. With over 30 years of counseling experience, he has the uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to human behavior, showing readers not just where they go wrong, but also how to grow and move forward. Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University. For more information visit his website at www.5lovelanguages.com.

ROSS CAMPBELL, M.D., is the author of the bestselling book How to Really Love Your Child, which has sold more than one million copies. He has spent over 30 years as a clinical psychiatrist, concentrating on the parent-child relationship. Today he works with the Ministering to Ministers Foundation, serving individual ministers, their families, and church organizations. Dr. Campbell is the co-author of The Five Love Languages of Children and Parenting Your Adult Child and author of How to Really Love Your Teenager. Dr. Campbell resides in Signal Mountain, Tennessee.

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Customer Reviews

Very easy to read and informative.
C. J. Wallerick
Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman help us understand the nature of adult children today and show us how to build a healthy relationship in this book.
Paula Greene
I highly recommend this book for the parents of adult children.
PoCoKat

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful By Keiki Hendrix VINE VOICE on March 25, 2011
Format: Paperback
Do our children ever really grow up? In our culture today, parents face several a `new normal' with their adult children.

If you have adult children who have made bad choices, what advice do they give them. Even if they've made good choices, their reality is vastly different than when you were a young adult. How then can we biblically parent our adult children both by our behavior and our instruction?

Take heart. How to Really Love Your Adult Children: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World by Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman offers wise advice and solid biblical instruction to parents dealing with adult children.

Beginning with a profile of an adult child in today's society and moving through red flag indicators and areas of concern, each chapter offers advice to parents of adult children with challenges like success (or heartbreaking failure), commitment and independence (or the lack thereof), facing lifestyle issues (sex and cohabitation.)

This is a needed book. I am the parent of adult children myself. In this changing society, I needed the advice provided here. Why, because the common thread running through all pages of this book was love. We can always learn to love better.

This book takes on some very hard topics. Homosexuality, Heterosexual Cohabitation, Addiction, among them. When each of these topics are addressed, the response of love is encouraged. Even when discussing tough love, the purpose is to make sure the adult child is confident in the bond or relationship with the parent.

Warnings signs are also discussed. Being aware of the symptoms of Depression, ADD, Passive-Aggressive behavior, and many more make the parent of an adult child much knowledgeable and aware.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful By C. J. Wallerick on March 21, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I usually read self-help books in sections. I read this from cover to cover. We have our 21 yr old daughter living with us, and there has been so much tension. This book helped me as a parent, HOW to communicate and open up. And also to realize that change doesn't happen overnight, but I've got a good start. Very easy to read and informative. Loved it!
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By T. Koehn on June 19, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am not the parent of an adult child, or even a small child for that matter. I just happen to be an adult child, and the sibling of several. I read this more to help me know what to say to the parents I interact with on a daily basis as they talk to me about their adult children.

This book covers most common modern scenarios which would happen with your adult children. The ones who make you proud, the ones who make you not so proud, and all the ones in between. I can't say from a parent's POV, but as an adult child, I think it sounds like reasonable information parents should learn.

FYI you should read the Love Languages books first or at least know what they are talking about or some of the things they say won't make sense.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Mattmurphymswym on February 8, 2012
Format: Paperback
How to Really Love Your Adult Child is a great book written by Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman (also wrote the Love Language series of books). In this short, yet detailed read, Campbell and Chapman engage a major problem happening not only in the church but in secular society as well. From my experience as a social worker, working across the age spectrum, it is evident that parents often have a difficult time adjusting to life with their children after they have become adults.

They discuss what normal young adulthood is currently looking like and emphasize parental support for their children while maintaining healthy boundaries for those they have reared. They discuss in almost every area the range of emotions and responses that both sides are feeling and reacting to, ranging from defensive to aggressive responses.

Chapman and Campbell also discuss negotiation in several areas, including when children come home after they have left the nest. They do well in breaking apart two groups those who fail to thrive on their own (maybe depressed) and those who come home with a strategy in place. Not only do these authors discuss difficult junctures, but they also discuss the more normal ones, such as empty nest, independence, building an adult relationship, becoming an in-law and a grandparent.

The only concern I have is that this book, while it does talk about drawing that line, seems to minimize how difficult it is to do that sometimes when you already have made choices towards enabling your children. They talk about how to do it, but could spend more time talking about moving around the defense mechanisms that they will face, the hostility, anger, resentment, etc that most likely will come from an overly-dependent child.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Karen Carchidi on April 28, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book offers advice like "pray with your child" "get them into counseling".
The reality is that if they are troubled, the last thing they want is to pray with you or to be told to go to counseling.
I've found much better information on line about Children Who Won't Grow Up, especially young men seem to be having a hard time these days. Understandably! One good book was "Grown Up Children Who Won't Grow Up".
And talking to others alot! Get counseling for yourself rather than them if they are adults, you can't make them go. Learning to let of of feeling you have to fix and control them. Let them know you are there for them, love them, but don't enable them. Ween them off financial support. Take care of yourself. Keep yourself balanced and don't let anger or fear take over. Set a good example and often they will slowly start to stand on their own two feet and become someone you not only love, but that you actually like. We so often forget how we were when we were young. We don't want our kids to go through what we did. But maybe they need to? Best wishes.
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