Customer Reviews

Red Carpet Suicide: A Survival Guide on Keeping Up With the Hiltons

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

That is the question I have asked myself numerous times while reading this book. I admit to looking at Hilton's blog on occasion. Sometimes it's funny, other times he is just downright cruel, so at the very least I thought this book would be good for a laugh.

And well, if I am being honest it was...good for a FEW laughs. The first few chapters I chuckled over. I got a kick out of his list of different types of Hilton's (though why he included Drew Barrymore in that list I am still trying to figure out). His description of Amy Whinehouse's diet was a hoot, but then I noticed something...he was saying the same thing over and over again, only this time he included a few crudely drawn pictures to go along with his melodrama.

He seems to truly dislike women, and though he certainly shows some disdain for men, women receive the brunt of his crude attacks.

This book was a waste of time, and frankly it started to get downright nasty. His list of Mad libs is more or less ridiculing the dead.

Don't waste your time, trust me...you won't be missing a thing if you pretend like this book doesn't even exist.

I admit..I read perez' blog daily. This book however is an embarrassment. I think in about 20 years, when Perez is a bit more mature, he will say "what was I thinking?". To his credit, Perez obviously did not use a ghostwriter, as this book appears like it was written by a 15 year old. Anyone seriously considering purchasing this book would just be better off reading blog..at least that nonsense is free.

Although a bit of a book snob, I confess to a weakness for People magazine. So, I figured I'd find Red Carpet Suicide at least mildly entertaining. I was wrong. Minus the offensive illustrations (including that of a woman's nether regions), and plethora of profanity, it might be an okay read. But with so many books and so little time, I'm not sure why anyone would want to spend it reading this. According to the author, "Since the beginning of Hollywood, celebrities have ruled the world." That's an exaggeration, but celebs' opinions certainly influence their adulators more than they probably should, considering their qualifications. Mario Lavandeira's message, simply, is this, "...you can live like the rich, famous, and utterly depraved without even an ounce of talent or dignity." That is, you can become a "hilton" (a word used ad nauseam throughout the book), "a hilton is someone who is skinny, notorious, mischievous, hot, loves to party, dates a lot, acts gorgeous, drives drunk, poses seductively for the camera, rarely works, dates some more, and doesn't eat." The thing is, who really WANTS to be a hilton? Perez Hilton (his pen name) thinks you do. So, he has filled the 250 pages of this "Survival Guide on Keeping up with the Hiltons" with information on: the types of Hiltons; how to become a hilton (get skinny, drive under the influence, sell a sex tape, go to rehab, partake in plastic surgery, etc.); how much it will cost to keep up with the hiltons; "the future of hiltons;" and his own "life as a hilton" (complete with photos of Lavandeira with famous celebrities). On the bright side, the book has a nice-looking layout and a couple of funny parts. But there are way too many photos of the author (mostly, the same few shown over and over) and more profanity than is necessary, even in a Hollywood tell-all, to make this book likable. My recommendation: if you love the blog, buy the book; otherwise, skip it and stick with perusing People.

This was absolutely pathetic. With each passing page, I felt like the world was freezing over more and more. how could this guy be even as mildly D-list famous as he is?

This was a poor attempt at humor and it was so unbelievably airheaded, as it tried to be, yet it didn't have any appealing qualities the way that The Devil Wears Prada or Confessions of a Shopaholic do, even with THOSE books being equally airheaded.

I am all for picking up a comedy, "junk" book to read when you just want a break and a few laughs, but you can still do better than this book. It is filled with overused jokes about anorexia, drugs, etc. Perez might think his book is a fresh new view of hollywood, but it really just isn't. In addition, his humor often becomes quite tasteless, as he targets celebrity children and the recent deaths of celebrities.

It is obvious to me that he wrote this book to milk his 15 minutes of fame for all its worth. He really is no better than the celebrities he writes about.

Red Carpet Suicide by Perez Hilton

Trash; pure and utter diabolical trash, told with a wee bit of wit and tons of satire.
Learn the secrets of the "stars" - and then run like the wind in the other direction, all the while holding your sides from laughing at the antics of these celebutantes, "wanna be's", "has been's" and "never was". Shameless, lewd, exploitive, slightly amusing drivel about those you won't remember in the next 15 minutes; except maybe for an interesting obit in the paper upon their deaths from malnutrition or over-dosing or a sexually transmitted disease.

A humorous way to kill an hour, but I would rather you saved a tree and helped keep the world green by reading about these shameless caricatures of human beings on-line for free.
If you MUST buy this book at least do your wallet a favor and wait for the paper-back.

If Teen People magazine were dumbed down a few notches, it would still be smarter than this pamphlet . . .err. . .book.

If you're that curious about this collection of nonsensical, unfunny blah blah blah (which applauds things like drunk driving, eating disorders, ridiculing children and old people) plunk yourself down at a Barnes & Nobel, order a latte and read it for free. You'll be really glad you didn't spend your hard earned money supporting a bottom feeder named Perez Hilton. He is the poop stain on the bottom of a flea's shoe.

Perez Hilton has wormed his way to the top spot of the gossip blog world. On that throne, he praises those celebrities that somehow manage to be in his good graces (calling Angelina Jolie a "saint") while trying desperately to bring about the fall of others deemed unworthy (Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are always favorite targets). At some point you'd think that celebrities, the media, and society would realize that the self-proclaimed "Queen of all Media" is not worthy of a Burger King paper crown.

Hilton's first book is a lot like the stuff you'd read on his blog: it's mean, petty, but at times you can't help but laugh. Red Carpet Suicide is sarcastically funny at best and desperately sophomoric at worst. It is a satire of how to become famous. Perez Hilton (a pen name) pokes fun at many celebrities and the way they've made their fame. Some of his advice? Get a DUI, adopt lots of babies from a foreign country, and stage photo-ops with the paparazzi. It's good for a few laughs. The problem lies in his delivery. Just like on his blog, he is at times needlessly cruel and in my opinion misogynistic. The bitter, mean personality that shines through all of his writing may appeal to some but it turns me off. For that reason I would say pass on this book.

Yeah, Perez Hilton may be one of the funniest and most famous blogger ever! But, he certainly can't entertain in a book.

I thought this book would be funny, and sort of like his site, but to be honest, I was shocked at how little I liked this book.
Not interesting, entertaining, at all!!!!

He uses bad language, talks about which celebs are going to die, and just stupid/weird stuff.

Not at all what i expected! big text, usless words written to fill the pages, stupid games and quizes to also fill pages. Nothing important. No gossip nothing confirmed. It was like someone telling you a secret without telling you who it was about.. So i know this a list actress who snorted coke at a party right next to me..you wont belive who she was!..but im not going to tell you... Why did you even write this boook! Better yet why did i buy it..lesson learned!