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Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner [Kindle Edition]

Phillip C. McGraw
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (184 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $8.99
Kindle Price: $7.99
You Save: $1.00 (11%)
Sold by: Hachette Book Group

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Book Description

As a follow-up to his bestselling book Life Strategies, Oprah acolyte Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., moves from aiding the aimless individual to coaching the disconnected couple. McGraw has distilled his more than two decades of counseling experience into a seven-step strategy he calls "Relationship Rescue."

"I'm prepared to kick a hole in the wall of the pain-ridden, unhappy maze you've gotten yourself into, and provide you clear access to action-oriented answers and instructions on what you must do to have what you want," says Dr. Phil. His aim is to expose and eliminate the saboteurs that cause senseless damage to already-fragile marriages, and, like an emotional root canal, to replace them with values he says provide positive results. If you follow Dr. Phil's strategy, he will lead you on a precise journey to uncover your heart and then share it with your partner as part of taking the "risk of intimacy."

Dr. Phil leads you to "reconnect with your core" in the first five steps of his seven-step strategy. By no means a quick fix, there are in-depth and rigorous questionnaires, surveys, tests, and profiles that require a "brutally candid" mindset, with such fill-in-the-blanks as "List five things that today would make you fall out of love with your partner." With this internal work accomplished, you'll then move on to reconnecting with your partner during a two-week, half-hour-a-day short course. As a "dyad," you and your loved one take turns giving monologues on topics such as "The most positive thing I took away from my mother and father's relationship was..."

Once the "reconnection" has been established, Dr. Phil says the work shifts to a management role, as relationships are always a work in progress. Dr. Phil humorously refers to his own marriage throughout the book, sharing his mishaps and victories in learning to accept and enjoy what he sees as fundamental but complementary differences between men and women. --John Youngs


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

As a follow-up to his bestselling book Life Strategies, Oprah acolyte Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., moves from aiding the aimless individual to coaching the disconnected couple. McGraw has distilled his more than two decades of counseling experience into a seven-step strategy he calls "Relationship Rescue."

"I'm prepared to kick a hole in the wall of the pain-ridden, unhappy maze you've gotten yourself into, and provide you clear access to action-oriented answers and instructions on what you must do to have what you want," says Dr. Phil. His aim is to expose and eliminate the saboteurs that cause senseless damage to already-fragile marriages, and, like an emotional root canal, to replace them with values he says provide positive results. If you follow Dr. Phil's strategy, he will lead you on a precise journey to uncover your heart and then share it with your partner as part of taking the "risk of intimacy."

Dr. Phil leads you to "reconnect with your core" in the first five steps of his seven-step strategy. By no means a quick fix, there are in-depth and rigorous questionnaires, surveys, tests, and profiles that require a "brutally candid" mindset, with such fill-in-the-blanks as "List five things that today would make you fall out of love with your partner." With this internal work accomplished, you'll then move on to reconnecting with your partner during a two-week, half-hour-a-day short course. As a "dyad," you and your loved one take turns giving monologues on topics such as "The most positive thing I took away from my mother and father's relationship was..."

Once the "reconnection" has been established, Dr. Phil says the work shifts to a management role, as relationships are always a work in progress. Dr. Phil humorously refers to his own marriage throughout the book, sharing his mishaps and victories in learning to accept and enjoy what he sees as fundamental but complementary differences between men and women. --John Youngs

From Publishers Weekly

Oprah's relationship expert and the author of the hugely popular Life Strategies, McGraw offers a challenge to readers in troubled marriages. (Though he refers to "relationships," his comments about the roles of men and women make it obvious that McGraw has mostly traditional marriages in mind.) With typical frankness, the Dallas psychologist declares that the underlying reason that "your relationship is in trouble [is] because you set it up that way." Traditional relationship counseling doesn't work, McGraw says, so he dares readers to follow his multistep plan for "reconnecting," which demands honest exploration, through exhaustive self-tests and questionnaires designed to define each partner's needs and expectations. The last step of McGraw's program is probably the most difficult and rewarding: 14 days of structured reconnection exercises in which the partners share their deepest feelings. By participating with the required level of commitment, candor and seriousness, couples would seem to guarantee enhancing their relationships. Despite the strengths of his program, McGraw's compelling television presence doesn't translate well to the page. He reminds readers so often that the "reconnecting" process will not be easy or fun that at times he seems more hectoring than persuasive--not that this is likely to matter to his viewers and fans. One-day laydown on February 8; television and radio satellite tours. (Feb.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1614 KB
  • Print Length: 354 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0091884179
  • Publisher: Hyperion (September 1, 2001)
  • Sold by: Hachette Book Group
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0069YN4O0
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #26,614 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
270 of 277 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Relationship Foundation, Improvement, and Rescue June 21, 2000
Format:Hardcover
This book deserves many more than five stars. It is as close as you can get to having a hands-on guide to improving your relationships as you can get without having a trained counselor present.
It's too bad that most people will take on this book because they have a bad or failing relationship. It would be much better to start with this approach in the beginning. I hope marriage advisors, parents, living together couples, and engaged people will become familiar with this book and recommend it to others.
The book is extremely direct. The author makes it clear that you have to first change yourself before you can change you relationship.
The book is extremely well structured for easy use both as a book and as a workbook. It is divided into seven steps (define and diagnose where the relationship is now; get rid of your wrong thinking about relationships; find out what you are doing to hurt the relationships; internalize the values needed to build and maintain strong relationships; the necessary format for a strong relationship; and how to reconnect and manage the relationship).
Each section is filled with diagnostic questions for you and your partner to use, as well as directions for implementing what you learn.
The process involved is a good one. It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better.
The steps are extensive, but you can take them in bite-sized amounts. Before you are done, you will be sharing what you have done with your partner. I have to believe that anyone who was told that their partner had been working on these questions and exercises would be very impressed by the commitment to the relationship that this effort represented.
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140 of 141 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Gets Serious May 27, 2000
Format:Hardcover
As a practicing psychologist, I have seen a number of self-help books that have "useless" written from the get-go. Phil MacGraw's "Relationship Rescue" is NOT one of those useless, quick fix manuals. People who are familiar with Neuro Linguistic Programming will see his models instantly. As other reviewers have mentioned, the emphasis here is that each partner sees how they individually are "at cause" for relationship problems through a series of short and direct questions (i.e. "What did you do today that contributed to or contaminated your relationship?"). This program is not a quick fix, though, and couples may even need to go through the questions more than once. Of most use are the dyads that MacGraw gives couples as "homework" to cover all aspects of what makes a relationship work. And, make no mistake, MacGraw is also quite blunt in his assessment of how men and women view relationships differently, and how often those views are just an excuse for not doing the work. Just as there are different people, there is probably no one book to help people recover from relationship shock, but this is an easy-to-use readable manual that will help the vast majority of people who are ready to end a relationship but do not want to do that until every stone has been turned. Guaranteed to help.
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145 of 150 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Second Opinion.... August 18, 2000
Format:Hardcover
As usual, Phil McGraw is steps ahead of the rest of us in sorting out what is *really* going on in relationships.
Refreshingly, he begins the book by questioning the therapeutic standards too often given to the thousands of couples in trouble. "The divorce rate in America refuses to drop below fifty percent, and twenty percent of us will divorce not once but twice in our lifetime. Clearly, pleasant and generic instructions on how to communicate better or theoretical musings that give you great insights about relationships just weren't going to cut it fifteen years ago and won't cut it now. " Obviously (to paraphrase him), couples therapy as we have known it isn't working.
You can watch him often on Oprah, but this book is the next best thing to either watching him there, or having him as your personal therapist.
This book is primarily for relationships 'on the rocks' - the first steps are set up to evaluate and understand what your relationship is, how it got this way (no surprise, it didn't fall apart on its own, or because of your partner). The Seven Steps are not simple or simplistic, but provide structure for thought and more. This book is not about what's wrong with your partner and how to fix him or her. It is about the person reading the book -- you!
This would be a great book for new couples to read together (and for this price, why not order one for you and one for your loved one, and read them first in private, then together), not just before they are in crisis, but before they decide to marry. When the relationship is still strong, new, fresh, it is more likely that both people will be willing to talk openly about what they expect and want, and to be able to use the truly helpful instructions on how to stay together.
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113 of 116 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Creating, Improving, and Rescuing Your Relationships February 13, 2001
Format:Hardcover
Relationship Rescue is my pick as the top book of 2000.
This book deserves many more than five stars. It is as close as you can get to having a hands-on guide to improving your relationships as you can get without having a trained counselor present.
It's too bad that most people will take on this book because they have a bad or failing relationship. It would be much better to start with this approach in the beginning. I hope marriage advisors, parents, living together couples, and engaged people will become familiar with this book and recommend it to others.
The book is extremely direct. The author makes it clear that you have to first change yourself before you can change you relationship.
The book is extremely well structured for easy use both as a book and as a workbook. It is divided into seven steps (define and diagnose where the relationship is now; get rid of your wrong thinking about relationships; find out what you are doing to hurt the relationships; internalize the values needed to build and maintain strong relationships; the necessary format for a strong relationship; and how to reconnect and manage the relationship).
Each section is filled with diagnostic questions for you and your partner to use, as well as directions for implementing what you learn.
The process involved is a good one. It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better.
The steps are extensive, but you can take them in bite-sized amounts. Before you are done, you will be sharing what you have done with your partner.
Read more ›
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Very practical ideas and guidance.
Covered the subject very well. I did not like the different quizzes/ questionnaires especially when they referred back to a piece.
Published 13 days ago by Dale Ertzinger
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow
All I can say is if you're in an emotionally abusive relationship or are simply unhappy with your partner, read this book. Read it twice. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Night E.
5.0 out of 5 stars Such a great tool with AMAZING information and insights!
The assessments were realllly powerful to use, and teach you a LOT while going through them.. Helped me realize my significant other is actually doing a lot more good than I give... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Lauryn L Dickinson
2.0 out of 5 stars Nothing new
It's Ok, but basically nothing new here. Much of it you've already read in magazine articles. Sorrry, save your money.
Published 1 month ago by C. Murphy
5.0 out of 5 stars Right On Target
I read this book as my relationship was on rocky shores. By reading and doing all the exercise, the book put my relationship in the danger zone and predicted that if nothing... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Seraphine
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a great book
I have started to read this one it is great. Even though my husband and I have a great relationship. It is very interesting. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Leslie E. Simpson
5.0 out of 5 stars Super serious relationship repair course
Love this! Quite intensive, IMO. Beets spending money on a shrink. Just get serious and get to work. Saving a relationship is paramount. Read more
Published 2 months ago by William H. Bonnie
2.0 out of 5 stars Just as workbook, tough to read.
I was over whelmed with the language of this book. I got this with the workbook, we all could use a hand with relationships. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Beth
5.0 out of 5 stars Every man, woman or teen should read
This book is a must read for anyone wanting a better relationship with their partner, or children. Leave in the bathroom, trust me your mate will pick it up and learn from it... Read more
Published 2 months ago by RaeRae Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed us.
I am engaged and planning to get married in October but the relationship had reached the breaking point and I knew that if we didn't find some way to change our behavior patterns... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Michell.DA
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More About the Author

Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., has worked in the field of human functioning and strategic life planning for over twenty years. Dr. McGraw is co-founder and president of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., America's leading litigation consulting firm, and has been associated with some of the highest-profile cases in the country, including Oprah's highly publicized "Mad Cow" case. A professional psychologist, he appears regularly on Oprah as her resident expert on human functioning. He lives in Dallas.



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