Customer Reviews

Redirecting Children's Behavior

5 star:		(21)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book has wisdom that could not be learned in a thousand lifetimes of raising children. Quite simply it teaches you how to parent in an effective and non-judgemental way so that everyone's feelings and desires are considered but you still achieve your goals as a parent. I have used it on children, nieces & nephews and even adults my age and I must tell you that it works.

For example, when a young nephew spilled apple juice on a niece's newly colored princess picture, she burst into tears. Her father tried in vain to distract her, telling her to stop crying, in order to end the extremely loud sobbing. (Any embarassed parent would do this! It's your first reaction and is so natural!) Remembering what this book had taught, I toweled up the apple juice and softly said "Let her mourn. It was a beautiful picture and a terrible accident has happened. My brother did the same thing to one of my drawings when I was in the second grade and it was heartbreaking. She has the right to be sad right now." Within an instant of a second my niece stopped her loud sobbing and stared at me in disbelief. Her dad was surprised, too, at how quickly the dramatic wails had ceased. A few big tears still rolled down her cheek and there certainly was a follow-up whimper or two, but she was instantly ready to get out the blow dryer and salvage the picture, all because I had said I understood her sadness and it was okay for her to cry. Why did it have the complete opposite effect? Because the frustration of being told to "quit crying" when she had a right to cry wasn't added to the mix of her emotions. She only had to deal with one emotion - the sadness - and when acknowledged by another, she was able to work through it much faster. I give this insightful book 100% credit for that outcome.

I simply adore this book and although I found it almost mind-bending at times to read and comprehend, I truly cherish it. I sincerely mourn that the first copyright date was long before I was born and that my parents did not ever get their hands on this book. I am also sad that I have this wonderful knowledge and yet find it so hard to be as loving and non-judgemental towards my husband who I adore, although I would love to treat him so divinely. Read the book and you'll understand what I mean - you really do become sad each time you don't apply it's wisdom to solving the difficult situations you encounter in real-life relationships. The good news is this book gives you the power to change and is SO FUN to put into practice!

I was spanked as a child and thought that was how I would do it. Then I read this book and took the related class. It completely changed how I parent. Why spank when you can easily get your kids to cooperate in other wonderful, self-esteem building ways? I have been doing this method now for 3 years and my kids are obedient, confident, good problem solvers and get very positive comments from their teachers. I owe 60% of that to this book.

This book teaches more than just how to weave a stronger relationship with the children in your life. It teaches you how to have better relationships throughout your life. Not only does it teach you how to encourage others, you learn how to create bonds through successful, and positive communication. In all honesty this book taught me how to be a better manager in addition to preparing me to become a parent.

I read this book & took this course in 1993 when my foster son was 16 and my son was 5 and have used the techniques not only with them, but also with people of all ages. Quite simply, it works. Does it work all the time (or with the result that I think it should evoke)? No, but what does?. Does it work better and more consistently than anything else that I've come across? Definitely YES!
If you've ever gone to work or to bed upset after dealing with a misbehaving child, you need this book. If you're tired of being frustrated by your defiant teenager or your stubborn grade schooler or even a difficult co-worker, read this book. If you have the fortitude to apply the techniques consistently, you will see remarkable results.

This book teaches parents how to discipline their children by using many practical, effective and non-punitive techniques. The best part of all for me is that I now feel very good about myself as a parent. I've found that parenting from love instead of fear is far more effective, allows for better parent-child relationships and my children have healthier self-esteem. Absolutely the best parenting book I've ever read!

I found the book extremely practical. Something I could actually use on a day to day basis. After just a few days of using some of the advice and ideas I could see major improvment in my relationship with my children. I also can see that my children are able to communicate with me better. The idea of empowering them and letting go was especially good for me.

This book that should come with a money-back guarantee. I cannot imagine anyone reading this book and not emerging from it a happier and more effective parent. As a working mom with three kids aged 10 and under, I can tell you, I wish I had read this book years ago - it would have saved me so much frustration! The book is short, well written, and a quick read. The message is simple and powerful, and the examples and anecdotes really help the reader to process the material. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Years ago in college, I took a Communications class. Reading this book reminded me a lot of that class. It's very insightful and offers valuable information on dealing with pre-teens (for parenting) to adults (for just plain communicating).
I do not believe the same concepts can apply for a 2 year old as it can for a 15 year old, as this book seems to imply. A young child has not learned to conceptualize and use other necessary reasoning skills in order to be dealt with on the same level as an older child or teenager. They often do not understand the consequences of their actions, despite parents explaining them or giving examples. Until a child has these skills, I think this book will be of limited value. I can see some improvement in my 6 year old but it is not applicable to my 2 year old.
The book addresses many of the same principles I'd already had. In that way, it was good to see them in a new light with ideas and reinforcements I had not thought of already.
The first part of the book talks about using discipline and avoid punishment. Well, punishment is a fact of life. If I'm speeding and get pulled over by a cop, he's likely to give me a ticket (punishment), not go over what could happen by my speeding (discipline). Punishment does not always mean striking a child or destroying their spirit, but just giving a speech will not teach a child right from wrong. And they should not learn everything by experience as some are dangerous. If my son was repeatedly running thru the house with a pencil, I believe the author would suggest negotiating with him as to why he keeps doing so and the wrong thing would be to take the pencil away. Well, my feeling is I can tell him what the dangers are, and if he continues to disobey, I will take away the pencil. The role of parents is to keep children safe as well as nurture them. I believe there are times when the parent sets the rules and the child obeys. This is in slight contrast to what I took away from the book.
Still, this is one person's opinion. I've taken some ideas and can use them. Others won't work for me or my situation. Each reader can get ideas, improve on their own situation, and adapt it as necessary. In that respect, it's a excellent book to read on parenting.

A positive approach to parenting stressing the child's self-esteem, lots of creative techniques for handling typical situations, and "checking" in on your own emotional state.

Great for parents of toddlers.

This is the best book on parenting I've read. The examples were very easy to implement at home. I have three children & most books have one "right" way to raise them; this book encourages parents to be critical thinkers and advocates for their children. Something sorely lacking today.