The closer the relationship, the more excruciating the conflict.
Nowhere does this principle prove itself so vividly as in a family, whether it s biological or spiritual. Most of us have seen the agonizing pain that accompanies the breakdown of a marriage, especially if it is followed by a divorce. The sense of betrayal, anger, bitterness, and hostility that are spawned by the severing of marital bonds can trigger fierce infighting that poisons hearts and relationships for a lifetime.
The same can be said of conflict in a church. Scripture uses familial terms to describe our spiritual relationships father and mother, son and daughter, brother and sister. We invest our hearts and souls in these relationships; we sacrifice, we share, we struggle, we rejoice, we worship, we grow, we celebrate and we mourn ... together. As we do so, our hearts and lives become deeply entwined, and we develop high expectations of one another.
By God s grace, most of us can overlook the minor disappointments of those expectations and continue to worship and minister together for many wonderful years. But when frequent, prolonged, or serious disagreements pervade our church families, our expectations of one another can be deeply shaken. Small waves of disappointment can grow into tsunamis of conflict that sweep over an entire congregation, destroying relationships, ministries, and the witness of the gospel.
I have seen this destructive process far too many times. In my own community, one of the most vibrant and evangelistic churches in town became tangled in a prolonged battle over vision and leadership style. Instead of responding redemptively, both sides formed well-organized factions that maneuvered for control for years. That church is now a parking lot. Literally. The congregation was shattered and scattered, the building was leveled, and the entire campus is now asphalt. I grieve every time I drive by it.
This is why I am so excited about this book. Through their work with Peacemaker Ministries, my friends Dave and Tara have served dozens of churches that were teetering on the brink of destruction. Again and again, they have immersed themselves in the conflict and distress of entire congregations, listening to story after story, seeing the pain and anger of others, and gaining the trust of people who had lost all ability to trust.
Having gained a passport into the hearts of individuals and opposing factions, Tara and Dave became channels of God s reconciling grace. They have helped people replace worldly suspicion with a Kingdom perspective. They have facilitated discernment and understanding. They have inspired leaders to kneel in confession and prayer, to stand up with gospel boldness, and to lead with wisdom and love. And by example and instruction, they have taught entire congregations how to apply scriptural principles to promote reconciliation, peace, and unity.
Their experience and wisdom is set forth in the following pages. I pray that you will study this book carefully and apply its principles in your church with the love and power of Christ. In doing so, you can redeem church conflict, turning it into an opportunity for growth, worship, and Kingdom expansion.
Ken Sande, Founder Peacemaker Ministries --Ken Sande, Founder of Peacemaker Ministries
In Redeeming Church Conflicts Tara Barthel and David Edling draw on their extensive experience helping brothers and sisters resolve serious divisions in ways that bring glory to Jesus, the prince of peace. Perhaps even more important than the wisdom they have gained from walking with congregations through conflict are the insights that they draw from God s Word itself and their confidence that a deepening grasp of the gospel of God s grace sets hearts free to seek and grant forgiveness and to find the humility to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Believers and church leaders should read and take to heart the wisdom offered in Redeeming Church Conflicts not only when conflict threatens our congregations, but also when peace prevails.
Rev. Dr. Dennis E. Johnson, Professor of Practical Theology, Westminster Seminary California and author of The Message of Acts in the History of Redemption and multiple other books --Professor Dennis E. Johnson, Westminster Seminary California
Church conflicts are a shameful thing they hurt, divide, and besmirch the name of Christ. This volume does more than lament the problem. It digs deeply into the experience of the New Testament church to discover a model of forgiveness and redemption that can help the witness of the church to shine once again. May this book help to spawn a whole generation of Acts 15 churches.
Dr. Timothy George is the founding dean of Beeson Divinity School at Samford University and general editor of the Reformation Commentary on Scripture --Dr. Timothy George, Beeson Divinity School
From the Back Cover
"In Redeeming Church Conflicts Tara Barthel and David Edling draw on their extensive experience helping brothers and sisters resolve serious divisions in ways that bring glory to Jesus, the prince of peace." Rev. Dr. Dennis E. Johnson, Professor of Practical Theology at Westminster Seminary California and the author of The Message of Acts in the History of Redemption
See all Editorial Reviews
"Church conflicts are a shameful thing--they hurt, divide, and besmirch the name of Christ. This volume does more than lament the problem. It digs deeply into the experience of the New Testament church to discover a model of forgiveness and redemption that can help the witness of the church to shine once again."Dr. Timothy George is the founding dean of Beeson Divinity School at Samford University and general editor of the Reformation Commentary on Scripture
"Tara Barthel and David Edling do the body of Christ a significant service inRedeeming Church Conflicts ... Have your staff and your entire church read this book. It will go a long way in creating a culture of peacemaking in your church." Dr. Tim S. Lane, President, Christianity Counseling and Educational Foundation
"This book delivers exactly what is needed in church conflict: a wealth of biblical wisdom and professional expertise as well as an unflinching challenge toward self-examination and away from angry entrenchment and graceless condemnation." Nancy Guthrie, teacher and author of the Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament Bible Study Series
"Redeeming Church Conflicts is that rare book that proves what it promises by showing how the gospel truly affords the church in conflict real means of redeeming the seemingly irredeemable." Rev. Dr. Alfred Poirier, Senior Pastor of Rocky Mountain Community Church (PCA), former Chair of the board of Peacemaker Ministries
"Conflicts within the Church strike at the heart of our witness to the world, and yet there are very few rigorously biblical resources available on this topic ... this book is soundly biblical from beginning to end, with a practical, gospel-centered approach to disputes within the Church." Glenn Waddell, President, Birmingham Theological Seminary
"With delight I commend this much-needed contribution to the field of church conflict intervention... few writers so richly blend sound theology with seasoned ministry experience, all in a readable case-wise manual that will aid church leaders on all levels. " Rev. Dr. Robert D. Jones, Biblical Counseling Professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, and Author of Uprooting Anger
"Redeeming Church Conflicts is Biblical, insightful and practical; based on wisdom born of faithful service to the Lord and a keen understanding of people. Barthel and Edling present a framework for conflict resolution that is God honoring, sanctifying and redeems what is often times very destructive. Much personal heartache and wounding in Christian ministry could be avoided if church leaders would follow this hermeneutically sound counsel. Dr. Andrew S. Zeller, President, Sangre de Cristo Seminary, Chaplain (COL) U.S. Army (Ret.), D. Min., Th.M., M. Div., B.A.