A Relentless Hope: Surviving the Storm of Teen Depression (Paperback)

by Gary E. Nelson (Author)
Key Phrases: wedding dinner, afflicted teen, depressed teen, The Hurler, Other Things, Wrestling Holds (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
Depression and related illnesses threaten to wreck the lives of many teens and their families. Suicide driven by these illnesses is one of the top killers of these young people. How do teens become depressed? What does depression feel like? How can we identify it? What helps depressed teens? What hurts them? How do families cope with teen depression?

In A Relentless Hope Gary Nelson uses his experience as a pastor and pastoral counselor to guide the reader through an exploration of these and many other questions about teen depression. Nelson has worked with many teens over the years offering help to those who find themselves confronted by this potentially devastating attacker. The author also uses the story of his own son's journey through depression to weave together insights into the spiritual, emotional, cognitive, biological, and relational dimensions of teen depression. Through careful analysis, candid self-revelation, practical advice, and even humor, this pastor, counselor, and father reminds us that God's light of healing can shine through the darkness of depression and offer hope. A Relentless Hope is written for teens, parents, teachers, pastors, and any who walk with the afflicted through this valley of the shadow of death.

About the Author
Gary E. Nelson, DMin, is a United Methodist minister who for thirty years has worked with teens and their families as a local church pastor and as a pastoral counselor. He currently pastors a church in West Virginia.

Product Details

• Paperback: 137 pages
• Publisher: Wipf & Stock Publishers (May 15, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 155635309X
• ISBN-13: 978-1556353093
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #311,046 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!, October 23, 2007

By	Wits'End (jacksonville fl) - See all my reviews

I ordered this book when I was at my wits' end. Our son has been suffering from deep depression and anxiety following a traumatic beating two years ago and has experienced rages, school refusal, and some violent outbursts. My husband and I have been trying to find a "fix" and have taken him to several psychiatrists, social workers, and a psychologist. He has resisted all overtures of help and stops taking medication as soon as he feels better. Recently, my son told me, "You don't know what my problem is. Stop trying to find out what it is, and stop trying to fix me." I identify with many of the author's experiences with Tom, and I found his description of the family's journey enlightening. I feel the truth of much that he says. How brave of him to step back and allow his son to go the unconventional route. How futile it is to lock horns and exhaust each other! I am not a churchgoer, but I appreciate the spirituality of this journey and the role of grace in Tom's healing. I found this book the most real of all the books I have read on teen depression, and it has given me a lot of hope for our situation. I have been searching for steps to follow to fix my son. I realize now that healing from depression is a much more nuanced process and will involve trial and error, patience, time, love, and grace. Thank you for this inspired work.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Review from a teen therapist, December 27, 2007

By	Carey Gauzens, LCSW (Washington DC) - See all my reviews

Methodist pastor and psychotherapist, Gary Nelson, has written a book which is a "must read" for every parent of teenagers. The teen years are filled with the ups and downs of a hormonal and emotional roller coaster, as adolescents make their way in the world, begin forming their identity as adults and finally move into completing the developmental task of making their own way in the world, and breaking away from their parents. At best, it is a tumultuous time. But for many teens, as Gary knows all too well, it is also a private hell, besieged with profound lows, uncontrolled anger and misguided efforts to control their pain through drug and alcohol abuse, reckless behavior and even suicidal feelings and thoughts.

Although many books have been written on parenting teens, Gary's book is unique in that he speaks to the issue from the point of view of pastor, therapist, and perhaps most importantly: father of a depressed teen. In this book, originally titled, "Just Keep Loving Them," Gary opens up the doors of his own home and family history, and allows us to see the painful, yet ultimately redemptive, journey that he and his family took with his oldest son, Tom.

Tom became depressed and school phobic in his early adolescence, and he and his family suffered through years of efforts to help him with his depression before he ultimately found his way out of the dark night of the soul that he was experiencing. Gary's approachable style and unflinching honesty allows the reader a look into the world of loving parents, trying desperately to help their beloved son, having to hold onto only faith and that, surely, please God, this ordeal must have some healing at the end of the journey. As his original title shares, Gary and Tom, and the rest of the family, learned that what worked for them was to just keep loving him through all of the pain, the ups and downs, and the discouraging and seemingly endless backslides and impediments to progress.

As a therapist who has worked with countless teens, and a pastor who has worked with youth for much of his life, Gary has a unique perspective on the issue of teen depression, and he works in his book to tell the lay reader not only his son's story, but also crucial information about teen depression and anxiety. As a therapist who specializes in work with teenagers, I deeply wish that every parent who brings their child in to see me would read this book. There is compassion, humor, sensitivity and plain old honesty about the frustrations, failed attempts and desperation that accompany the parents of an adolescent on the journey to get their child healing.

One final caution for the reader: Because I worked closely with Gary during the years that he was, "going through the storm" with Tom, I am personally aware of how very much he advocates individual and family therapy for adolescents suffering from depression and anxiety. In spite of this belief, however, it is possible for the reader to conclude from Gary's book that "it can be done without therapy," since there are few references to therapy in the book. I know for a fact from working with Gary that this is NOT his position at all, and I caution any parent, pastor or teen reading the book to remind themselves as they turn each page: "Do all of this with the help of a pastor, pastoral counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist. Do not try to do it all on your own." As Gary so poignantly learned, and has so honestly shared in his story, even a trained therapist and longtime pastor, with a wife who is an excellent nurse, can still not independently "cure" their child of depression and its devastating effects.

This book is an absolute must read for parents, teens, teachers, pastors and counselors dealing with teenagers. It opens one's eyes to the "back story" behind many teens' angry and seemingly unfathomable impulsive and illogical behavior. And the drumbeat, and heartbeat, which accompany his story, steadily keep reminding us of the aspect more important than any treatment, than any behavior plan, than any parental choices:

Just keep loving them.
Just keep loving them.
Just keep loving them.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A well-rounded, realistic, clinical, and personal view of teen depression and what helps, July 21, 2007

By	laugh love live (Maine, USA) - See all my reviews

This book is a new and different approach to the treatment and understanding of teen depression. Gary Nelson lets readers know that there is hope in treating depression and that it is possible to weather the storm of depression. Gary Nelson uses his personal experience with his son and his family to drive the book and let it's readers know that even when things seem at there worst there is still hope and love. Gary Nelson also uses his in depth knowledge of depression from a clinical and spiritual background as well. I also found that the book was a highly enjoyable read and there was humor throughout the entire book. This book is a must read for anyone who wants to learn ANYTHING about Teen Depression!