A book every veteran will want to give his or her spouse, and every spouse will want to give his or her veteran. A systematic investigation of the costs of war for active duty service members, veterans and their families, including information on how to recover from combat trauma. The examples are from Vietnam, but the experience is universal: I am reading your book right now. I picked it up in Kuwait coming back from leave. It has been very good ... I have learned a lot. I just want to say this book of yours is just awsome it brings tears to my eyes as I write this to you. I wish I had it long time ago. I have to tell you that I truly believe as a kid of a vet that we, ourself, end up with ptsd. I act so much like my father it is scary. -Iraq "IED hunter" combat engineer. I am writing because I recently read your book, and it brought to light a few areas that were lacking in my Family Readiness Group discussions and re-integration training. My platoon leaders and platoon sergeants have all read the book, and (against copyright laws, sorry) we have photocopied appropriate excerpts for all soldiers to read. I have 26 of 100 soldiers still married (deployed at 38 of 100, 2nd deployments are tough on young couples) and I plan on personally buying each of them a copy of your book and mailing it to the spouse before we re-deploy. Thank you so much for your help.-T R, Captain, writing from Iraq. Learn what your veterans faced, the normal effects of war, how Post-traumatic reactions affect families, and how to get better.
I was born in 1943 at the Boston Lying-In Hospital, second daughter of John J. Cincotti, MD and Constance Hartwell, MD. My Dad went overseas a month after I was born and I remember my sister Vickie and I being dressed up and running down the sidewalk to meet him when he came home in 1945. We soon moved to the VA Hospital in Rutland, MA, where my Dad was chief surgeon, my Mum stayed home and had two boys and we all ran around a played with a bunch of other doctors' kids.
We moved to the Brooklyn VA when I was in the fourth grade, then to Albany NY when I was in 8th grade. Switched schools a lot. When I graduated I went off the the University of Pennsylvania to become and anthropologist, but dropped out of that to be an English major. Met my husband, Robert Mason, when he came to visit my then boyfriend. Loved him the minute I saw him. When he came back a year later, I was free and we got attached to each other, so attached that I dropped out of school and got married and moved to Florida. He went into the Army rather than get drafted, and learned to fly helicopters. We had a month in Alexandria VA as a family with our son Jack, and then he went to Vietnam on a boat, the start of Americans fighting the Vietnam War.
He spent the second year of our marriage (1965-66) flying a Huey slick in the First Cavalry Division and the 48th Aviation Company in Vietnam. His book, Chickenhawk, tells the story of that year. When he got back, I saw how skinny he was, but I was so glad to have him back, I didn't notice the thousand yard stare. I had no idea what he had been through. I was just so glad he was alive. Neither of us had any idea that the war was, quite naturally and normally, going to affect both of us for the rest of our lives. We didn't know any of what you will read on my site (http://www.patiencepress.com) or in my books and pamphlets. They told Bob he would be fine in a few weeks. When he wasn't, he thought he was nuts.
Bob's memoirs, Chickenhawk and Chickenhawk: Back In The World and my book, Recovering from the War, describe how we lived with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder when it didn't have a name and wasn't supposed to exist. We lived with PTSD for 14 years during which I thought I was a bad wife, or he would not be having problems. Quite often he agreed. He also thought he was crazy. I couldn't make him happy even though I thought I should be able to. We did not associate any of it with Vietnam. Our life was difficult until we found out about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. We still deal with it, but today our dealings are informed, which makes things easier. We are up to 47 years of marriage now and are really happy.
I give talks about PTSD at VA's, Vet Centers, reunions and any place I can. I've written two books for children about PTSD, several pamphlets that VA's use for patient education, and for seven years I wrote The Post-Traumatic Gazette, all of which is available on Amazon or on my website, where there are a lot of free articles you can download.
