Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care [Paperback]

Tara Klena Barthel (Author), David V. Edling (Author), Ken Sande (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1, 2012

Every church will experience conflicts. How a church handles these inevitable conflicts determines its future and the spiritual health of its members. If properly approached, church conflicts can be used for spiritual growth--both individually and corporately as the body of Christ. Redeeming church conflicts--making something glorious out of something awful--provides evidence to a watching world that the gospel is real and powerful.

In this purposeful and practical book, two church-conflict resolution experts take readers through the Acts 15 model of approaching conflict in order to help them understand the intricacies of their church conflict. The book provides a clear, godly way forward into redemptive reconciliation, regardless of how the people involved in the conflict respond or fail to respond.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

"In Redeeming Church Conflicts Tara Barthel and David Edling draw on their extensive experience helping brothers and sisters resolve serious divisions in ways that bring glory to Jesus, the prince of peace." Rev. Dr. Dennis E. Johnson, Professor of Practical Theology at Westminster Seminary California and the author of The Message of Acts in the History of Redemption

"Church conflicts are a shameful thing--they hurt, divide, and besmirch the name of Christ. This volume does more than lament the problem. It digs deeply into the experience of the New Testament church to discover a model of forgiveness and redemption that can help the witness of the church to shine once again."Dr. Timothy George is the founding dean of Beeson Divinity School at Samford University and general editor of the Reformation Commentary on Scripture


"Tara Barthel and David Edling do the body of Christ a significant service inRedeeming Church Conflicts ... Have your staff and your entire church read this book. It will go a long way in creating a culture of peacemaking in your church." Dr. Tim S. Lane, President, Christianity Counseling and Educational Foundation


"This book delivers exactly what is needed in church conflict: a wealth of biblical wisdom and professional expertise as well as an unflinching challenge toward self-examination and away from angry entrenchment and graceless condemnation." Nancy Guthrie, teacher and author of the Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament Bible Study Series


"Redeeming Church Conflicts is that rare book that proves what it promises by showing how the gospel truly affords the church in conflict real means of redeeming the seemingly irredeemable." Rev. Dr. Alfred Poirier, Senior Pastor of Rocky Mountain Community Church (PCA), former Chair of the board of Peacemaker Ministries


"Conflicts within the Church strike at the heart of our witness to the world, and yet there are very few rigorously biblical resources available on this topic ... this book is soundly biblical from beginning to end, with a practical, gospel-centered approach to disputes within the Church." Glenn Waddell, President, Birmingham Theological Seminary


"With delight I commend this much-needed contribution to the field of church conflict intervention... few writers so richly blend sound theology with seasoned ministry experience, all in a readable case-wise manual that will aid church leaders on all levels. " Rev. Dr. Robert D. Jones, Biblical Counseling Professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, and Author of Uprooting Anger


"Redeeming Church Conflicts is Biblical, insightful and practical; based on wisdom born of faithful service to the Lord and a keen understanding of people. Barthel and Edling present a framework for conflict resolution that is God honoring, sanctifying and redeems what is often times very destructive. Much personal heartache and wounding in Christian ministry could be avoided if church leaders would follow this hermeneutically sound counsel. Dr. Andrew S. Zeller, President, Sangre de Cristo Seminary, Chaplain (COL) U.S. Army (Ret.), D. Min., Th.M., M. Div., B.A.

About the Author

Tara Klena Barthel is a former attorney and director of the Institute for Christian Conciliation, a division of Peacemaker® Ministries. Currently, she serves her family as a homemaker while occasionally accepting cases as a mediator, arbitrator, and conflicted church intervention team member. Tara is an instructor and Certified Christian Conciliator with Peacemaker Ministries and a consultant to businesses and Christian ministries resolving conflict. Tara and her family live in Montana.

David V. Edling is a former attorney and director at Peacemaker® Ministries. He has taught at several seminaries and served his country with distinction in both the US Navy and US Coast Guard officer corps, including multiple tours of duty in combat zones. He serves in the private practice of Christian conciliation through his church's reconciliation ministry. He and his wife, Pat, live in Colorado.

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Baker Books (May 1, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 080101428X
• ISBN-13: 978-0801014284
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #719,764 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Tara Klena Barthel formerly served as the Director of the Institute for Christian Conciliation, a division of Peacemaker Ministries. As such, she oversaw the delivery of all conciliation services and advanced conciliator training.

Currently, she serves her family as a homemaker while regularly mediating, speaking, and writing on biblical peacemaking. Baker Book House Co. published her first book in 2005: Peacemaking Women--Biblical Hope for Resolving Conflict and her first video series was released by Peacemaker Ministries in 2007: The Peacemaking Church Women's Study--Living the Gospel in Relationships. Tara's most recent book was released by Baker in May, 2012: Redeeming Church Conflicts--Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care.

Prior to joining the staff of Peacemaker Ministries, Tara worked as an attorney and business consultant in Chicago. Tara, Fred, and their young daughters are members of Rocky Mountain Community Church (PCA). To learn more about Tara's speaking and conciliating services, visit www.tarabarthel.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars blown away with grace!! May 11, 2012

By Melissa

Format:Paperback

"Conflict: a difference of opinion or purpose, that frustrates someone's goals or desires." If you are a part of the church you have seen conflict!! No two ways about it. Whether it be something seemingly small, ie carpet color...or huge conflicts having to do with leadership, every church will experience conflict. This book gives practical and graceful steps, based on an Acts 15 model, and advice for resolving conflicts in the church. Viewing conflict as opportunities to live out the gospel. It is written with thoughtfulness and grace that always points you back to Christ and the cross. I could see myself among the pages from the very beginning!

I totally recommend reading this book, whether you are in the throes of church conflict, have a hurting church suffering from the aftermath of conflict, or you just want to prepare.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The power to grow through the worst situations July 8, 2012

By Chris Mackinnon

Format:Paperback

God, in all of His wisdom, gave the world His Church. We are one Body made up of many members, saved by the same faith, united by the Holy Spirit. He gave leaders and gifts to the Church to help it grow and minister to each other and the world. And yet there is one element of church life that can destroy all that God desires to accomplish through this Body: people.

I have often said that the church is made up of people, and where people are involved things get messy. Conflict is a part of church life. It doesn't take twenty years of church membership to know this is true. Unfortunately, though we know conflict exists in the church, we usually go on without knowing how to deal with it, solve it, and move on in our walk with Christ together. Yet there is more to conflict than just "dealing it." We have the ability to redeem conflict and come out of it healthier, closer to God and each other.

Redeeming Church Conflicts is the work of two church conflict professionals. Throughout the book they share their personal experiences with churches, pastors and individuals who brought them in to help mediate their conflicts. They have seen any kind of conflict you can imagine within your church, and probably many that you would not consider.

Their foundation for solving conflict is a four-fold model that is derived from the first Church council in Jerusalem, detailed for us in Acts 15. The book is broken into sections to discuss each of these.

Perspective
Discernment
Leadership
Biblical Response

Throughout the book, the role of perspective is revisited. Only when we understand our individual and corporate roles in the light of eternity and God's design will we be able to redeem our conflicts.

Most issues that we deal with are not the underlying concerns that have created conflict. They are symptoms of a deeper disconnect between the members of the Body. These core issues or motivations must be discovered and aligned to the right perspective for conflict to be redeemed. Part of this discovery is in asking "best" questions which the authors help us learn to ask.

Leaders and followers must also learn and apply the truths of biblical leadership and followership. We are reminded of the biblical foundation and role of membership. Leaders have to remember to be models to those they lead. Followers must remember that God gave them a leader because they need a leader.

Biblically responding to conflict includes recognizing that we all have a part that we are responsible for. When our church is divided on opposite sides, we have chosen one instead of seeking reconciliation. We have to repent and forgive one another, on individual and group levels.

Above all we must be sensitive to God's Spirit. There are times when just stopping to pray or read the right Scripture can diffuse anger and hurt and remind us that God is in control and He is able to work for God all that occurred around us.

After reading the book you might discover that bringing in some help from another group would be beneficial to your situation. There is an appendix to help you decide the type of help you need, what qualifications to look for and some general helpful tips when working with a third-party.

Some of my own highlights include the following:

[After detailing a few "costs of church conflict"] Such destructive results from unresolved conflict should make us flee pride, disregard the fear of man, and turn from defensiveness and self-righteousness. (48)

Jesus revealed reality, which is apparent only through the lens of his eternal perspective, not that of a selfish heart. (69)

We must consider not only what people want by why they want it if we are to understand the motivations of the heart. (74)

The best question shuts the mouth of opponents graciously because it leads to changed thinking and believing. It also leads to meaningful solutions because it goes to the heart of the matter. (89)

The physically blind have a distinct advantage over the spiritually blind--they know they are blind. Usually the spiritually blind person cannot make an accurate self-diagnosis of his or her condition. And we all, to one degree or another, are spiritually blind. (108)

Too often in history, perhaps even in the history of your own church, the name of Christ and the reputation of the church have been disgraced because conflicts were not resolved in a way that would show the power of the gospel to a watching world. (120)

Many Christians don't know what to do with a true shepherd-leader who uses both the staff and the rod with wisdom and proper balance. (135)

It's true that all leaders are imperfect. But we can all learn to follow imperfect leaders. We have no other choice, for there is no perfect leader in a fallen world, and as followers, this is what we are called to do. (152)

God's agenda for his eternal children is not merely a life of comfort, ease, or pleasure. He is fully willing to compromise all of these for the sake of our spiritual growth... (180)

Church conflict is not just an issue to be worked through. When we truly get to the roots of the conflict, when we respond authentically and humbly to the Word of God and the work of the Spirit, church conflict can be the catalyst for great growth spiritually.

Church conflict is the seedbed, the growth environment, in which we can mature if we turn the opportunity of redeeming our church's conflicts into opportunities for "mining" spiritual growth. (113)

No church is immune to conflict. If your waters are calm and smooth, prepare for the rough days. If you are already in the midst of rough water or can see the clouds approaching, Redeeming Church Conflicts is a valuable resource to bring perspective and guidance to you and your church.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Peacemaking As The Way of Church Life July 6, 2012

By Dr Conrade Yap

Format:Paperback

This book is not about Church conflicts. It is about redeeming people. It is about restoring one's focus on Christ. It is about learning the biblical way of becoming a united body of Christ. Based on Acts 15, the authors give readers a 'why' as well as 'how-to' manual for implementing a biblical peacemaking process. As an ekklesia, a called-out people of God, we are warned against submitting to two extremes of the "slippery slope." The first extreme is to escape from conflicts through denial, through flight away from the problem, or suicidal methods that essentially deprives oneself of any reconciliation, and in the process, denying the Church of a valued member. The second extreme is through "attack responses" like assaulting the other party, going the way of litigation that bogs down the entire Church testimony, and in the worst case, murder of one another, especially character assassination. The authors define redemption as follows: "Redeeming church conflict means intentional dependence on the humbling and heart-changing grace of Christ's Holy Spirit by turning relational crisis in the church into compassionate care as you take every thought and deed captive to him" (17).

Barthel and Edling use four core principles to help turn crisis of conflicts into opportunities for compassion and care, namely perspective, discernment, leadership, and biblical response.

My Thoughts
============
There are many goodies and tips to take away from this book. I like the 4Gs of Peacemaking:

- Glorify God: focus on our purpose
- Get the log out of your eye: resist judging
- Gently restore: inner reflection
- Go and be reconciled: outer action

I also like the frank manner in which the conflicts are approached, like the "slippery slope" responses, the case studies of LCC, and the four promises of forgiveness. The authors do not mince their words when it comes to grabbing the bull of conflicts by the horns. They know that letting the bull loose is risking the fragile glassware and china in the shop. Once broken, it may never be repaired. The key is redeeming in the light of God's Word, God's love, and God's direction. Far too many leaders say and think all the right ideas, but fail to put them adequately into practice. This book takes away any excuse not to practice forgiveness. It restores the need for us to recollect God's perspective. It sharpens our need for discernment. It increases the importance of leadership by example. It boldly calls for a biblical responses as individuals as well as as a body. Very importantly, conflicts are here to stay, which is why it is critical to cultivate long term character change instead of short-term magic steps. The former grows in loving growth while the latter treats conflict management like a disposable diaper. The problem with diapers is that it forgets that babies poo/urinate all the time. If conflicts are never ending, make sure our works of redeeming church conflicts never end as well.

Peacemaking is not a one-off project. It is a life-long endeavour. As long as sinful people are around, be prepared for conflicts. As long as love is present, there is hope for redeeming church conflicts. As long as we let God be at the center of all our lives, grace will be present abundantly. This book is a bridge to help readers see exactly that.

Rating: 5 stars of 5.

conrade

"Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favourite bookseller from Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group".