Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser [Paperback]

Gary S. Aumiller (Author), Daniel Goldfarb (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 1999

Is he a Leech? Or Mr. Ego? Or The Burdened Beast? Learn the twenty-five different loser types of men and how to send them out of your life!

Sure he's gorgeous, funny, and charming--but early in any doomed relationship there are warning signals foretelling the bad news to come. Studies show that most women will try to justify these signs, excusing them so they don't interfere with their fantasy of having met the perfect man. Unfortunately, such signs are usually all too prophetic--they are the essence of what Drs. Gary Aumiller and Daniel Goldfarb call "Red Flags." The question then becomes how to detect and respond to a Red Flag before it's too late. This first-of-its-kind book will help readers determine a man's all-important "loser potential" within the first three dates.

Each chapter includes a profile of a different loser, a post-date quiz to help you determine if Mr. Right is Mr. Wrong, and important information about the best way to break up with him. Red Flags has all the fun of a magazine quiz combined with the expertise of psychologists who specialize in the techniques used by the police to profile criminals. They know how to spot the rejects--and now you will, too!

"After reading Red Flags you'll never be stuck in a bad relationship again. Thank you, Doctors Aumiller and Goldfarb, for writing the book every dating woman needs!"--Sharyn Wolf, author of Guerrilla Dating Tactics

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Aumiller and Goldfarb have based this book on their experiences as psychologists. They've seen firsthand how women can be led astray by the "Losers" they date or even marry, and their aim is to help women spot dead-end relationships before they get into them too deeply. Because they've treated "Losers" in their practices and because they've done work with the police in establishing profiles of deviant personalities, the authors have been able to differentiate among various classes of "Losers." They've come up with 25 different categories of "Loser," from the Abuser to the Wanderer, and also supply a set of quizzes for each type so that the reader can tell if her blind date really isn't worth pursuing. The cleverly themed chapters are short and easy to read, and the quizzes do seem to be grounded in the forensic psychology that the authors practice. Certainly worth buying for public libraries if there is interest.APamela A. Matthews, Gettysburg Coll. Lib., PA
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Gary Aumiller, Ph.D., is an internationally known lecturer, police consultant, and author of Keeping It Simple: Sorting Out What Really Matters in Your Life. Daniel Goldfarb, Ph.D., runs a private mental-health center and serves as webmaster of several psychology self-help sites on the Internet. Both authors have served as presidents of the Society of Police and Criminal Psychology. In their collective careers, they have helped more than 4,000 patients solve problems and make better decisions. Both authors live in Hauppauge, New York.

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Plume (September 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452281172
• ISBN-13: 978-0452281172
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #495,741 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 57 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars A fortune cookie approach to personality, September 9, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser (Paperback)

As a single woman, I devour books like these. This one disappointed me. At its heart is the notion that there are easily-codified, distinct 'types' of bad-news men, and that with the proper preparation, a woman can recognize them in order to steer clear! It all makes sense, but it's awfully simplistic, and therefore not terribly enlightening in the long run.

If a companion volume were written for men about "loser" women, I believe that we women (who, let's face it, are the primary readers of most of these books, whether they are directed at males or females) would be enraged - and rightfully so. The authors take discrete negative traits and enlarge and universalize them so that they become the defining aspects of personality. Much is ignored in this process.

I do not think that this book is more than a fun read. I think that often, people we love may have a number of annoying traits, but many others which can balance the negatives quite well. And it's in that balancing that couples often find their good relationship.

I gave this book only 3 atars, because it's just too simplistic.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars got it for Sis, March 29, 2000

By 

"chance358" (Ct) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser (Paperback)

I enjoyed this book immensely - in fact, I bought a 2nd copy for my (college freshman) sister! I told her there are some generalities, but if taken within the context of a pattern this book is a unique way of informing ourselves about the men we date. Additionally, it prompts us to look at our new guy intellectually, as well as emotionally, and make a decision with our heads, not solely our hearts.

I do agree there are too many "man-bashing" books out there - I'd LOVE to see this book written for men and the women they should look out for.

I found, looking back at a 10-year relationship I left with much difficulty,that there WERE signs of future conflicts. I'd ignored those things because I didn't have much dating experience (so he lives with his parents, they're a close family . . ), and no one to guide me through the dating jungle!

Read with a dash of common sense - every man's circumstances are different and that has to be taken into consideration - this book is very helpful. Thanks for a great book.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic!, November 17, 2004

By 

reads a lot - See all my reviews

This review is from: Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser (Paperback)

Sure, you need to take some of this advice with a grain of salt, but the reason that men have gotten away with a lot of the stuff they've pulled is because women put up with it. It's eye-opening to read this book and see so many people you've known described down to the smallest detail. Women deserve to be treated well. This book helps identify the men who aren't going to do that.