Really, Really, Really, Really Weird Stories [Paperback]

John Shirley (Author), Alan M. Clark (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 1999

John Shirley takes us on a journey from the mildly bizarre to the downright weird and then some in this, his latest collection of short fiction. The book incorporates some of Shirley's classic stories along with some revised and hard to find material and is highlighted by nine never before published works. A must have for the Shirley reader or collector. Includes art work by Alan M. Clark. "The 37 stories in this mind-shaking collection are grouped into four sections of ascending weirdness, from Really Weird to Really, Really, Really, Really Weird. Considering that the first entry, I Want to Get Married, Says the Worlds Smallest Man, concerns a 28"-tall midget who weds a full-size, crack-smoking whore, to brutal effect, readers may rest assured that an unforgettable trip awaits them from cover to cover. But weirdness per se doesnt seem to be Shirleys aim, except insofar as outr subject matter (as in Skeeter Junkie, wherein the mind of a heroin addict enters the body of a mosquito) or prose style (e.g., the sentences of the potent and moving Ten Things to be Grateful For, as long and sinuous as anacondas) can wrench readers from their habitual frame of reference to experience the world afresh. The author of last years Black Butterflies demonstrates throughout a fecund imagination, wicked sense of humor and thematic seriousnessregarding the malleability of reality, the hellishness of drug abuse, the fragility of human constructthat render these tales as profound as they are sensational. Selected from 26 years of output, ranging from SF to dark fantasy to crime, drawn from books, magazines and a Web site (and with 10 entries never before published), the collection isnt all aces. But the majority of stories are, making this another virtuoso offering from a writer whose daring and originality continue to astonish." - Publishers Weekly Contents: * The Author Wants to Tell You... (Introduction) * REALLY WEIRD STORIES o "I Want to Get Married!" Says World's Smallest Man o Will the Chill o Tapes 12, 14, 15, 22 and 23 o Don't Be Afraid o Lot Five, Building Seven, Door Twenty-Three o Kindred Spirits o The Word "Random", Deliberately Repeated o Voices o The Last Ride * REALLY, REALLY, WEIRD STORIES o ...And the Angel with Television Eyes o The Sweet Caress of Mother Nature o In the Cornelius Arms o Quill Tripstickler Out the Window [*Quill Tripstickler] o I Live in Elizabeth o Morons at the Speed of Light o Silent Crickets o Screens o Brittany? Oh: She's in Translucent Blue o Ticket to Heaven * REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, WEIRD STORIES o Ash o Triggering o When Enter Came o Skeeter Junkie o What Joy! What Fulfillment! o 199619971998 o Preach o Preach: Part Two: The Apocalypse of the Reverend John Shirley o Modern Transmutations of the Alchemist * REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, WEIRD STORIES o Just Like Suzie o Cold Feet o The Peculiar Happiness of Professor Cort o Tahiti in Terms of Squares o Equilibrium o What Cindy Saw o The Almost Empty Rooms o Ten Things to Be Grateful For o The Sea Was Wet As Wet Could Be

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The 37 stories in this mind-shaking collection are grouped into four sections of ascending weirdness, from Really Weird to Really, Really, Really, Really Weird. Considering that the first entry, I Want to Get Married, Says the Worlds Smallest Man, concerns a 28"-tall midget who weds a full-size, crack-smoking whore, to brutal effect, readers may rest assured that an unforgettable trip awaits them from cover to cover. But weirdness per se doesnt seem to be Shirleys aim, except insofar as outr subject matter (as in Skeeter Junkie, wherein the mind of a heroin addict enters the body of a mosquito) or prose style (e.g., the sentences of the potent and moving Ten Things to be Grateful For, as long and sinuous as anacondas) can wrench readers from their habitual frame of reference to experience the world afresh. The author of last years Black Butterflies demonstrates throughout a fecund imagination, wicked sense of humor and thematic seriousnessregarding the malleability of reality, the hellishness of drug abuse, the fragility of human constructthat render these tales as profound as they are sensational. Selected from 26 years of output, ranging from SF to dark fantasy to crime, drawn from books, magazines and a Web site (and with 10 entries never before published), the collection isnt all aces. But the majority of stories are, making this another virtuoso offering from a writer whose daring and originality continue to astonish. (May) FYI: Shirley has been nominated for two 1998 Bram Stoker Awards, for Long Fiction (What Would You Do for Love?) and Fiction Collection (Black Butterflies).

Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Paperback: 400 pages
• Publisher: Night Shade Books; 1 edition (March 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1892389029
• ISBN-13: 978-1892389022
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,749,225 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars 37 by Shirley: Too Much of Good Stuff? Hardly!, August 20, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Really, Really, Really, Really Weird Stories (Paperback)

For a long-time fan of John Shirley, this collection of 37 (CountÕem -- thirty seven!) stories by one of the most imaginative science fiction/horror writers working today is a deal just too good to be true. In this collection you will find stories of every imaginable stripe, from urban paranoid fantasy to cosmic science fiction to magic realism to deliriously sensual prose poetry to just flat-out unclassifiable weirdness; from the galactic gamesters who throw planets as if they were bowling balls, to a metal griffin and a Virgin Mary made out of beach ball rubber, to Dracula who consumes his victims by squeezing them like lemons, to a bioengineered room which, to its ownerÕs chagrin, harbors a reincarnated soul of a murder victim ... all written in a style altogether ShirleyÕs own; pulverizing and devastating in its candor, precision and black, deathly black, humor, yet somehow simultaneously lyrical, compassionate and deeply spiritual. He takes no bullshit, he takes no prisoners. As a collective edition, BLACK BUTTERFLIES or HEATSEEKER perhaps packs greater punches, but I heartily recommend the present volume to any newcomer to John Shirely.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars What a collection!, August 11, 2001

By 

Fosky Bob "human" (Vacaville, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Really, Really, Really, Really Weird Stories (Paperback)

This was my first John Shirley experience. It has left me both eager and afraid to track down more of his work. I'm eager to read more Shirley because he is master of stories. He can write in any genre. His stories are fascinating. I like them. I'm afraid to read more Shirley because the stories are so engrossing that I lose track of time. That, and the fact, that many of his stories are quite disturbing.

As other reviewers have noted, this collection is not made up of all winners. In any collection of nearly 40 stories, there will be some poorer stories. While this collection does not have any bad stories, there are several short vignettes that perhaps should have been left out of this collection.

Several of the stories in this collection left me reeling. 'Lot Five...' is a marvelous story that really defies description. There are several acolytes of a cult-like leader who are attempting to wend their way through a maze of doors, hallways, and security guards to reach the guru. I loved this story. It was weird and horrific at the same time.

Another of my favorites was '...And the Angel with Television Eyes', a story about a tele-screen actor who's been plagued with bizarre dreams. He wakes one morning to find an iron griffin on his balcony. The griffin tells him that he's being summoned by some sort of ethereal lords. Before the actor can act on the summons he's kidnapped by hideous harpies and taken to a rooftop balcony where a metal man, Lord Thanatos, tells him that the griffin is attempting to trick the actor. A large battle ensues in which the actor learns of his true identity and the large mystery behind the events of his morning. I am excited to hear that Mr. Shirley has recently completed a novel expansion of this story, due in 2002.

As the title of the collection indicates, many of the stories in this collection are very weird. In fact, the stories are organized by their weirdness. The first section is Really Weird Stories. The second is Really, Really Weird Stories...and so on.

Those of us who love weird fiction, and you know who you are, should pick up this collection. It's full of great weirdness. I should point out that many of the stories in this collection contain explicit sexual content, so if that's not your thing, stay away. On the whole, I found this collection to be a mind-blowing trip through the works of a brilliant author, John Shirley. Immediately after finishing this book, I jumped online and ordered several other Shirley titles. I fully expect to enjoy them as much as I did this one. Recommended.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Multi genre collection from horror, sci-fi, fantasy, and splatter, January 27, 2007

By 

Schtinky "Schtinky" (California) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Really, Really, Really, Really Weird Stories (Paperback)

The most astonishing detail of this book is that, out of all the stories available, two stand out so startlingly clever that the two alone gave me cause to raise my rating by one star. 'Skeeter Junkie' is a fascinating tale of a heroin addict's transformation into the body of a mosquito. 'Ten Things To Be Grateful For' is one of the most hard-impacting shorts I've read in a long time. "Be thankful, because this could be you", Shirley warns, as he covers being beaten and having your spine pulled apart, being sold as a child to a $ex factory, being a multiple diabetes amputee ignored by health care, and other equally heinous scenarios.

Here's the lineup:

Really Weird Stories:
1) "I Want To Get Married" Says The Worlds Smallest Man
2) Will The Chill
3) Tapes 12, 14, 15, 22, And 23
4) Don't Be Afraid
5) Lot Five, Building Seven, Door Twenty Three
6) Kindred
7) The Word "Random," Deliberately Repeated
8) Voices
9) The Last Ride

Really Really Weird Stories:
1) ... And The Angel With Television Eyes
2) The Sweet Caress Of Mother Nature
3) In The Cornelius Arms
4) Quill Tripstickler, Out The Window
5) I Live In Elizabeth
6) Morons At The Speed Of Light
7) Silent Crickets
8) Screens
9) Brittany? Oh: She's In Translucent Blue
10) Ticket To Heaven

Really Really Really Weird Stories:
1) Ash
2) Triggering
3) When Enter Came
4) Skeeter Junkie
5) What Joy! What Fulfillment!
6) 199619971998
7) Preach
8) Preach: Part Two: The Apocalypse Of The Reverend John Shirley
9) Modern Transmutations Of The Alchemist

Really Really Really Really Weird Stories:
1) Just Like Suzie
2) Cold Feet
3) The Peculiar Happiness Of Professor Cort
4) Tahiti In Terms Of Squares
5) Equilibrium
6) What Cindy Saw
7) The Almost Empty Rooms
8) Ten Things To Be Grateful For
9) The Sea Was Wet As Wet Could Be


There are more than just two good stories in this collection, but many of them were simply too disjointed for me to relate to, and I'm a Shirley fan. This is Shirley's most comprehensive collection, comprised of shorts and some flash fiction.

Some other talented pieces are "I Want To Get Married" Says World's Smallest Man, a tragically doomed marriage. 'Lot Five, Building Seven, Door Twenty-Three' is an excellent vampire tale, with one of the most unique and grotesque vampires. '...And The Angels With Television Eyes' has a shudderingly well described Metal Man. 'Sweet Caress' is a nice kitty tale, and 'In The Cornelius Arms' is a great tale of goth culture.
In 'Ash', a criminal runs the streets, insane from the Yoruba inflicted revenge for his crime. 'Just Like Suzie' is probably the grossest of the tales, and worth a drippy mention. Ending the collection is the flash fiction piece 'The Sea Was Wet As Wet Could Be', a haunting tale of expansive demise.

If you're a first time reader of John Shirley's short fiction, I'd have to recommend 'Black Butterflies' over this collection. Some of these tales seemed to border on unintelligible rather than just weird.

Thanks to Alan M. Clark, there's some nice cover and a few pieces of very bizarre interior art that add to the flavor of the book. Pick this up if you're a Shirley fan, or just a fan of 'way out there on the edge' bizarre tales. Enjoy!