Customer Reviews

Relational Intelligence: How Leaders Can Expand Their Influence Through a New Way of Being Smart (Jossey-Bass Leadership Network Series)

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I received Steve Saccone's book from a friend unexpectedly. I had listened to Steve via the Mosaic Podcast and at the Awaken Conference. He serves in LA as a part of Mosaic, where he develops young leaders and some of my friends have worked under his leadership.

This is Steve's first book and it speaks into an often unexplored area of leadership. Steve begins with the reality that many leaders accomplish their goals at the cost of their relationships with those they lead. A leader can show productivity, passion, imagination, and resourcefulness, but he or she can be relationally dumb in interacting with others. I have so many experiences with leaders in the church that knew the Bible well and had seminary degrees but lacked basic people skills that made their work difficult.

Some of my favorite nuggets from the book:
-In the past, authority and credibility were built on status, power or position, but in today's world it's built on power and trust. To be relationally intelligent, we must shift from a positional authority mind-set to the crucial mind-set of relational authority.
-Leaders treat people as a commodity. (OUCH!)
-When we love people well, we become the proof of God.
-Many leaders deflect responsibility and accountability instead of
absorbing it.
-We all have a little bit of Michael Scott in us.
-To be a person is to have a story to tell. (Isak Dinesen)
-If we want to be relational geniuses, we must learn to capitalize on moment's when we see people's values being lived out.

I could list so many great ideas here, but I think Steve makes his goal possible here by the content and context of this book. I think you and I can become more sensitive to our intuition and more aware of the people around us. I think we can develop new habits that are reflective of core values that remind us to value the people we are serving with, not just the task we are bound together in. In this process, "leaders realize that the more people they bring with them, the more powerful the effect they can have on changing the future and making the world a better place."

As the African proverb states, <strong>"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, bring others with you."</strong>

Great book, Steve!

"Ri" addresses how to be relationally "smart". Saccone called it the new smart--which I'm not sure that it is all that new--and goes into guiding you through his thoughts on what Ri looks like and how to develop it in yourself and others. The first half of the book talked a lot about being relationally intelligent, giving many examples related to presenting to groups or large audiences, which could be particularly helpful to leaders who do public speaking. The questions that he suggested you ask yourself to help gage how emotionally present you are prepared to be included questions related to your heart, mind, soul, and strength. I found the questions to be very helpful just to keep a person on track, whether they are trying to be a leader or more relationally intelligent or if they just want a closer walk with God. The chapter about not being a boring person was funny, not because he intended it to be, but because he went on too long and became redundant--and boring. Amusingly, that is the only place in the book where he did that. As a whole the book is very engaging and I could read his passion for leadership throughout. However, I did have a significant departure from agreement in ch. 8, Disproportianate Investor, because he instructs leaders to choose carefully who they "invest" their time in and bases it on Jesus' calling of the disciples. I've read the Bible and don't recall it saying anything about Jesus' selection process, instead it seemed to focus on their willingness. When Jesus said to the guys in the boat, follow me. They went immediately. Jesus told some to not even go bury their dead or say good-bye to their families. Yet they came. It seemed like it was more about the followers willingness to take leaps of faith than it was about Jesus saying, "I'll take this one, not that one." In addition, as someone who taught intermediate grades for ten years in public schools I saw many students make significant changes in their lives, not because of my great leadership, but because for many years teachers had poured love, time, heaps of patience, and guidance on them. So when Saccone said to avoid "investing in" people who have a "consumerist mentality" I couldn't disagree more. Lastly, his choice of terms to avoid "consumerist mentalities" and "diproportionately invest in" people to me reaked of contradiction steeped in a business mentality that seems to be popular in education and churches these days, but I don't see where it is Biblical. If I could visit with Saccone personally, I would recommend Henri Nouwen's book In the Name of Jesus. Nouwen's ambitions and achievements as a leader were challenged when he was charged to "lead" a people that didn't care who he was or who endorsed his latest book. And although they weren't necessarily going to go on to lead a "proportionately" large number of people themselves, he found that these people "lead" him into a better understanding of what it means to "lead" others in the name of Jesus.

People with high IQs are not necessarily good at relating to other people, because inter-personal relationships require a different form of intelligence. There has been much recent literature about emotional intelligence; now Steve Saccone has written a book about Relational Intelligence, with a matching test available on the website [...]

According to Steve, there are six defining roles of a relational genius. The Story Collector is someone who can draw out other people's stories. The Energy Carrier knows how to enliven the mood in a room. The Compelling Relator knows how to get people interested. The Conversational Futurist knows how to use a conversation to create change. The Likeable Hero establishes authentic connections that make people feel valued. The Disproportionate Investor invests time and resources into a few carefully chosen people.

It seems to me that the online self-assessment, while thought-provoking, suffers from a problem common to many self-assessment tests: the relationally unintelligent person is likely to rate himself too highly, and thereby achieve a higher score than he deserves, because he is unaware of his own deficiencies. Nonetheless, the book provides interesting insights and should be useful for most people who have leadership responsibilities in a church.

Steve Saccone defines the long standing syndrome of "...leaders who remain completely unaware of his (or her) own contradictory philosophies, offensive insecurities, and oblivious way..." as the Michael Scott Syndrome. This use of culturally iconic humor helped open the doorway to my heart and allowed me to take an inward look into how I relate to family, friends, co-workers and the great people I lead. [...]
Relational Intelligence: How Leaders Can Expand Their Influence Through a New Way of Being Smart (J-B Leadership Network Series)

At first I wasn't terribly satisfied with Relational Intelligence (RI). The leading chapters had me thinking that maybe this book would try to herd me into the suburban Christian mindset that has become a hated stereotype by atheists, agnostics, and theists alike. I thought maybe it would tell me to plaster on a smile and hide my troubles from people so that they would think I was a superhuman representative of Christ. Or maybe to look people in the eyes when I'm shaking their hands and feign interest in any and all subjects they bring up.

Boy was I wrong. The further I delved into RI the more I realized that my presumptions were entirely wrong. Saccone doesn't to fake a smile or feign interest. He wants us to find our true passions and invest in them. He \ wants us to realize the potential of investing in people and the many things that can be gained from servitude.

He doesn't tell us to look for the kid who doesn't follow his passion and hides in the corner. He tells us to seek out people who are doing what they love or are looking for new ways to change the world. Investing in people who are willing to invest in other people is the best way to see a return in our investment (it makes more sense when he says it).

Saccone realizes that while we should love everyone, there are ways to love people which are more effective and have a larger influence. He also emphasizes how important it is that we remove the log from our eyes before trying to get the sawdust out of our brother's.

All in all this was a very interesting read. I recommend it to anyone, even if you already consider yourself relationally intelligent.

As a pastor of a congregation, I found Relational Intelligence an excellent book on improving leadership. I plan on reading it with my worship leader for continuing education and I've shared it with the lay leadership for their consideration. The beauty of the book is that it has application not only for leaders inside the church, but any leader in any field. Steve does a great job of helping us understand and improve upon the art of leadership.

Steve Saccone does an excellent job addressing a very important element on the softer side of leadership - relational intelligence. The author believes that all of us can improve as leaders if we understand, and with some intention pursue improving, six key factors which determine relational intelligence. These six factors or roles are:

1. The Story Collector
2. The Energy Carrier
3. The Compelling Relator
4. The Conversational Futurist
5. The Likeable Hero
6. The Disproportionate Investor

The first half of the book, and an associated (free) online assessment help us understand the importance of the relational aspect of leadership, and what are our own strengths and weaknesses. The greatest benefit of the book however is that Saccone shares some practical ways we can try to improve in these areas. Simply knowing you are lacking in relational or social skills without hope to change it would be rather frustrating. While he can't guarantee we'll become a relational genius, the book does offer hope (and practical tips) for how to take things up to the next level.

What I particularly liked about the book is that the suggestions are not merely for extroverts or social butterflies. Many ideas are quite applicable to introverts, as the focus is more on drawing the best out of other people and asking good questions rather than trying to be something you're not. These suggestions are not for those who already have great charisma.

I'm not sure when it happened but somehow the idea of leadership got dull, boring, and a descriptor for that guy above you in the org chart that tells you what to do. Positional Leadership is the lowest form of leadership, and I'll venture to say that Steve would agree. That's why I love Steve's book. In Relational Intelligence he casts a vision for what it looks like to lead a interesting, engaging and compelling life in relationship with others. I am enthused by a redefinition of leadership that challenges everyone to life their greatest life possible and create a wave of intentionality to pull out the best in others along the way. It's no wonder that Steve consults with The Gallup Organization, helping individuals and organizations maximize their unique talents and strengths.

I'm a practical guy, so inspiration only goes so far. Relational Intelligence connects the reader with 6 "How-Tos" in developing their own "RI". There's also a handy online indicator that will let you measure your present effectiveness in each area.

Overall, an inspiring and practical read. One that reminded me that we're all leaders in our own sphere of influence.

This book introduces leadership principles that if practiced, will jump start your relationships to another level. Best leadership book I have ever read! A must read for those in a leadership position.

I love this book! It is definitely a fun and insightful read. I would totally recommend RI to all leaders interested in inspiring the best out of those they lead. It has given me a lot to think about, as I strive to become a person who maximizes the influence I have.