Customer Reviews

Rectuma

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I have seen two other Mark Pirro movies ("Polish Vampire in Burbank" from 1985, and "Deathrow Gameshow" from 1987), and despite loving spoofs and satire, never really warmed to either of them. Apparently with experience brings maturity, and I can definitely assert that "Rectuma" (2004) is the best of the three Pirro movies I have seen, believe it or not. Pirro is always good at figuring out funny concepts, but hasn't been consistent in his execution. In this movie about a rampaging rump, bizarre plot concepts mix with humorously bad acting and hilariously lame special effects that make for a modern camp classic all, no doubt, for less than the crafts services budget of the latest Leslie Nielsen movie. The movie is tasteless to be sure, but has a unique storyline that is startlingly peculiar.

The film gets off to a solid start with a long introduction that you have to read: think "Star Wars", but with decreasing font size and involving toenail-biting in the shower, rather than galactic warfare. During the opening we meet "Hi and Nee" two Asian women (Hiromi Nishiyama and Rachel Morihiro) who pop up in the most unusual places singing about Rectuma and other things. This was a great and sly reference to the original "Mothra", and I thought Hi and Nee were a brilliant touch. After the introduction, we meet Waldo Williams (Bill Devlin) and his wife Valveeta (Dani Leon) on a beach in Mexico. The couple has obvious marital discord (Valveeta keeps trying to kill Waldo so she can be with one of her boyfriends). While on the beach Waldo is violated by a very rare kind of Mexican Bullfrog, which causes him no end of problems with his rear end. He goes to see Dr. Coldstone (Ron Curtiss), a rapping proctologist, who says that his condition is too far advanced for conventional medicine, but does recommend him to Dr. Wansamsaki (Alex W. Chen) for an alternative therapy ("Treatment 16") involving the use of a nuclear rod implant. As an aside, I enjoyed the Public Service Announcement posters on Dr. Coldstone's walls. They featured a character named "Randy Rump" and my favorite was one that read "Randy Rump Says: 'Butts Smelling Like Roses Make Happier Noses'". Yes, the humor is infantile, but certainly unique.

Because Waldo does not follow Dr. Wansamsaki's advice about saltwater for moderating the nuclear reaction in his can, his posterior glows green and undergoes a fission of a wholly unnatural manner. In his sleep his frangible fanny detaches itself from his body, and starts killing off its enemies, starting with his wife and her boyfriend. The police get involved in the "Ca-Ca Killings" and Waldo is their chief suspect. You will certainly notice a policewoman channeling Jodie Foster and a hamster, and that's all I'm going to say about that. Waldo seeks professional religious help but a priest solemnly informs him that "Exorcisms aren't performed on rear ends, my son." The bottom goes AWOL because it hears and fears the sound of a rubber glove, and promptly demolishes a trailer park. The woman in the trailer park is by far the scariest cast member, including Rectuma. The tyrannical tuckus grows to enormous dimensions and begins a comical CGI destruction of downtown Los Angeles. As the rampaging rump scales the highest building in the city, the final subplots about a stinger missile filled with Mexican food and a suicide bomber seems to bring the plot to it's disgusting conclusion. The twist comes when Waldo (after a butt transplant) inadvertently unleashes "Scroton" on the city in what could be the most ridiculous sequel ever proposed in movie history. Please note Hi and Nee singing the closing song, and watch to the very end.

The film is absolutely tasteless, but you knew that as soon as you saw the title, didn't you? It's also the best effort I have seen from Mark Pirro (who also has a cameo as Dr. Rektor). While I didn't like his earlier works, "Rectuma" is so off-the-wall and has such intentionally laughably bad acting and special effects, I enjoyed this one much more than the others I have seen. I am actually looking forward to checking out some of his other movies that I have missed.

The DVD also comes with several extras, including a rather informative director commentary track, a couple of musical features about making the music for the film, a trailer, four different (!) television spots, and a feature about the theatrical premiere of "Rectuma" (the buffet dishes served are quite appetizing...my favorite was "Rectuma's Prostate Salad") where it was revealed that the theatrical screening of the film cost more than the entire budget of the movie. Really.

This film is not for everyone to be sure, but if you are a fan of camp, a fan of Mark Pirro and his eclectic and juvenile sense of humor, or just want to see a laughably bad movie with an utterly ludicrous underlying concept, "Rectuma" is worth checking out.

Dear Pirromount Productions,

I recently bought the movie Rectuma (as well as Polish Vampire and Queer- wolf).Heres what i think.

.1 Could've done with out the asian singers, i think it would have been funnier with 3 humongus black booties 'poppin at the club.(just saying)

.2 Shoulda used a real ass.

.3 The poop looked like slime. What are we at, the nickelodeon awards.Ive served my husband supper that looked a lot more like "poop".

.4 The farts were classic,makes me laugh to hear a fart.

Thanks for the laughs KATHLEEN WILSON

On arrival from Mexican holidays traveller was diagnosed with being frog-infected during an anal intercourse while drunk, no recollecting of.

Also this shot in NYC, LA and SF low budget movie beared (or vise versa) some resemblance with Bad Biology, its even much more global scale apocalyptic events are being present by a satiric way, entertaining, no much drama associated with.