Customer Reviews

The Relationship Principles of Jesus

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Tom Holladay, a teaching pastor at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, has learned well from his senior pastor, bestselling author Rick Warren. In a sense, THE RELATIONSHIP PRINCIPLES OF JESUS picks up where Warren's THE PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE left off. Warren himself asserts this in the foreword; where his book focused on personal renewal, he writes, Holladay's focuses on the next logical step: relational renewal.

Nothing is more important than relationships, Holladay states in the opening chapter, and no one was more of an expert on relationships than Jesus was. Drawing on Jesus' practices and teachings, the author structures his presentation of relationship principles much like THE PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE, with 40 chapters to be read daily over 40 days and encourages readers to follow that daily reading plan rather than read ahead. Good luck with that.

The daily chapters support one of six relationship principles that also give structure to the book: placing the highest value on relationships, loving as Jesus loves, communicating from the heart, judging as you will be judged, recognizing servants as "the greatest" and treating others as you want to be treated.

The chapters are intended to be read slowly and thoughtfully. A sidebar within each chapter provides a relevant meditation based on a portion of Scripture; a section at the end of each chapter highlights a "point to ponder," a related Bible verse, a question to consider and the title of the following day's chapter. Readers will likely find it difficult to stick to a chapter a day, either because they're eager to discover what's next --- or because they're hoping to discover something new. Much of the material is basic and very familiar to long-time Bible readers.

Even so, Holladay makes important points that are too often missed or forgotten. One of the best examples is found in a chapter on communication (you have to wait until Day 21 for that chapter if you've chosen not to read ahead). There Holladay shows how Jesus responded to criticism (he answered clearly and confidently); doubt (he offered proof); ridicule (he said nothing); entrapment (he offered truth); and rejection (he moved on). Many a strained relationship could be healed or improved by following Jesus' example, as presented by the author.

Holladay writes in a casual, conversational style, using anecdotes from his own life (as well as confessions that reveal his vulnerability and transparency) and stories from the lives of others to illustrate his points. "As I looked to learn about relationships from the example of Jesus," Holladay writes in the introduction, "I felt a little like a middle school algebra student thrown into a university trigonometry class. I was in over my head. Sometimes I had to admit that I didn't even understand the questions, let alone the answers." That's a refreshing admission from a pastor at what has become one of the best-known churches in America, if not the world.

If your own relationships --- whether they be with God, other people or yourself --- are suffering, this 40-day journey may be just the prescription you need to follow. THE RELATIONSHIP PRINCIPLES OF JESUS would also make a great Christmas gift, especially if the recipient is a fan of THE PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE.

--- Reviewed by Marcia Ford

This is a great book to have the whole congregation read together. As my pastor had us do, it was excellent to be reading and having our relationship priorities challenged by Holladay for the whole of our Church. We were able to grow and encourage each other with ideas and thoughts from the book, and share stories of how we grew in our relationship principles.

It is, in some ways, similar to The Purpose Driven Life, in that we read one chapter per day and are challenged to live out some of the presented ideas. But, as the title of the book suggests, we are to grow in our relationships with one another by following the words of the Christ himself. Holladay propounds many of Jesus' teachings, and places them in a format that we can follow day by day.

Great for a solo read, and (in my opinion) better to read as a group.

This book is AWESOME. It follows the format of 40 days of Purpose (Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren). It coaches you through developing more loving relationships that follow the principles of Jesus Christ.

Our church is doing a group study on this and the message and outcomes are very powerful.

This is an excellent book! It's an easy read that causes you to look deep into yourself and truly evaluate, "How good am I at carrying out the types of relationships Jesus really wants me to have?" Not only does it cause introspection, but it also gives you some practical steps and examples to assist you in your journey towards TRUE transformation into a Mature Christian. One of the best books I've read in a long time:)

I teach individuals in for-profit and not-for-profit organizations the skills that can lead them to better relationships , but this book provides the real keys of motivation and power for improved relationships. Once you have God's motivation and power, you don't need me. The skills become natural and easier.Strengthening the Organizational Heart: 15 Timeless Lessons from Legendary YMCA Leader John R. Mott

I read this book as part of a Bible Study group through Saddleback Church. It was a good read and led to healthy discussions on what it means to behave as a "Christian". I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in learning more about good and bad behaviors in a Biblical context. Be ready to challenge yourself, including preconceived notions on grace, love, forgiveness and much more.

I loved To Holladay's book. We used this book along with the Rick Warren 40 days of Love study. It's a great study.

So today I just finished the 40th and final day in this journey. Learning about the way Jesus related to others is a wonderful way to allow us to think about the way we do the same. For myself, this read gave me a clearer definition on many of the relationship principles taught by Jesus. Not only did it allow me to see what I was doing wrong, it also gave me a sense of wanting to do more. Jesus died so we could learn to love the way He did. It doesn't mean that we are going to be walking around curing others and waking others from the dead. But it will give us a way to realize how we should act towards one another. Loving one another the way Jesus loved us is not about being nice to your friends and family, it is about loving everyone, no matter who they are or where they are from. Read the 40 days of the Relationship Principles of Jesus for yourself and try to follow each day's lesson. Hopefully, you will have learned a thing or 2 about Jesus and His forever love for us.

As Saul of Tarsus sat at the feet of Gamaliel, in "Relationship Principles...", Tom Holladay invites us to sit at the feet of The Master. This 40 day lesson plan is the stuff that great, well-lived lives are made of. Tom's daily devotional examines the meaning of Jesus' words and in the Saddleback tradition, breaks it down so that a child can understand. These lessons are uncomplicated and user friendly and penetrating. A great read that begs to be applied!

Our small group (meeting weekly) is using this book to go along with Rick Warren's "40 Days of Love" class. Expertly written, it offers expert insight and basic principles to form deep, lasting relationships with others in your life. Even if one strips out the religious aspect of the discussion, there are valuable tools for everyone to use that are presented in this book.