Refusing to Be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice (Meridian) [Mass Market Paperback]

John Stoltenberg (Author)

Book Description

Release date: January 1, 1995 | Series: Meridian

Since its original publication in 1989, Refusing to be a Man has been acclaimed as a classic and widely cited in gender studies literature. In 13 eloquent essays, Stoltenberg articulates the first fully argued liberation theory for men that will also liberate women. He argues that male sexual identity is entirely a political and ethical construction whose advantages grow out of injustice. His thesis is, however, ultimately one of hope - that precisely because masculinity is so constructed, it is possible to refuse it, to act against it and to change. A new introduction by the author discusses the roots of his work in the American civil rights and radical feminist movements and distinguishes it from the anti-feminist philosophies underlying the recent tide of reactionary mens movements.

--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

"Co-founder of Men Against Pornography, Stoltenberg considers himself a radical feminist. These 13 searching essays reflect his belief that male sexuality is an artificial, social-political construct, inextricably linked to widely held assumptions of men's 'natural' superiority over women," reported PW.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

In this collection of 13 essays, radical feminist Stoltenberg speaks openly and explicitly on male sexual identity and its interrelation with rape, war, abortion , homophobia, pornography, and injustice. His premise is that male sexual identity is a political and ethical construction connected to male supremacy. Based mostly on speeches delivered at colleges, community organizations, and regional and national conferences, his essays exhort individuals, especially men, to learn a new ethic and to examine their acts in view of the consequences for others. This book will enlighten, please, and anger readers.
- Jeris Cassel, Rutgers Univ. Lib., New Brunswick, N.J.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Plume (January 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452010438
• ISBN-13: 978-0452010437
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #915,619 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

GONERZ is John Stoltenberg's first novel. He first conceived it in conversations with Andrea Dworkin, his life partner of 31 years, and he drew on his earlier years as a playwright when the characters began to come alive.

"I really liked GONERZ. I was charmed by the narrator, by her friends, by the humor and spirit of the style. The book is very assured and I found it very readable, well-paced, a pleasure from page one. The language is alive and lively. I really liked the ending." --Acclaimed science fiction and fantasy novelist MICHAEL MOORCOCK

A long-time activist against sexual violence and a philosopher of gender and ethics, John Stoltenberg is the author of "Refusing to Be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice," "End of Manhood: Parables on Sex and Selfhood, and "What Makes Pornography 'Sexy'?," as well as numerous articles and essays in anthologies. Of "Refusing to Be a Man," Alice Walker said: "This is a book that can change the lives of millions of people. A book that can give hope to the coming generations.... Above all, this book feels true.... I am a better soul for having read it." The New York Times Book Review said of "The End of Manhood": "Stoltenberg's new male...is able to reach beyond gender differences into the humanizing depths of everyone's gender-free soul."

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

63 of 83 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This book changed my life! October 21, 1998

By A Customer

Format:Mass Market Paperback

I read Stoltenberg's book the same year I read Robert Bly's "Iron Yawn" (oops! I meant "Iron John"!) and frankly, I was shocked. Bly's book offended me by offering no real solutions to anything, whereas Stoltenberg not only provided creative and profound insights into the problem of gender ideology, he actually recognized and identified the real problem for what it is, something Bly seems incapable of doing. I was surprised, upon reading this book and seeing how strongly it resonated with my own experiences, to discover that I've been a "radical feminist" all my life. Like most men, I had used the "radical" label to demonize a straw man (or should that be "straw woman"?) version of feminism that no one anywhere actually espouses. It took reading this book for me to understand that I've been one of the radicals all along, and furthermore, that I shouldn't be ashamed of it. Stoltenberg's insightful, and often delightful, commentary on the idea of manhood and the social injustice required to meaningfully maintain it, forever altered my perceptions of the world around me. Goddess (or whoever) bless Stoltenberg! Find this book and read it as if your life depended on it, because it probably does.

19 of 28 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Brave and Refreshing March 12, 2006

By bluetango22

Format:Paperback

John Stoltenberg is a brave man. He shines a light into the murky waters of mens' unconscious fears and desires exposing the fragility of masculinity and the injustice that underpins it.

There is a black and white argument to this book which will discomfort many men; but I believe there are some fundamental truths, many of which form so much part of the fabric of our society, we can no longer see them critically.

At least (most) men.

I don't believe Stoltenberg is trying to deny or repress sexuality, quite the reverse, he is trying to expose the ways in which it is only mens' view of sexuality that is expressed through pornography and the media, and he is critical of it.

For it depicts a type of sexuality which is about domination and subordination and does not uphold any principles of justice or ethics;

'It is now assumed that by giving eroticised domination and subordination free expression, is the fullest flowering of sexual freedom'. Why should this be the norm?

If you are of the persuasion that men are 'naturally' this way, then you will despise this book.

But if you believe that sexuality is more of a spectrum, then you will take this book for what it is; an opportunity for men to critically look at their role in propagating a type of sexual injustice that objectifies and demeans women whilst stereotyping and patronising men.

This book is NOT about demonising men, this book is about highlighting, debating and freeing us from the above.

It is above all about the potential to change an outmoded, unjust, narrow and frankly dysfunctional perspective of sexuality, which does little to foster positive and healthy sexual attitudes between the sexes- if of course that should be of any interest to men!

22 of 33 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Very inspiring to read of a man doing critical gender work! August 30, 1998

By A Customer

Format:Mass Market Paperback

This is excellent and critical analysis in gender studies and the only disappointing thing is that it was written over ten years ago but couldn't be more appropriate to current circumstances for women and men still today. I am so inspired and reheartened to read of a man doing such critical and crucial work in gender analysis. Too often it seems that women are doing the gender work, and when men are coming onto the scene it is in the form of movements and justifications which so offensively act to effectively maintain the power men have in a patriarchal world! Seldom have I come across a man publicising ideas which do actually serve to work with those ideas which promote the empowerment of women. The Lion must learn to eat straw like the Ox, not force the Ox to eat meat like the Lion. Equality is only achieved through the process whereby the ones who stand to lose: the abusers or perpetrators in a system of injustice, are actually prepared to lose - in order to gain. And this is what John Stoltenberg is doing and trying to explain to others in this book. A must read for everyone, most importantly for men engaging in movements in sexual politics for the equality of people on the basis of gender.

8 of 12 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Radical feminism and men's liberation March 12, 2008

By Ivan Boothe

Format:Paperback

Although Stoltenberg's affiliation with Andrea Dworkin and his views on pornography might turn off some readers, his essays on feminism and the ways sexism and masculinity negatively impact men's lives were tremendously important to my understanding of issues of gender, sex and sexuality. While you may not agree with every piece in the book, Stoltenberg's objective -- to formulate a theory of liberation for men that will also liberate women -- is a welcome radical exploration and excavation of men's lives.

5.0 out of 5 stars In View of the Recent Mass Shootings December 17, 2012

By Concerned

Format:Paperback

In view of the recent mass shootings, I think this book deals with the psychological problem at the base - what the shooter feels or doesn't feel. We need to look at how men feel powerful in this country or powerless. This book inspires great discussions. I read it years ago and it is still very true. America wake up!

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Book on Stopping the Abuse of Women!! October 16, 2012

By Victor Ochoa

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Stoltenberg's book is a brilliant reflection on masculine superiority and how it is actually weak and unnatural, to say the least, and thus needs to be socially reinforced over and over again to retain its "legitimacy." How violence against women is perpetuated by this sense of entitlement that men use to subordinate them in the first place. How the hatred of the "other," in women, extends to the hatred of the "other" made manifest in war the world over. Must-reading for the enlightened reader.