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Recovering from the War: A Guide for All Veterans, Family Members, Friends and Therapists [Paperback]

Patience H. C. Mason , Robert Mason
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 10, 1998 1892220075 978-1892220073
A book every veteran will want to give his or her spouse, and every spouse will want to give his or her veteran.
Recovering from the War is a systematic investigation of the costs of war for veterans and their families, including information on how to recover from combat trauma. The examples are from Vietnam, but the experience is universal, so the book is helpful to active duty service members.
Part One, Vietnam: What it was, consists of a series of chapters containing interviews with Vietnam veterans: Who Went, In the Rear, In the Pipeline and Forward Bases, Going Forth: Aviation and Mechanized Combat, In the Field, and Back in the World. Each chapter covers one type of Vietnam experience, followed by questions to help the reader understand what veterans go through. The details are from Vietnam but the experiences are universal, applicable to any war where the enemy can't be easily identified and anyone can kill you.
Part Two, The Aftereffects, begins with "What's So Different About Vietnam", a guerilla war with no front line and no way to identify the enemy, conditions which apply to Iraq and Afghanistan. The next chapter, "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder,"  contains a clear discussion of the symptoms of PTSD along with suggestions for beginning to get help. "Our Problems" finishes the section and discusses how PTSD impacts the family.
Part Three, Help Yourself has three chapters, First Aid, Listening, and Changing. These are designed to put your feet on the path that will lead to your recovery, whether you are a family member, friend or veteran. They contain a lot of personal experiences.
There is a list of sources, suggested further reading, other sources of help, guidelines for a 12 step group for families of veterans and an index.

" I am reading your book right now. I picked it up in Kuwait coming back from leave. It has been very good ... I have learned a lot. I just want to say this book of yours is just awsome it brings tears to my eyes as I write this to you. I wish I had it long time ago. I have to tell you that I truly believe as a kid of a vet that we, ourself, end up with ptsd. I act so much like my father it is scary." -Iraq "IED hunter" combat engineer.

"I am writing because I recently read your book, and it brought to light a few areas that were lacking in my Family Readiness Group discussions and re-integration training. My platoon leaders and platoon sergeants have all read the book, and (against copyright laws, sorry) we have photocopied appropriate excerpts for all soldiers to read. I have 26 of 100 soldiers still married (deployed at 38 of 100, 2nd deployments are tough on young couples) and I plan on personally buying each of them a copy of your book and mailing it to the spouse before we re-deploy.  Thank you so much for your help".-T R, Captain, writing from Iraq.

Learn what your veterans faced, the normal effects of war, how Post-traumatic reactions affect families, and how to get better.

Frequently Bought Together

Recovering from the War: A Guide for All Veterans, Family Members, Friends and Therapists + Vietnam Wives: Facing the Challenges of Life With Veterans Suffering Post-Traumatic Stress + Once a Warrior--Always a Warrior: Navigating the Transition from Combat to Home--Including Combat Stress, PTSD, and mTBI
Price for all three: $56.51

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 444 pages
  • Publisher: Patience Press (May 10, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1892220075
  • ISBN-13: 978-1892220073
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #156,395 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I was born in 1943 in Boston daughter of John J. Cincotti, MD and Constance Hartwell, MD. My Dad went overseas a month after I was born. I remember my sister Vickie and me being dressed up and running down the sidewalk to meet him when he came home in 1945. I went off the the University of Pennsylvania to become and anthropologist, but dropped out of that to be an English major. Met my husband, Robert Mason, when he came to visit my then boyfriend. Loved him the minute I saw him. When he came back a year later, I was free and we got attached to each other, so attached that I dropped out of school and got married and moved to Florida. He went into the Army rather than get drafted, and learned to fly helicopters. We had a month in Alexandria VA as a family with our son Jack, and then he went to Vietnam on a boat, the start of Americans fighting the Vietnam War.

He spent the second year of our marriage (1965-66) flying a Huey slick in the First Cavalry Division and the 48th Aviation Company in Vietnam. His book, Chickenhawk, tells the story of that year. When he got back, I saw how skinny he was, but I was so glad to have him back, I didn't notice the thousand yard stare. I had no idea what he had been through. I was just so glad he was alive. Neither of us had any idea that the war was, quite naturally and normally, going to affect both of us for the rest of our lives. We didn't know any of what you will read on my site (http://www.patiencepress.com) or in my books and pamphlets. They told Bob he would be fine in a few weeks. When he wasn't, he thought he was nuts.

Bob's memoirs, Chickenhawk and Chickenhawk: Back In The World and my book, Recovering from the War, describe how we lived with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder when it didn't have a name and wasn't supposed to exist. We lived with PTSD for 14 years during which I thought I was a bad wife, or he would not be having problems. Quite often he agreed. He also thought he was crazy. I couldn't make him happy even though I thought I should be able to. We did not associate any of it with Vietnam. Our life was difficult until we found out about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. We still deal with it, but today our dealings are informed, which makes things easier. We are up to 47 years of marriage now and are really happy.

I give talks about PTSD at VA's, Vet Centers, reunions and any place I can. I've written two books for children about PTSD, several pamphlets that VA's use for patient education, and for seven years I wrote The Post-Traumatic Gazette, all of which is available on Amazon or on my website, where there are a lot of free articles you can download.

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
(18)
4.9 out of 5 stars
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If you are at all curious about this time period, read this book. Sharon Sherman  |  4 reviewers made a similar statement
I have also read Chickenhawk by Patience Masons' husband. beverly  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm not alone! March 5, 2002
Format:Paperback
This book is an excellent counseling tool for the spouses of combat veterans who live with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have given this book the many spouses. Many say that the greatest thing the book does for them is help to show that they are not alone in their experience with the veteran PTSD sufferer. Patience Mason gives the spouse an understanding of what is going on that leads to a sense of comfort and the courage to continue the battle. The battle, is to find a way to stay with their vet and at the same time preserve their own sanity. This is the best book out there for contents and ease of reading!
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hooray! RECOVERING FROM THE WAR is back in print! December 11, 1998
Format:Paperback
I am officially an "expert" in combat PTSD with all sorts of fancy letters after my name, and I can say that Patience Mason's RECOVERING FROM THE WAR and Aphrodite Matsakis's VIETNAM WIVES [also available from Amazon.com] do more good than a planeload of folks like me. Nobody should have to go through it alone--not the veteran, not his or her spouse, not their children, parents, friends, employers, therapists. Healing (and protection against secondary traumatic stress) happens only in community--at least that's what I conclude from 11 years working with veterans. Both of these books are useful to not only their main audience, the veteran's spouse, but to veterans themselves and anyone else who wants to make their hearts wiser and their understanding deeper. I recommend these books frequently, and for years they were hard to find.

Identifying information on reviewer:

Jonathan Shay, M.D., Ph.D. is a psychiatrist whose only patients are Vietnam combat veterans in the Boston VA Outpatient Clinic. He is author of _Achilles in Vietnam: Combat Trauma and the Undoing of Character_ (available from Amazon.com)

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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Patience's book should be a text book for all Psychology curriculums in colleges and universities. Her knowledge and understanding of PTSD is vast. She expresses her empathy and understanding for veterans with PTSD, their friends and families and this is evident in her book. Her understanding of what families and friends also experience is "right there." I recently completed my Masters in Clinical Psychology and studied much about PTSD but no textbook, lecture or class taught me as much about PTSD as Patience's book. I also spent 3 years in Vietnam during the war as a civilian woman and have a great respect for veterans and their families and PTSD is of great interest to me. For any professor or teacher teaching about trauma, this book should be on your list of required reading for your students. A dynamic book!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars An Important Book for Vietnam Veterans, Wives and Families.
As a combat infantry veteran (aka "Grunt") of the Vietnam War (1st Cavalry Airmobile 1968-1969), I have since believed the infantry soldier's experiences in Vietnam were the most... Read more
Published 4 months ago by David B. Simmons
5.0 out of 5 stars Realistic, compassionate, and helpful
I had PTSD back in 1989, a decade before this book was written. It would have been a huge blessing to my life back then. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Mr. Twenty Twenty
5.0 out of 5 stars The Rest of the Story
When I read a book, I like to sit in a comfy spot, put my legs up, and disappear into the plot. But then, I usually read fiction.

Patience Mason's book is a documentary. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Sharon Sherman
5.0 out of 5 stars Recovering from the War
I wish I had this book many years ago. I have PTSD, diagnosed in 1994, some 26 years after my second tour in Vietnam and this book was extremely helpful not only to myself, but... Read more
Published 19 months ago by David L. Leatherman
5.0 out of 5 stars REQUIRED READING
This is a MUST READ FOR EVERYONE, NOT JUST MILITARY FAMILIES ! Most Civilians have no idea what our Soldiers live through each day. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Sazz
4.0 out of 5 stars helpful
My husband can relate to so much of this book, he is still reading it, but he tells me daily of the things he can relate to.
Published on June 27, 2010 by W. Land
5.0 out of 5 stars Recovering from the War
As a wife of a Vietnam Veteran it has been difficult to understand what my husband has gone through. Read more
Published on November 10, 2009 by Christine A. Dunn
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent for OIF/OEF Veterans and their Significant Others Too
As an OIF Veteran significant other, I want to really make people understand how timeless this book is. It helped me more than just about anything else. Read more
Published on February 26, 2009 by A Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is the best!
This book was so helpful to me... I keep buying it and giving it away! It is the best book I have read on coping with PTSD, and I have read them all. Read more
Published on July 23, 2002 by Cynthia L. Pratt
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that really helps
Patience has been able to visualize and understand the realities of what has happened to the Vets who served in Vietnam, either directly or indirectly. Read more
Published on March 5, 2002
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