Customer Reviews

Refrigerator Rights: Creating Connections and Restoring Relationships

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I went to a book signing where the authors were available for questions, and they gave a little presentation based on the ideas presented in "Refrigerator Rights". My first thought, "What a goofy title to a book"! I understand now the reason for the silly title, it makes a difficult and painful topic more palatable to a deadened soul. I never really saw just how far I've gotten from where I should be in this culture. The book does a great job of showing how our culture of silly amusement, me-centered living, and technology have thwarted our ability to relate to others intimately. Basically, I never realized just how much I suck. It gives the reader a clear diagnosis of how messed up he/she is. I realize now why I don't have real lasting peace in my life. I see that I need refrigerator rights. My life has been changed forever.

I don't read self-help books, but I read this one because of an interview with Dr. Miller that I saw in a magazine. It has changed my perspective on my life, my friendships and my family. HIghly recommended.

Everyone will find themselves in this important book. I have watched for years as the self-help "book du jour came" and went. Each would supposedly help people lose weight, save money, have a better marriage, get ahead at work, or achieve any of a number of other personal goals. And we all learned quickly that they NEVER WORK! "Refrigerator Rights" approaches the issues of personal happiness and fulfillment from a completely new angle, proposing convincingly that our contemporary lifestyle and culture has caused us to lose the wide range of extremely close relationships that our ancestors had enjoyed. Whether it is due to relocation for career, busy lifestyle or estrangement from those close to us, we never make the effort to replace those "Refrigerator Rights" relationships when we lose them. This has caused a whole host of problems for us as individuals and as a a society. I won't go into detail here - you need to read this book. It is a quick read, peppered with humor and some of Dr. Miller's personal anecdotes. I have already started to promote more "Refrigerator Rights" relationships in my life.

What begins as a thoughtful essay on the roots of our culture's endemic malaise, quickly develops into a compelling call to personal action. Certainly not self-help in the traditional form, but a well-crafted, thought-provoking book that can shake up your self-perspective. I personally don't want too many people rummaging through my refrigerator - but the central premise of the book left me taking stock of my life-relationships, and making practical plans to improve them.

As a transplant to a big city with no family and few friends close by, I had to work hard to develop meaningful relationships in my life. This book underscores why doing this is so important. Dr. Will Miller is right -- it's those close, "Refrigerator Rights" relationships that make life worthwhile. This book is a great read.

Some people are happier and better people if they spend more of their time alone. For introverts, being with other people is draining. Too much time with others and not enough alone time will make an introvert exhausted and stressed out. The author never brings this up, despite the fact that introverts make up approximately 40% of the population.

I felt that this book did not apply to me, and if I followed his advice, I would end up stressed out, less happy, with occasional meltdowns where I was not my best self and possible hurtful to myself or others. This issue aside, there was not much substance to the book. I feel the author could have expressed his complete idea in an essay or magazine article, instead of stretching it out into an entire book.

This is a wonderful book- well-written, insightful, and engaging. It provides a unique perspective on the isolated American culture and why our relationships suffer in this setting. The book is more than just an analysis of what's hurting our relationships- it makes a convincing argument that we are not helpless American drones but can get up and do something to change our lives. In this regard, the book is very empowering and well worth reading whether you are American or not. Avery Z. Conner, author of "Fevers of the Mind".

"Refrigerator Rights" is a powerful book about the importance of personal connection ... whether physical, emotional or spiritual. Miller and Sparks deftly illustrate how separation from those we love can separate us from our own happiness. Wonderfully written, engaging, and very frank. Read it and weep with joy in knowing that you are not alone in your pain ...