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Rebecca [Kindle Edition]

Adam J Nicolai
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (211 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $12.99
Kindle Price: $2.99
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Book Description

Sarah threw her life away for God.

When she realized she had feelings for her best friend, Sarah drove her off. To prove she wasn't gay, Sarah slept with a boy from school. When she got pregnant, she surrendered an acceptance to Yale in order to keep her daughter, Rebecca.

Finally, God's messenger tells her she's proven her virtue. She can have her life back the way it was.

In return, she only needs to kill her baby.

Rebecca is a terrifying descent into the maze of one young woman's beliefs, a labyrinth of self-hate and religious abuse which asks the same question at every turn:

What would you do for your God?

Editorial Reviews

From the Author

Dear Voracious Reader: 

Thanks for considering Rebecca.  Before you decide whether or not to read it, I'd like to set the record straight on a few things you may have heard about the book.

I did not write Rebecca to make a statement about Christianity, and I did not write Rebecca to promote the "gay agenda," to whatever extent such a thing even exists.

I wrote Rebecca to immerse myself in a viewpoint I've never experienced.  I wrote it so that other people like myself could maybe experience the same thing, and so that people who identify with the protagonist can realize they are not alone.  

Rebecca involves a lesbian main character, going through a very difficult time in her life.  

If that sentence sounds familiar or makes you uncomfortable, I wrote Rebecca for you.

- Adam J Nicolai

About the Author

Adam J Nicolai lives near Minneapolis, MN with his wife, Joy, and their two children, Isaac and Rydia. He is a life-long nerd, game lover, author, Star Wars fan, Dungeon Master, and amateur game designer, as well as a former project manager and policy debate coach.

His first novel, Alex, was extremely well-received, hitting #13 on the Kindle Horror Bestseller list and #1 in Ghost Horror. It was also the top-rated novel by customer review for several months in Horror, Thriller, and Suspense, and peaked at #3 top-rated in overall Kindle Fiction.

His second novel, Rebecca, is now available exclusively through Amazon.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1487 KB
  • Print Length: 301 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1481996096
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Lone Road Publishing, LLC (January 7, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00AYA192E
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #322,836 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

Customer Reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
4.2 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Gold Star May 24, 2013
By Steven
Format:Kindle Edition
This was hard to get into initially. It's a perspective I am not familiar with in any way, similar to The Average American Male by Chad Kultgen, but instead of a straight male it was a repressed lesbian. Her struggle was very accurate in regards to strong religious upbringing but at the same time dynamic in that she was already dealing with her future forever changed. I would definitely consider this a horror novel in a Shirley Jackson-ish respect, events and dialogues that can be easily conveyed as rhetoric of the mentally ill but at that same time have enough weight to be otherworldly or sinister. I think Adam J Nicolai should get a lot more credit for being a man and trying to flesh out the story arc from this perspective. I feel he was successful but again I'm a gay male and its not my place to say it's accurate. However, I felt it was truly jarring. I heartily recommend this to anyone who loves slow building horror, vividly descriptive journeys through a mind during duress, or simply a story about the varieties of unconventional love that exist today.
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21 of 24 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Page Turner February 19, 2013
By reader
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Due to the visceral reaction I had to Alex, a book that truly tore at this mother's heart, I expected the some emotional connection to Rebecca's protagonist. I wasn't, however, prepared to find that this independent author nailed the experience of an exhausted mother of an infant. Rebecca speaks the unspoken thoughts born of exhaustion and frustration. Like Alex, I was unable to put Rebecca down until I finished it.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down... May 8, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Wow. What an emotional story. The author nailed it on the head with his descriptions of the feelings a new, very inexperienced young mother might have. Honestly, how a MAN was able to do this is a mystery to me,, this is a very talented author! While I never had that degree of negative thoughts when I was a new Mom, I could 100% relate to the raw emotion portrayed,, the exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed, the pain of nursing,, I was drawn in from page 1 until the very end. Bravo... Keep writing Mr. Nicolai, you have a new fan.
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20 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Emotional and Powerful January 18, 2013
By Aja
Format:Kindle Edition
I found Rebecca to be a pretty emotional story. The feelings you experience as you read the thoughts of Sarah, an unprepared young mother, are intense. You're disturbed, worried, angry, scared... but then become hopeful and happy as new life emerges.

I was drawn in within the first few minutes of reading, just as I was with the author's first book, Alex. Another beautifully written story, and one that I'd definitely recommend!
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it June 20, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
I couldn't put this down. I related to this book so much because my family raised me as a Jehovah's Witness. I left when I was 15. The way the author describes the thoughts Sarah had in the beginning hit very close to home for me because I suffered from postpartum depression when I had my first child. I really liked how descriptive and honest this book was. Props to the author. Definitely read this.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A revealing look at the damage bigotry does to people September 14, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Just read the negative reviews on this book and you will see why the author wrote it. The bigotry that exists out there against homosexuals is an issue that must be dealt with honestly. This book does that. For those who say he was "hard on" the church, I tell you that he was NOT. I live in the Bible Belt and the opinions/words expressed by the preacher and Sarah's mother are commonplace. Homosexuals are outcast; labeled as sinners going to hell unless they "fight temptation". The emotional damage this does to young adults is evidenced by the number of gay teen suicides we see all the time now. And the gay bullying on social media sites that is so commonplace.

I know that a lot of readers found it hard to read Sarah's story in the beginning. But that is sometimes the true face of motherhood. It isn't always a Hallmark Card moment. Sarah has a baby that she felt emotionally pressured to have from a boy she didn't even like, all so she could appear to be "normal" to her family, friends and church. It's disgusting that our gay youth is treated this way in real life, and not just fiction.

The Messenger put a lot of people off. But he was NOT some supernatural demon who possessed her. Nonsense. They totally missed the point. He was all of the bigoted voices of the world put together inside of her mind. Everything she'd heard spoken about her, all the hate she'd experienced up to that point, evolved into this dark voice that constantly tried to put her down and make her fail. Did Sarah need therapy? Yes. So did her mother and especially the pastor. He didn't love his church members. He judged them. If you think this doesn't happen in churches then you need to pull your head out of the sand.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Intense read! June 5, 2013
By Indalo
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I was wowed by this one. The plot kept me on the edge of my seat, the main character seemed so real, and the ending was satisfying.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars There is nothing like a mothers love August 30, 2013
By djpayn
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Rebecca was a bit of a difficult read for me. So much so that after i finished I wrote the author to share my opinion. It is a story about a mothers love and the sacrifices she is willing to make (or not make) for her child. It is also a story about hate - and thats the subject that hurts. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to read a good book that has painful issues and redemption at its core.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars The Truth???
This book has NO place under the subject of Christian novels as the writing depicts a warped view of true Christianity and appears to misrepresent what the real message is... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Elizabeth
5.0 out of 5 stars Read it in one day!
I couldn't put this one down. It was full of emotion. It was frightening in some parts and tender in others. It is definitely one book to put on your list.
Published 1 month ago by catina werry
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
Very good story. I couldn't put it down. Nothing like any other book I have read. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
Published 2 months ago by Tamsyn
5.0 out of 5 stars A slightly chilling but extremely well-written tale.
For an extended review of this book and more, please visit

Let me start by saying that this book obviously covers some pretty... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Brittany Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars Every page grabbed me
Excellent!! Five plus stars! Could not put my kindle down. Every page grabbed me and held me through the entire book!
Published 4 months ago by Shanna Traub
3.0 out of 5 stars conflicts not resolved
The book presented internal conflicts of a young woman coming to terms with her sexuality
The external conflicts were never really resolved
Published 5 months ago by Nancy Rizzo
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!
Rebecca was spot on, as a mother and lesbian who had struggles "coming out" this book really hit home. Read more
Published 5 months ago by JJK1163
3.0 out of 5 stars Slow Moving!
I found this book to be moving at a snails pace. The story line was interesting and it seemed to be headed for an interesting read but I was disappointed. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Toni Guida
5.0 out of 5 stars couldn't put it down!
I loved this. I really related to her loneliness and fear as a single mother. My only complaint? Not long enough!
Published 7 months ago by RachelEhrhart
5.0 out of 5 stars INCREDIBLY WELL-WRITTEN!
This is the first book by Adam Nicolai I’ve read, but it definitely won’t be the last. Lately I haven’t been reading many self-published books as the majority of the ones I’ve read... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Books4Tomorrow
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More About the Author

Hi. My name is Adam J Nicolai.

I write novels that come from the fear I feel everyday, the wild hopes that drive me, and the things I wish were true. My writing may have swearing. It may deal with uncomfortable topics. It may go to places none of us want to visit. The problem is, in our nightmares and daydreams, while driving or showering or sleeping, we all visit these places anyway.

I write so we don't have to visit them alone.

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