Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages [Paperback]

Barry W. McCarthy (Author), Emily J. McCarthy (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 15, 2003

Is sex more work than play in your marriage? Do you schedule it in like a dentist appointment? Do you make love once a month, twice at the most?

If you answered yes to these questions, you are among the forty million Americans trapped in a low-sex or no-sex marriage.

Now there is help from nationally acclaimed sex and marital experts Barry and Emily McCarthy, who for years have helped couples break down the barriers that have developed between them, and rebuild closeness and longing. Their groundbreaking ten-step program is designed to get sex and intimacy back into these marriages and revitalize relationships. Crafted by years of clinical practice, Rekindling Desire first shows couples how to root out the "poisons" that inhibit sexual desire: shame, guilt, anger, passivity, as well as medical side effects and physical dysfunctions. With sensitivity and tact, the McCarthys then lay out concrete techniques and effective strategies that help couples increase sexual awareness, confront inhibitions, revitalize desire, and integrate intimacy and eroticism.

An exciting new way to spark and sustain desire, Rekindling Desire confronts the secrecy and stigma of low-sex and no-sex marriages, teaching couples how to enjoy a fulfilling, life-long sexual partnership.

Editorial Reviews

Review

This book brings hope and excitement as it gently unravels the mysteries and misunderstandings surrounding marital sex and helps couples-step-by-step-find the keys to their own secret garden. I highly recommend it.
–Diane Sollee, Director, Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education and smartmarriages.com

Rekindling Desire will prove indispensable for couples with low desire problems and will provide a helpful adjunct for working collaboratively in sex therapy.
–Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D., School of Psychology, University of Ottawa, Canada, editor,New Directions in Sex Therapy

A sensitive practical book that most couples will find useful, written by gifted and respected clinicians, provides a wealth of information gathered from the professional experience of treating couples...
–Taylor Segraves, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry Case Western Reserve University, editor,Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy

...highlight[s] poignant stories of lost initimacy. Read it for a map of how to reunite with tender loving care.
–Lybi Ma, Psychology Today

Barry and Emily McCarthy bring rich experience and insight...Rekindling Desire makes a valuable contribution and provides therapists who use bibliotherapy with a practical and informative resource..
–Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, January 2004

About the Author

Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., is a certified sex therapist and Professor of Psychology at American University. He has published extensively on couples and sexuality and given more than a hundred workshops around the world. Emily McCarthy holds a B.S. in Speech Communication from Southern Illinois University. Having worked for years as a speech therapist, she now collaborates with her husband on books that address issues faced by married couples. This is the seventh book he and his wife, Emily, have co-authored on the subject, including Sexual Awareness, which has sold more than 500,000.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Routledge; 1 edition (January 15, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0415935512
• ISBN-13: 978-0415935517
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,405 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #65 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Sex

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

75 of 77 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is a wonderful couples book!, April 15, 2004

By 

Sallie Foley "sextherapist and educator" (Ann Arbor, MI United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages (Paperback)

I am a sex educator teaching in a Michigan college town. A graduate student told me about Rekindling Desire and how it helped both she and her partner have a much better sex life. I bought Rekindling Desire on her recommendation, read it, and now recommend it to couples of all ages. If a couple want to work on being an `intimate team'-a term that is creatively used in the book-to change their sexual life for the better, they'll find this book honest and clear, explaining lots of common sexuality concerns and making suggestions for how to move forward and solve problems. The book doesn't just cover sex, it really helps couples deepen their relationship and strengthen their intimacy.

The McCarthys' have written other good books about sex, and are known for their conversational, non-textbook way of writing. Since Barry McCarthy is a sex therapist, he understands real people and real people's problems. No time is wasted on blaming; instead there are understandable and doable steps outlining a path to change. Great information, clearly written. For people who want to work together realistically to bring out the best in themselves, this is a wonderful book.

94 of 98 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "A wonderful book", September 3, 2004

By 

Rebecca Pardue (Santa Fe, NM) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages (Paperback)

Finally, an empathetic, informative, non-judgmental approach to understanding and resolving what felt like an overwhelming problem. I was impressed that the book offered such kind, practical advice without assuming a clinical tone. It was clearly written and by following their suggested techniques, my husband and I are truly emerging as an "intimate team". Our thanks to the McCarthy's for their sensitive and sage advice. This book is not for those who wish to take a TV commercial pharmaceutical approach to their sexual issues; however, I would highly recommend it to couples who seek to understand and strengthen all aspects of their intimate relationship.

99 of 104 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A satisfied reader...., July 20, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages (Paperback)

What a surprise to see that the reader from Kalamazoo was disappointed with this book .... Au contraire, I thought the authors did an excellent job of laying out reasons for lack of marital bliss between the sheets, and then presenting great step-by-step strategies and techniques for effecting change.
There were many eye openers:
* Good sex in a marriage contributes 15-20% of marital vitality. Bad sex contributes 50-70% of marital malaise.
* Romantic love is inherently unstable usually ending before marriage or seldom lasting past the first year.
* Sexual desire is based on emotional and sexual intimacy NOT on romantic love or passionate sex.
* YOU are responsible for yourself as a sexual partner. It is NOT the job of the spouse to make you desirous or turn you on.
* Good intentions are not enough. You need a PLAN to enhance your sexual relationship. The most successful strategy is a gradual step-by-step process.
* The most powerful aphrodisiac is NOT an esoteric technique; it is an involved, aroused spouse......
The McCarthys did a fine job of differentiating "media hype" sex,(spontaneous,intense,nonverbal,passionate,perfect)from "real marital sex", (less than half of the time there is equal desire,arousal, orgasm and satisfaction).
I also enjoyed learning about the poisons for sexual desire. It was a jolt to discover that sexual desire is SO easy to kill.
I could go on about the merits of this book.... Suffice it to say; it was a great and informative read. I highly recommend it for all couples, but especially for those grappling with sexual concerns.