Customer Reviews

Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

As a single woman, I devour books like these. This one disappointed me. At its heart is the notion that there are easily-codified, distinct 'types' of bad-news men, and that with the proper preparation, a woman can recognize them in order to steer clear! It all makes sense, but it's awfully simplistic, and therefore not terribly enlightening in the long run.

If a companion volume were written for men about "loser" women, I believe that we women (who, let's face it, are the primary readers of most of these books, whether they are directed at males or females) would be enraged - and rightfully so. The authors take discrete negative traits and enlarge and universalize them so that they become the defining aspects of personality. Much is ignored in this process.

I do not think that this book is more than a fun read. I think that often, people we love may have a number of annoying traits, but many others which can balance the negatives quite well. And it's in that balancing that couples often find their good relationship.

I gave this book only 3 atars, because it's just too simplistic.

I enjoyed this book immensely - in fact, I bought a 2nd copy for my (college freshman) sister! I told her there are some generalities, but if taken within the context of a pattern this book is a unique way of informing ourselves about the men we date. Additionally, it prompts us to look at our new guy intellectually, as well as emotionally, and make a decision with our heads, not solely our hearts.

I do agree there are too many "man-bashing" books out there - I'd LOVE to see this book written for men and the women they should look out for.

I found, looking back at a 10-year relationship I left with much difficulty,that there WERE signs of future conflicts. I'd ignored those things because I didn't have much dating experience (so he lives with his parents, they're a close family . . ), and no one to guide me through the dating jungle!

Read with a dash of common sense - every man's circumstances are different and that has to be taken into consideration - this book is very helpful. Thanks for a great book.

Sure, you need to take some of this advice with a grain of salt, but the reason that men have gotten away with a lot of the stuff they've pulled is because women put up with it. It's eye-opening to read this book and see so many people you've known described down to the smallest detail. Women deserve to be treated well. This book helps identify the men who aren't going to do that.

This book catagorizes people into types that are losers. Yellow flag losers may be worth the effort, while RED flag losers need to be weeded out. The book even tells you how to get rid of a loser.

The book is FUNNY, but also informative. Although you know the guy is a loser, sometimes it is difficult to put your finger on what is wrong. This book helps. The book helped me see some similarities in the losers I have met. It also helps to educate you on how to get out of the relationship. Some losers are easy to leave, but there are others that you just can't run from either because they keep returning, or because they become violent.

There is one loser that the book does not mention. That is the one of the selfish or stingy person.

I really enjoyed this book.

After reading Dr. Aumiller's first book, "Keeping It Simple," I couldn't help purchasing his newest book "Red Flags!: How to Know When You're Dating A Loser." At first I was hesitant in picking up this book, because I heard how it catergorizes men into different loser categories. (I am happily married and was afraid that my husband may be in one of those categories). So I decided to purchase this text and read for myself how my husband would be catergorized. Interestingly enough I found that he was none of the above. But I was, however, intrigued by the different types of men that were listed. When I think back on days that I was dating, I think God these guys were really Losers and pretty much wasting my time with B.S. Fortunately for me the RIGHT man did come around, before this book was written. I was so inspirationally overwhelmed by this book, not only did I buy one, but I bought four more books as Christmas presents for my single girlfriends who are having trouble finding mr. right in this world. Now this book doesn't actually tell you what you need, because everyone needs something different. But it does help you sort out losers and children from real men. Maybe your the type of woman who likes to play games, but if your like me you're only getting older and it is going to be harder and harder to find mr. right. If you are truly serious about relationships and getting a control of your love life, I highly recommend this book. I would also recommend this book to fathers who have daughters interested in dating. I know after i read it my husband wanted to see not only what category he was in but what to look out for when our little princess gets older. Kudos to Dr. Aumiller again and please keep 'em coming.

Hats off to the author for writing this fantastic guide in which he profiles 25 different types of dud boyfriend. They're all here - Mr Ego, The Deadbeat, The Closet Case etc etc to help you guard against dating Mr Wrong. I gave it to my daughter Stephanie for her 14th birthday, having got busy with the highlighter pen and added a handwritten appendix of my own with a few pearls of paternal wisdom.

Some reviewers of this book think that it is a man-bashing extravaganza. I don't think that's true. The authors are clear that there are lots of great guys out there (most women realize that as well). But, there are lots of not-so-nice guys (and women too!)out there that can cause alot of emotional damage.
Any women who dates should be aware of these loser types.

After reading several books on relationships and dating, this is the first book to actually broach the subject of "Losers" in such a candid and witty manner. Every intelligent woman who is single or divorced should seriously consider this reading this fabulous book and pass it on to loved ones or good friends who are also dating. Keep in mind that this book is a tool to be supplemented by other qualified books for relationships and self-improvement, and it should not to be regarded as a dating "bible." The book covers simple techniques (or Red Flags) for detecting possible "Losers" before a woman considers a serious or even casual relationship with any man. Additionally, should a "Loser" somehow infiltrate a woman's life, there are very helpful tips on gracefully ejecting him from her life without creating a social or emotional disaster. It is admirable that the book has been authored by male (Ph.D.'s) who specialize in the methods used by police to profile criminals, and the authors have no qualms about pointing out the serious personality flaws of dysfunctional men lurking in the dating market. Although I had the abysmal experience of living with and subsequently ejecting a complete "Loser" from my life this year (prior to discovering this book), I am grateful that the authors published it during my prime dating years and I can finally avoid any further relationship traps thanks to Red Flags!

Oh my! I got to the chapter on "The Show Off" and almost fell over. This is the man I have been dating down to a hundred little details such as being into scuba diving and driving a jaguar. I wonder if he has a little jaguar pin since he has all the other jewelry items mentions in the chapter. How weird. He'd be horrified that he is in a book as one of 25 loser types since he is a man lives who lives to be impressive. I recognize a lot of themen in this book and have wasted my time with many of them. The one I mentioned was pretty eerie though. I still can't believe it wasn't him personally that they were talking about. I saw all the red flags but I ignored them. I'll never do it again. Listen and observe your dates ladies. A man will tell you exactly who he is and how he will treat you in the first few dates if you just pay attention. It will save you a lot of pain and frustration. This book is a good primer for warning signs to watch for. It also helped me understand the relationship I just ended and eased the guilt and pain. I can understand why some of the men are offended by this book but the truth hurts sometimes. These types do exist and they also do damage.

Red Flags assesses various loser dude types quickly and concisely, and that works for me. My loser dude scored 60 on the Mr. Neglecter test, and close to that on Mr. Ego. This guy is so "red" he's a stop light. For me, it's a tremendous help to know that his behavior isn't about me, so I won't blame myself. When I read the story that precedes the test, I substituted my name and his for the main characters and the similarities were eerie. I love it when that happens!

Another thing I like about this book is that the final chapter gives examples of events and phases of our lives that can make us vulnerable to red flag types. This information is helpful for all women, even those who can spot a loser a mile away.

I'm giving this book 4 stars instead of 5 because I didn't find any information that addresses the root causes of choosing red flag types. Most of us who've been through any model of personal growth know that we're attracted to certain "types" and the reasons often trace back to our family of origin. Red Flags doesn't address this and doesn't offer any reference material on the topic. Also, the book does not have an index or a bibliography.

That said, I think this is a solid purchase for any woman who's out there dating, especially as our options dwindle for various reasons. Once again, the authors make it clear that finding Mr. Right is a numbers game, so it's good to know what types we shouldn't waste precious time on.

I found this book at the public library, but it's definitely worth the purchase price.