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Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams [Bargain Price] [Paperback]

Barbara Sher
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (74 customer reviews)


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Book Description

March 6, 2007
Beloved author Barbara Sher is back with her next bestseller: a life-making guide for the over-interested and undecided

With her popular career counseling sessions, motivational speeches, workshops, and television specials, Barbara Sher has become famous for her extraordinary ability to help people define and achieve their life goals. Now she tackles a problem that millions of people face today in a universe of infinite possibilities.

Sher identifies someone she calls The Scanner--someone who frequently has a multiplicity of interests, but finds it hard to create a successful life he or she loves because their passions and abilities are taking them in so many different directions. Sher identifies 7 types of Scanners--ranging from the Serial Specialist (someone who learns all about one subject, only to get bored and need to move on to the next) to Sybil (a person with so many areas of interest, she can't finish a thing).

Contrary to popular wisdom, Sher tells Scanners that theirs is a unique ability, not a liability. She also states that they must do everything they love, not zero in on one pursuit at the expense of all others. With dozens of powerful techniques Sher has developed to free people from "goal paralysis," readers will stop thinking of themselves as dabblers or dilettantes, and find innovative ways to live lives of variety, challenge, and joy.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

BARBARA SHER is a business owner, career counselor, and creator of the motivational innovation Success Teams (now operating in career centers, Fortune 100 companies, and entrepreneurial associations around the world). She is the bestselling author of six self-help books, including Wishcraft (over a million copies sold since 1979) and I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was (half a million copies since 1994). She has appeared on national and local radio and television, including Oprah, PBS, Today, 60 Minutes, and Good Morning America. She lives in New York City.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Rodale Books (March 6, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1594866260
  • ASIN: B001810ZFA
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (74 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #774,715 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
98 of 99 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Read the Book and Joined the Forum June 6, 2006
Format:Hardcover
This is a really good book. You need to read it if you are someone who has so many interests you can't seem to get anything done. If everyone you know says you just never grew up and settled down then you are probably a Scanner. Do you have so many interests the books and papers pile up? Do you constantly find things that interest you and you never seem to be able to finish them? You are almost certainly a Scanner, and you need to hear what Barbara Sheer has to say. It can make a big difference.

I was so impressed that I went to her forum at barbarasher.com and signed up. I don't usually like forums because they are a big waste of time. Here people are asking questions, making interesting remarks, and helping each other. It gives you a little insight into yourself just to know there are plenty of other people with the same kind of challenges as yourself, and you might be able to give them some ideas about how you solved a similar situation for yourself.

I do not like self-help books. Everyone has an idea about how you should run your life. This book is not like that. It is more like some basic information on a type of person that receives little or no affirmation in our culture. These people, as Barbara points out, are some of the most creative people around. Their problem, if it is really a problem, is that they cannot give up on pursuing other creative interests that most people give up to concentrate on or two. This book tells you how you can do all those things that really interest you. If you know someone like that you should read the book and pass it on to them. They will probably love you for it. I wish I had found it twenty years ago.
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707 of 777 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Choose a reality check May 30, 2006
Format:Hardcover
Suddenly the self-help world has awakened to a shocking discovery: Careers don't move in a straight line. Some people cannot make a single choice for a lifetime. Some people can't follow traditional career guidance to choose the "right" career. So we have Margaret Lobenstine's Renaissance Soul and now Barbara Sher's Refuse to Choose.

These insights are not new. As I said elsewhere, Rick Jarow anticipated the trend in Creating the Work You Love. He encouraged readers to choose up to 5 goals for a six-month horizon. And in Working Identity, Herminia Ibarra reports research suggesting that career change never did follow a straight line. We just hoped it would.

Sher's major contribution lies in the exercises she has designed. As a career consultant, I'm totally impressed. I particularly like the "Everything I Don't Want List" (p. 216). Unfortunately, as Herminia Ibarra noted in Working Identity, self-analysis is the easy, fun part of career change. Implementing your new direction is tough, and that's where most career changers give up.

And I have to add that I'm generally suspicious of typologies. Most readers will recognize themselves in more than one of Sher's Scanner types.

That said, I believe many readers will feel relieved as they read this book, simply because they feel Sher understands them. She does a great service to readers by debunking career myths, including variations of, "You have one passion and it must be connected with your job."

My concerns come when we're asked to translate these insights into reality. Sher's time management suggestions are creative and (I suspect) practical. For instance, some people can organize their days as if they were still in school, with hour-long "periods" for their different interests. Others can use chunks as small as a commercial break.

But, as a career consultant and career changer, I believe we need to recognize trade-offs more explicitly. Those who dig deeply into a career will almost always gain greater external rewards (i.e., money, status, approval) than those who try to do many different things.

We don't need to be judgmental. We can recognize that certain personality types will be more successful, in general. Research (which Sher does not use) shows that people who are tall and attractive can obtain unique rewards. Life isn't fair.

The book's two greatest weaknesses: Sher tries to match specific careers to scanner types and she shares success stories that range from unique to unbelievable.

For example, certain Scanners will be suited to teaching. But teaching at elementary and high school levels requires sitting through dreary, mind-numbing education courses. College teaching offers more scope for creativity. As she says, a research professor can have fun reading from sociology, psychology, anthropology and English literature, turning these new ideas into research papers.

However, to have freedom for research, you need to find a sufficiently high-quality university. And once on board, there's enormous pressure to specialize. The top researchers in any field tend to have fairly narrow focuses. They learn one technique and one field in great depth. As time goes on, they may add a second of a third. Those who "refuse to choose" pay a price in reputation, translating to marketability and ultimately dollars.

Worse, this book does not address the difficulty of entering certain Scanner-friendly fields, such as motivational speaking, National Park Service jobs, and more. Starting one's own business does offer freedom -- but the vast majority of business owners spend up to 90% of their time on marketing. Read The E-Myth by Michael Gerber.

Finally, some examples seem unrealistic and even dangerous for some career changers. For example, on page 136, Sher describes "Huey," who chose to become a secretary to gain time for reading nineteenth century novels.

"Huey" claims he has 3.5 hours every evening, plus 12 hours weekends and holidays, to fulfill his literary passions. Clearly, Huey isn't married, and for sure he doesn't have children, dogs or a health club membership.

My question: What happens to Huey when he turns thirty, forty or fifty? I'm reminded of Tama Kieves, who wrote This Time I Dance. Kieves, a disgruntled lawyer, took a waitress job "serving curly fries" to her former colleagues. These jobs are fine when you're young -- but as you reach forty and fifty, with no other options, they stop being a Good Enough Job, let alone a lark, and start feeling like a trap.

Once I read a sad posting on a career forum. "Elise" had taken a series of secretarial jobs to fill her passion for self-improvement courses, such as est and esalen. But now, in her 40's, she had little savings and fewer options.

There's something wonderfully satisfying about a sense of mastery, particularly for those in forties, fifties and sixties. Saying "I know how to do this" and "I'm on top of my field" carries a confidence that can be transferred to the pursuit of new dreams.

And sacrificing income doesn't mean just giving up a few restaurant meals or even wearing last season's clothes. Money can't buy happiness but it can avoid a lot of misery. As one of my friends likes to say, "Serving your passion is fine but eventually your passion gets tired of eating mac and cheese."

Bottom Line: I'd recommend this book to my clients as the first step in "finding your dream career." But I'd suggest following inspiration with action, recognizing the tradeoffs and being open to serendipitous twists and turns along the journey.
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95 of 101 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
First of all, I am not a friend of Barbara Sher. I have taken one of her idea classes and have seen her on Public Television. (In case you reader think I am a friend or family member)

What I have ALWAYS been is confused. I am not stupid--actually more on the intellectual side. I have varied interests in the Pre-Raphaelites, travel,hockey, making mosaics, growing a garden, politics, writing, being healthy, quirky little English movies etc etc. And instead of picking one career..I have found myself in menial jobs--retail, shelving books at a library, working reservations for a major airline, temp jobs with insurance companies etc etc. And I am still barely over minimum wage, intellegent and having friends wonder what is wrong with me--or asking if I had ADD.

That could be MANY of you..and I bet if you are looking for this book...you have a sneaking suspicion that you don't need ritalin..but you need some TOOLS to help you be the successful person that you want to be.

This is the book you have been looking for.

Yes, you have diverse interests and your family has poo pooed them..and told you to grow up. You have not understood why. Sadly, it is because you are a scanner--a renaissance person like Leonardo or Thomas Jefferson or Barbara Sher herself. A hundred years ago you would have been admired, now the norm is having a one track mind. This book is to not only identify your status as a Scanner but to also use it to your advantage.

Barbara is a great teacher with years of experience working with people struggling to figure out what their dream work is. This book is for those of us who dream of living a life with lots of variety and still able to pay the bills.

Although I have just recently read her book, I finally feel some clarity and none of the inactivity from feeling overwhelmed by my need to keep my life varied. Years ago, I was encouraged to test for ADD and did not qualify for Ritalin. Now I realize that it is not ritalin that I needed--I needed Barbara Sher and this book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars We Are Not Alone!
Barbara has given clarity to what I once thought was a deficit! Spread the word that Scanners are not only valuable, We are IN!!! Read more
Published 3 months ago by calexg
5.0 out of 5 stars Great bookseller, great book
The seller shipped promptly, and the book was in great condition. I recommend both the seller and the book itself. Read more
Published 3 months ago by D. Scott
3.0 out of 5 stars It reads somewhat like an infomercial
I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Turned page after page feeling sure we'd get to the big point any minute now. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Erin
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally an answer that makes sense!
I've spent years struggling to overcome my love of diverse interests in order to focus on one narrow subject that would define my life. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Ktread20
5.0 out of 5 stars Of great importance to would be Da Vincis
While I would not recommend this book to most (that is, I wouldn't dive in without being sure I was, or cared for, a member of the target audience), it has proven endlessly useful... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Scott Scales
3.0 out of 5 stars Condensed version please
I'm about half-way through the book. Most of the suggestions in this book are good and that's why I recommend it. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Lucrezia
5.0 out of 5 stars Refuse To Choose
I am a huge fan of Barbara Sher. Her first book, Wishcraft (...) revolutionized my life in the late 1970's just as I was going into college. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Terri Merritts
5.0 out of 5 stars As a true Scanner, I still haven't finished this book
I read about 80% of this book and loved every word. Then I got distracted -- and started reading something else. Six or seven other books later, I still intend to finish this one. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Leah Carson
5.0 out of 5 stars The best book ever!!!!
This book saved my life! I was hypnotised by reading about my way of vision things. Before, i was sure, i am a kind of freak. Barbara, thank you so much! Mia from Israel.
Published 19 months ago by Mia
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm a Scanner
There isn't any question that I am a scanner. Nothing else explains the wide range of interests, few of which have anything to do with one another. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Stella Nemeth
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Topic From this Discussion
Scanner but disagree
Most people are probably a mixture of types, plus it's probably fluid and changes with your age and different life circumstances.
Jul 23, 2010 by Nonesuch Explorers |  See all 2 posts
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