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Regret-Free Living: Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom From Unhealthy Patterns Paperback – Bargain Price, May 1, 2011

4.1 out of 5 stars 30 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Arterburn, author of 60-plus books, this times turns his heart and mind to helping readers deal with regret, one of the biggest inhibitors to living the life God most wants you to live. He readily admits his own regrets (girlfriend's terminated pregnancy, failed marriage) as he honestly and pointedly guides readers toward a life of peace, patience and self-control. Arterburn first addresses the signs of an unhealthy relationship, moves on to how to admit the need for help and then to acknowledge one's own part in problems. His trademark humor and honesty make the responsibility pill easier to swallow as he leads readers toward knowing how to withdraw from conflict, keep dignity intact and get rid of baggage of the past. Forgiveness, says Arterburn, is the essential ingredient to living a regret-free life, and he coaches readers on how to reach that point. Arterburn fans new and longtime will find more useful life lessons here, always pointing to God, who is showing us our path along a magnificent, God-centered, regret-free life. (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Arterburn, author of 60-plus books, this time turns his heart and mind to helping readers deal with regret, 'one of the biggest inhibitors to living the life God most wants you to live.' He readily admits his own regrets (girlfriend's terminated pregnancy, failed marriage) as he honestly and pointedly guides readers toward a life of peace, patience and self-control. Arterburn first addresses the signs of an unhealthy relationship, moves on to how to admit the need for help and then to acknowledge one's own part in problems. His trademark humor and honesty make the responsibility pill easier to swallow as he leads readers toward knowing how to withdraw from conflict, keep dignity intact and get rid of baggage of the past. Forgiveness, says Arterburn, is 'the essential ingredient to living a regret-free life,' and he coaches readers on how to reach that point. Arterburn fans new and longtime will find more useful life lessons here, always pointing to God, who is 'showing us our path along a magnificent, God-centered, regret-free life.'" --Publishers Weekly --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Bethany House Publishers (May 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0764208896
  • ASIN: B007PMUBAU
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #882,666 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
Regret-Free Living, by Stephen Arterburn
For many, if not all, of us our greatest desire is to come to the end of our life and declare, "I have NO regrets."
Our minds begin to replay all those incidents that brought pain, shame, regret, and also those that made us laugh and produced feelings of happiness. How can we insure that the last days of our lives won't be lived in constant anguish over what could have been? Perhaps that failed marriage, the estranged friendships or strained parent-child relationships. Maybe the career choices that...well, didn't quite measure up to those "world-changing," at least "leaving our mark" declarations we made as teenagers.

Stephen Arterburn explores many of these, and more mixed with personal and professional experiences he's witnessed in his adult life. He is tender when needed, yet blunt and honest as well.

His book, Regret-Free Living, opens with him sharing one of his greatest regrets and how he dealt with it. Moving from there, he shares the warning signs of unhealthy relationships, then takes his readers--us--on the journey to take responsibility, to embrace our past and who we are, to recognize that though we may have some culpability it does "take two to tango."

He shares with us how to know when we should fight for the relationship and how to fight for it in a God-honoring fashion. There also comes a time to pack it in. Then he brings us to the point of healing with forgiveness, both for self and the other; truly loving as God loves us; restoration and making restitution where necessary.

What I love most about this book is the abundance of Scripture and Mr. Arterburn's insistence that God must be at the center of our world.
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Format: Hardcover
As a Christian Counselor, Stephen Arterburn offers help in the area of relationships. His newest book, Regret-Free Living, is a great resource for those with unhealthy relationships. We all have them. Whether it is a co-worker, family member, or spouse, we are involved in a relationship that doesn't feel right.

Arterburn begins by discussing the "markers of defective relationships (p. 23)" by helping you identify what it is that is creating the unhealthy patterns in your relationships. Whether it's putting yourself first, secrecy, or resentment to name a few, the reader can put themselves in thought as to what is wrong in their failing relationship.

From there, the author helps the reader to admit their mistakes and how to fix the situation. "Living a regret-free life means being honest about everything you did to help create regrets and honest about how you felt when someone else was hurtful to you (p.93)." A person must turn to God for help so that person can be honest and face their mistakes.

Sometimes, though, it seems as though the relationship is not getting better. You've tried everything and it's not going forward. "Not all important relationships, however, will transform for the better; sometimes one of the people is simply not willing to do the work. But before you give up, be sure that you do put forth the effort to make that relationship all that it could be (p.98)." Then the author adds, "if it does end, and you can't fix it, then you'll want to know, for the rest of your life, that you did everything you could to make it right (p.99-99). Eventually, you'll just have to "let it go. Recognize when it's over and let it die the natural death it should (p.102).
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Format: Hardcover
This book gives us tools to use to change our regrets and live regret-free. Arterburn tells us that not only must we forgive others but the biggest obstacle to the life that God plans for us is our inability to forgive ourselves. He actually relates a incident from his past to illustrate this concept. He is very open and honest in relating this major event and the process he had to go through in order to forgive himself and receive forgiveness from the other person involved in the situation. By following this process he shows the reader how much work is involved in the process but how satisfying his life became once he was able to find true self-forgiveness.

I enjoyed this book because it helped me release past regrets from my own life. In parts of the book I felt as though Arterburn was speaking directly to me Perhaps the most important and helpful information I gleaned from reading this book was when I read "don't take on more responsibilty than you actually own for a situation with another person." I have a tendency to focus on my mistakes and deceive myself into thinking I am the sole cause for a situation in my relationships. After reading this book, I will make a conscious effort to accept only my part in a problem.

This book was reviewed for Bethany House Publishers.
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Format: Hardcover
Steven Arterburn, host of the number one Christian counseling talk show, has heard many people talk about their regrets. His latest book talks about how he personally found his way out of shame and regret over some bad choices he made in life, and how we can all live regret-free.

Regret-Free Living shows the reader how to unload all of the bad feelings and thoughts that come from keeping shame bottled up on the inside. The book does not suggest a "feel good" philosophy but rather teaches us that we are to accept responsibility for our actions and work on changing ourselves, with God's grace, mercy and help.

Steven talks about the signs of unhealthy relationships (resentment, animosity, secrecy, selfishness, etc) and how recognizing these signs, can help us face the reality of what we need to change. Steven is clear to point out that "regret-free" living cannot be accomplished without first and foremost putting our hope and trust in God.

My favorite chapter was Chapter 6, which offers the six qualities necessary for a happy, regret-free relationship. All of the information and advice in this book can be applied to every aspect of life from marriage and parenting to co-workers and business relationships. All throughout the book, Steven uses the truth of God's Word and scriptures to validate and support his points and advice.

***** The person who commented above me wasn't sure which Bible translations were being used in this book. The scriptures quoted are taken from the New Living Translation and the New International Version.
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