Customer Reviews

Reforming Marriage

5 star:		(38)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

When I read the sentence, "the chief end of marriage is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever" (p. 12), I was hooked. This is the best Christian book on marriage that I have read (and I've read a lot of them!). It is straightforward and to the point, Biblical, enjoyable, and practical.

Wilson covers topics well, dealing with the divine purpose for marriage (chapter 1), headship and authority (chapter 2), husband and wife roles (chapter 3), courtesy and romance (chapter 4), conflict resolution (chapter 5 - excellent!), temptations (chapter 6), sex (chapter 7), children (chapter 8), and divorce/remarriage (chapter 9).

There were several insights in this book that were especially helpful to me: particularly on the headship of husbands and the God-given (though different) orientations of men and women. Wilson wisely says: "The fundamental orientation of an obedient man is to his calling or vocation under God. Under normal circumstances, he cannot fulfill his calling alone - he needs help. The fundatmental orientation of an obedient woman is to give that help. Another way of saying this is that the man's orientation is to do the job with her help, while the woman's orientation is to help him do the job. He is oriented to the task, and she is oriented to him." (p. 65). That is excellent! If more couples understood that, a lot of needless misunderstanding would be avoided.

As a pastor, I have started using this book in premarital counseling. I think every Christian couple should read this book and do some hard thinking about marriage from a Biblical perspective.

In just over 100 pages, Wilson manages to do what thousands of pages of the normal pablum never get done: explain clearly what marriage is in God's eyes; the exact inter-relationship between headship, service and love; and how to put things on track from the beginning (or put them back on track if need be).

Wilson's deep understanding of the practical outworking of covenants shines through every (often-humorous) paragraph, and his solidly-rooted theology keeps everything completely Christ-centered.

Yet while every theologian should read Reforming Marriage, this is not a book written for theologians: it is a book for every Christian. Your systematic theology prof and your seemingly-retarded teenager will draw equally well from its wisdom. That's quite a feat; and an accomplishment carried out by few so well or as consistently as by Wilson. Praise God that he carries it out with this particularly vital topic.

If your marriage is in trouble, then get this book. I bought five copies of it, and I cycle them amongst my friends. My marriage is in great shape due to the sound, Biblical teachings in this book. It clearly defines the roles of both husband and wife. A must read for all Christians!

Shortly after my husband and I got married, our selfishness began to show as we began to pick eachother apart and argue endlessly. I knew we would soon be divorced if something didn't change - FAST! That is when God laid it on my heart to seek out what it meant to be a godly wife, and start fixing our brand new marriage by starting with my own self first. Between the Books, The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson, and her husband's book, Reforming Marriage, my attitude was transformed, our marriage began its repair, and now I am sincerely in love with the man I married. These books are absolutely life changing, and self-changing, and not for the faint of heart.

Out of the cacaphonous milieu of marriage and relationship books available today, this one stands alone. Even Christian marriage and relationship books typically do little else but dress up pyschotherapeutical orthodoxy up in psuedo-Christian garb. This is the only marriage and relationship type of book that I have read which shines so brightly because of its refreshing adherence to and sole derivation from the author and intender of marriage, God, Who was more than clear in His intentions and purposes for marriage.

If you want your marriage to flow from and be patterned after the completely true and unchanging Word of God, buy and read this book.

Not surprisingly, what is true is also what is most practical in the purest sense of the term. If you don't give two hoots about Christianity or the Bible, incorporating what this book teaches will revolutionize your marriage and your family. Call me if it doesn;t. ;>)

This book changed my life! I thought I understood what marriage was about before I read this! I haven't read a better book on marriage than this one. I use it as a reference book, and read it at least two times a year. Wilson really hits where we are vulnerable, and only an open heart willing to submit to biblical principles will be willing to receive it. A refreshing alternative to the "yippy-skipping" marriage books usually found throughout today's "Christian" bookstores that merely talk about the external issues without address the underlying sin issues.

Being unmarried, I didn't expect Doug Wilson's Reforming Marriage to contain much that I could apply immediately. I was sort of reading it for possible future reference, but was surprised to find it so helpful now.

Mr. Wilson talks about all marriages being a picture of Christ and the Church, and describes how some are good, accurate pictures and others are lies. Since my personal history has not included a lot of close-up views of the good, accurate kind of pictures, the lies are pretty deeply ingrained. While I didn't intentionally read the rest of the book thinking, "This is how Jesus treats me as a member of His Bride, and this is how I'm supposed to respond to Him," I found myself checking my thoughts about Him as well as my own attitudes against that standard. And I found I could believe, at least a little, that I have a strong but gentle, holy but kind Lord after all.

(Adapted from a post on my blog)

This is the most clearly written explanation of Biblical marriage that I have ever read. It is also a picture of marriage that I have never truly seen. The contents of this book go further than I had imagined. I was convicted about my own marriage through reading this book.

Any book about marriage from a Biblical standpoint will have feminists up in arms. This will be true of Reforming Marriage as well. However, Wilson handles the topics of male-headship and the submission of the wife better than anyone I have ever read or heard. However, he spends far more time dealing with what the husband should be than he does explaining what the wife should be. He does not shy away from calling unbiblical husbands dolts and meatheads.

I would dare say that this book is a book that many husbands, even Christian husbands, do not want their wives to read. Why? Because Wilson takes dead aim on the fact that the husband is to be the leader in the home - the husband is responsible before God whether he wants to be or not.

I asked my wife to read this book when I finished it. She, too, is in agreement with this presentation of Biblical marriage.

I found myself agreeing with Wilson almost all the way through. At a few points I disagreed with him, but changed my mind as I read further. On one or two points I still disagree with Wilson, but that does not prevent me from declaring this book a must-read. When you finish this book, I dare say you will want a marriage that looks like the one described herein. I know my wife and I do.

My husband is a godly man. We were not looking for a manual to turn our marriage around. We were hoping to find ways to grow closer to God as a couple. Boy! Did we find them.

Wilson simply reiterates what the Scriptures teach on roles, expectations, respect within the marriage covenant, and many other Biblical issues. His address of modern perspectives and expectations is fabulous. He writes that marriage is what God has created, not man. We discovered that many marriages would not only succeed, but flourish if the intent was to glorify God not ourselves.

Since reading the book, we have become closer and more aligned with the Scriptures. As a wife, I've learned that many of my views were worldly and needed correction. My husband now more fully understands his responsibilities to the family and God.

I'm currently getting married, and this book is what my pastor assigned to me and my wife to be, as our first reading material for pre-marital counseling.

I have read other Wilson books, but I wasn't too thrilled about the style he used within this book. Doctrinally, it is sound and there are no problems, but, the undertones are not quite appropriate in my opinion.

I am very reformed (and I'm always reforming), but when you have someone who does not come from a reformed background, and they somehow fall upon such a book and begin reading it, they may turn away from reformed doctrine entirely. All due to the style a writer presents reformed doctrines or the reformed faith. Doug (though a great writer) writes with sarcasm, and at first glance, may cause some folk to 'knee jerk'. And yes, sarcasm may indeed have a proper place in the world of writing, but should not be over done. And I do understand that some people do not mind such sarcasm, and find it simply encouraging that there are other people in this world who find modern society's ways offensive, chaotic, and/or destructive. And in turn, find peace of mind that they are not alone (which is good for them), and may be the full intentions of the writer all along. But again, the newbie may turn away, when they should instead be nurtured... Anyway, if reformed doctrine or the reformed faith is new to you, and, if and when you read this book, take into consideration the context in which he is writing, and do not read more into what he says, when he spouts out a sarcastic remark here or there. Keep it at face value and will you will find this book a bit more beneficial to you and/or your spouse.

As far as my pre-marital counseling and this book are concerned, it was very helpful. It caused me and my soon-to-be-wife to address issues which we would have probably pushed off until they arose sometime in our marriage, or things which we may never personally experience (Lord Willing), such as the topic of divorce. And now, I know her more deeply than I would have without reading this book, and count myself blessed for doing so. In this light, the book is very enlightening.

For what it's worth, we are now reading 'The Intimate Marriage: A Practical Guide to Building a Great Marriage' by R.C. Sproul. I've barely started and yet look forward to reading this one. And incase you've enjoyed my insight of this book, I'll soon be writing a review for that book as well.

We were also recommended to read 'Preparing for Marriage God's Way', and a book to read during marriage, 'Strengthening Your Marriage', which are both written by Wayne Mack. I'm told these have many helpful questions, to help stimulate useful conversations in regards to marriage.