Customer Reviews

How to Really Love Your Child (Signet)

5 star:		(27)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I was deeply offended when a friend gave me a copy of this book. How dare she insinuate that i didn't know how to love my children. Nobody loved their children more than I, but out of respect for her effort to help me to find better ways of living with my children as a single parent--I read the book. Just about everything Campbell said , I found contention with. why should I hug them when I didn't get hugs in my own childhood? or get down on their level when I was so busy? or look into their eyes when I was so tired? why? none of it made sense to me & I argued all the way through the book. I am a very stubborn person, so I set out to prove this obviously idiot author WRONG--BY EXPERIMENTING & DOING IT HIS WAY. Well, guess what, folks, I saw such a tremendous change in life with my children that "How to Really Love Your Child" became known as THE BOOK at our house. When life got tough & we'd be in the middle of some big fight...one of them would stop & say "Mom, you better get out THE BOOK". They knew its value because when I'd refer to THE BOOK & re-read what Campbell said about whatever problem we were having, I'd become more centered & balanced & back in control myself. My kids knew they'd GET IT when i figured out what to do, but they also knew that coming from THE BOOK whatever THEY GOT would be administered with real love. I came from a background devoid of personalized attention & hugs & most of the stuff THE BOOK advocates. I learned real fast that what i got when I hugged a child...was a hug for myself. and when I looked into little eyes, they were looking into mine. I felt that by parenting my children with the skills touted in THE BOOK I was making up for some of the loss of my own childhood. They were like little reflecting mirrors. Today my children are grown & I'm very proud of them & their abilities. This pride wouldn't have happened without the guidance I got from Campbell's "HOW TO REALLY LOVE YOUR CHILD".! Over the years I've probably given a hundred of these books away as gifts. One lady gave it back saying "i sure wish my kids were like yours, but it's just too much trouble." Well, I figured I had to live through 20 years anyway, so I might as well make it an investment in their lives rather than have to look back with regrets. My kids are great people...Thanks, Campbell, you did good!

An absolutely wonderful book! Dr. Campbell writes from a Christian perspective on how to REALLY love your child. He asserts that everyday a child is asking his parents, "Do you love me?", not only through his words, but more importantly through his behavior. It's our answer to this question that will have the biggest impact on his/her life. Loving UNCONDITIONALLY is the answer--this means loving your child no matter what and even when at times you detest his/her behavior.

Specifically, Dr. Campbell teaches that in order to love unconditionally, you must do four things: Show love through eye contact, show love through physical attention, show love through focused attention, and finally show love through discipline. He explains how important each of these things are and how big a mistake it is to only focus on discipline. I especially liked his discussion on what he thinks Proverbs 13:24 really means regarding "Not sparing the rod". "The shepherd's rod referred to in Scripture was used almost exclusively for guiding the sheep, not beating them." In other words, we need to guide and train our children, not beat them to instill obedience.

Can't recommend this book highly enough. It's a very easy read and it really convicted me to be a better parent by loving my kids unconditionally. Read it and see if you're not convinced it will make you a better parent.

I have two other sisters one younger, one older and we all have at least two children. My mother bought three copies of this book and sent one to each of us at the same time. By some grace I happened to have recieved my copy at a time when I was having horrible problems with my 3 year old son. At three he was on the verge of being expelled from the Christian Daycare he was attending. My husband I were at our wits end so when I got this book I immediately picked it up and read it.(I found out later that of us 3 girls I was the only one who did).I read the whole book in 3 days going over sections several times. My husband and I began putting Dr. Campbell's suggestions into practice right away and within one week it was like living with a completely different child. Once we understood the whole "Emotional Gas Tank" theory we began to recognize quite easily when our son was getting low. What a difference. We sat down and talked with the director of the school whom also helped us to identify some personalized areas that we were not setting limits for our son thus compounding the discipline problem. The frist week was very tough but it was so worth it. It has been over a year now and we continue to practice the things we have learned in this book. I have recommended it to many friends and encouraged my sisters to read it as they continue to have problems with thier children. It is written from a Christian Standpoint which I personally find a big plus. This book is worth its weight in gold.

There has been a lot of emphasis recently by "parenting experts" on training and discipline of children. This book was recommended to me by some friends as an alternative resource to some of the popular parenting "programs" out there, especially in the Christian community...we had taken one very popular (and now controversal) course and had serious reservations about it.

Campbell's book has a lot of refreshing insights into how to devlop strong parent/child relationships, to help guide and develop your child's character and moral compass and help your chldren WANT to make right choices. While reading it, I became soberly aware of just how far my spouse and I had to go in showing love to our children....that OUR behavior needed changing as well as our children's.

A challenging book! I also highly recommend "Children in Danger," Campbell's book dealing with children and anger (and parents and anger, too!) Another must-read for parents!

I am a family therapist and this is one of the best books I've ever read on parenting, loving your child. Although,I am not a big believer in spanking. But I know many experts would disagree with my views on spanking. Your child is really looking for your love, attention and approval. This is a book for both parents to read! Not just mothers. Dr. Campbell has a great message to fathers. I highly recommend this book to new parents. It's a great book to read when your child is young, as it will help you get off on a strong parenting path.

Most practical help book for raising children that I have ever seen. You can actually put the principles into practice immediately..and easily.

... but like many book authors, he takes good points to an extreme, leaving the teaching unbalanced. I totally agree with his basic premise, that today's Christian parenting books are too heavy on discipline and don't teach how to nurture enough. He does a really good job of stating the few basic things every child needs - eye contact, physical touch, focused attention, affirming words. These things fill the child's "emotional tank," therefore avoiding many discipline problems before they come up. He also does a great job of explaining why the marital relationship is of vital importance to a happy home.



However toward the last 1/3 of the book the good teaching was taken to a not-good extreme. He implies that if the child is being obnoxious or ornery it is always the parent's fault for not filling the little darling's emotional tank. On page 114 he gives an example of a child who has always willingly done a task before, but is unwilling now. To the parent who might enforce the request instead of stop and "fill the tank," he states, "If the reason for your child's behavior was legitimate, then you would be the one who should be punished for forcing him or her to perform the task."



Now, this sounds a bit extreme to me. First, there are times when children behave badly because of something that isn't Dad and Mom's fault. We should most certainly nurture our children emotionally, but not cater to each and every bad mood the child has. As the parent we are in charge and at times have every right to expect cooperation whether the child's tank is "full" or not. As an adult I have responsibilities to fulfill and people to submit to whether my tank is full or not. Am I really doing my child a favor to expect nothing from him if he is not feeling 100% full and happy? Do I want to teach a 10 or even 5 year old to expect the world to stop right there and fix it every single time he's unhappy? This takes a basically good teaching to an unrealistic extreme.



But, get the book for its good points - most Christian parent books don't state the nurture aspect as well.

This book helps you in a way that doesnt make you feel stupid for not doing all of these things before. This book is as loving and understanding to the parent as it is to the child. Very practical simple things that you can do right away to start treating your children like people and friends and teaching them in a way that Jesus would teach you.I thank God for this book.

I've read many parenting books in conjunction with teaching natural childbirth education, but until this book was loaned to me by a good friend and mentor, everthying I had read until then was just surface reading. After reading Dr. Campbell's book, I realized that anything else I had read really didn't make sense without the basic foundation offered by Dr. Campbell. Now, having the foundation, I can use the other books (Nelson, Dobson, Sears) more effectively. The impact it has had on my being a parent is priceless. Both my husband and I saw immediate results and have been more fulfilled as parents. Thank you, Dr. Campbell.

This book tells, in a straight forward manner, how to "read" your teenager; what they are trying to say through their body language and small "clues" they give to try and signal their needs, fears, and desires. You can tell that the author is not merely a father - but a dad. I have recomended it to numerous people and all of them have found it invaluable. I have read and re-read it over and over. It is THE book to get if you are trying to "figure out" where your teenager is coming from, and how you can span the large gulf that separates parents and teens.