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Rebuilding: When your relationship ends Paperback – January 1, 1981


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 205 pages
  • Publisher: Impact Publishers; 2nd printing edition (1981)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0915166305
  • ISBN-13: 978-0915166305
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,264,810 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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This is a summary but so helpful I am purchasing the book.
tootsiebamboo
This is an excellent book for those people who are going through a breakup.
Kathy E. Brou
An excellent book to help healing after the breakup of a relationship.
Walter Marciniak

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 28, 2003
Format: Paperback
This is by far the best book I've found about dealing with the pain and trauma of a relationship that has ended. It lays out nineteen stages that you're likely to go through, from denial and fear, through loneliness and rejection/guilt (including a discussion of the differences between being dumped and dumping), grief, anger, and then to the more positive stages of letting go, refinding one's self-worth, becoming more open, loving, trusting and finally finding purpose freedom.
The book is based on years of experience in seminars for divorcees, and there are lots of examples that are well explained and discussed. There are also specific "assignments" for each stage. For instance, there are specific strategies for dealing with fear and anger, and these are very concrete and helpful.
The book also suggests that "growing relationships" can be helpful while working through the aftermath of a serious relationship. Growing relationships can be friendships or sexual relationships, but the point is that they are open, honest, and that a main goal in the relationship is that the partners learn about themselves and each other here and now rather than building a long-term committed and stable relationship. I found it interesting to read about the differences between such a relationship and a conventional, committed, long-term stable relationship. It also freed me from thinking that I should immediately see any new relationship as a committed long-term relationship. There are other kinds too, and many of the authors' insights about growing relationships would also be useful in a long-term, committed relationship.
Each chapter has a section about children's responses to their parents breaking up, in the stage the parents are in, and finally there's an appendix about how to have a healing separation, which is like a trial separation except both parties commit to working constructively towards their personal growth and their coming together again as a couple.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 23, 1999
Format: Paperback
FIVE STARS +++ - Reading this book will help you more fully understand your feelings following the loss of someone you love. This is absolutely the most helpful book to read if you have ever lost someone by divorce or death. While reading it, I felt that Dr. Fisher had been hiding in my house and taking notes. I experienced every emotion possible for someone who has experienced the loss of someone they love. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 26, 1999
Format: Paperback
As someone trying to get over a seven-year relationship back in 1994, this book was my savior. I needed to understand why I felt what I felt. This book allowed me to understand the mix of emotions and turmoil I was going through. And contrary to other books offering more creative approaches, Bruce Fisher's actually explains the complex psychological process of grief, loss and recovery. I still read it today to understand other's feelings and reactions and to better manage my current relationships. A must.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on October 19, 1999
Format: Paperback
my husband and i used this book in the midst of our separation, to do a more structured separation with some groundrules and such...and it helped us reunite much more strongly than we had ever been! So it isnt even just for divorcing couples, although it is helpful there also.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 22, 2002
Format: Paperback
This book helped me immensely when I went through my divorce. It captures the very essence of the emotional chaos one experiences and provides one with a way to measure progress. This book is not just for divorcing people, I find it incredibly helpful anytime one goes through a breakup. It helps keep me sane ;-)
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Ray Acosta on February 15, 1998
Format: Paperback
I'd recommend this book if you are going through the pains of a lost love, esp, where it was not your idea to end it. Perhaps nothing but time can really help, but I found it helpful to understand the process I had to go through, and the book some what of a comfort.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 11, 1998
Format: Paperback
This book explained every emotion that I went through during my separation. If it wasn't for this book, I would have experienced a much longer and more damaging recovery. It also lets you know the emotions of what the other person is going through. If you have a broken heart and want to get through the pain in the most proactive way, believe me, read this book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 12, 1998
Format: Paperback
As a custody evaluator, this is mandatory reading for parents in my program. I suggest to one and all. Not only does it give a reality check as to where you are but also where your lost love might be and why they are acting that way. A very few dollars well spent and your friends will appreciate not haveing to hear about it anymore!
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