Customer Reviews

The Reluctant Miss Van Helsing

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

Wow- this was significantly better than the first in the series, THE REMARKABLE MISS FRANKENSTEIN. Jane Paine Van Helsing is a very likeable character. Her father is the drill sergeant of vampire killing and has taught her from an early age how to kill vampires in a myriad of ways, usually involving the use of the Van Helsing stakes. Unfortunately for Jane, she gets nauseated at the sight of blood and is absolutely terrified of the spiders that tend to populate the cemeteries and crypts where vampires are usually found. Jane would prefer to be bird watching, and much to the embarrassment of her family has never successfully staked a vampire. Oh she has tried, generally resulting in ruining her gown and causing great amusement for her cousins. Clair Frankenstein Huntsley, Jane's best friend and the main character from the first book in the series, has the hare-brained idea to matchmake Jane and the Master Vampire of the city, Neil Asher, the Earl of Wolverton. Meanwhile, Jane is determined to please her father and attempts to stake Asher, only to have the two of them found in a seemingly compromising situation. And did I mention that Jane also staked Asher in the rear end? Needless to say, Asher reluctantly marries Jane and it is only when the true villain of the story, the infamous Dracul, attempts to make Jane his bride that Asher fully realizes his feelings for Jane. This book was funny from beginning to end with numerous plays on words and intermingling of history. I was particularly amused with the play on words involving Madame and Colonel Saunders and the house of ill repute, the Birds of Paradise Club. This book is highly recommended! I'm glad I gave Minda Webber a second chance as she truly delivered with this hilarious novel.

How many times does the reader really need to be reminded that our heroine is a plain Jane? Apparently about 30 times or so to make sure we get the fact she's not a babe. Fine. She's plain. Move on.

When I find myself talking to the heroine, telling her to get a backbone, it's always a bad sign. Jane is brave on occasion, but is an utter doormat and victim when dealing with her father, another person who reminds us Jane isn't pretty. Her willingness to be abused by every man in her life made me a little sick.

And, the sad attempts at humor by changing cliches and sayings into vampiric mottos got tiring very quickly.

The book had a great premise, but a good editor would have made a huge difference in this book.

I read vampire novels (you can see my reviews of dozens of them). I read Regency romances (and have reviewed a few). So you'd think that something that purports to be about a Regency-ish vampire hunter would be right up my alley, right? Well, it would be, if it were well done. But I'm picky about "well-done." I insist on at least the basics of characterization and plot, and a bit of historical accuracy in my historical romances, and dialogue that's witty. This book fails on all those counts.

It falls most seriously short on historical accuracy and period atmosphere. Some of that is deliberate; the author is trying so hard to get in sly puns and allusions to 20th-21st century pop culture that she deliberately stretches the way the characters talk. But other anachronisms are accidental and annoying - references to going to Plan B if Plan A doesn't work; references to someone's ego (I notice that one in many historical romances; people seem to space over the fact that we didn't start using that terminology until Freud laid it out at the turn of the 20th century...) Incidentally, the book is allegedly set in 1828, which is technically post-Regency, but not yet Victorian. There's a reference to Dr. Jekyll, even though Stevenson didn't write "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" until 1885. And so on.

Some of the plot devices were so predictable as to be passe - our heroine is carrying a flask of brandy and a vial of holy water in the same pocket; of COURSE she's going to accidentally throw the brandy instead of the holy water. (Let's never mind how our heroine has a liquor flask in the pocket of a light muslin gown; let's never mind that gowns of the period did not have pockets as we know them...)

And many of the allusions to pop culture were not worth making - the version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," for example, was (a) stupid; (b) not very well done as to imitating meter and rhyme, and (c) totally pointless with regard to the plot.

There are also the usual typos, grammatical errors, and word misusages that one finds in all too many mass market paperbacks these days; publishers don't seem to employ copy editors any longer.

To give the book its due, it's not totally unreadable. For a few pages, the allusions to pop culture are fun; if they came at about 1 every 10 pages, instead of being smushed together in run-on fashion, it would be a very funny style. I suspect that someone who isn't a dedicated Regency reader would be far less annoyed by the anachronisms than I am, and might therefore enjoy the book more. And if your only previous exposure to vampire fiction has been recent work that's more or less romance - Betsy the Vampire Queen, for instance - and has not included the serious authors such as Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, then you probably wouldn't be as bothered by the haphazard treatment of vampire powers and weaknesses, or the mixing of vampire and other supernatural cultures, as I am. So, if all you're looking for is a light read, not holding out for an actual good Regency or intense vampire experience, then this might be acceptable.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed the "The Remarkable Miss Frankenstein," I can not say the same for "The Reluctant Miss Van Helsing." Correct me if I'm wrong but shouldn't a romance novel contain some romance. Asher's constant lascivious thoughts about Jane made me feel dirty given his obvious contempt for her. It is unfortunate that the author felt the need to beat the reader over the head with Jane's lack of external beauty as if we are too stupid to grasp the simple concept. Did that fact truly need to be reiterated 5 or 6 times in each chapter by everyone she came in contact with. We get it; she's not beautiful, and she's not considered worthy to be with Asher nor is she considered worthy to be a Van Helsing. Also, the author seemed overly concerned with getting laughs that quickly became extremely irritating. I mostly just felt very sad for Jane's part in a verbally abusive life.

This book is not attempting to be the next War and Peace, in fact it's not even attempting to be a historical romance novel, all it's attempting is to give you a light hearted read, and it completely succeeds!
I picked this book up, amused by the premise, and found it to be very enjoyable. No it's not breaking any new roads into literature and no it's not really that exact on dates and such, but it's a book about VAMPIRES how historically accurate can it really be? I loved it! I couldn't wait to keep reading it. I found the jokes amusing and the situations full of comic relief, and it just fueled my passion for tall dark vampires.

Regardless of the paranormal/comedic premise, this is first and foremost supposed to be a romance. I just don't understand how the heroine fell in love with the hero since he repeatedly tells her how much better he can do than her and how ugly she is. The book's popular-at-the-moment sub-genre notwithstanding, it's old-school in that the hero doesn't show the heroine much affection or respect until the very end of the story when (of course) she's in danger. That's not original, it's just an old, worn-out plot device that most contemporary romance authors and editors (thankfully) eschew.

This book reminded me of the Cheshire cat, it is laughing so hard at its own jokes that it disappears without a trace. Yes, this book is so taken up with its own exquisite humour that it is not funny, not even enjoyable.
The reluctant miss of the title, is Ethel Jane Van Helsing, who belongs to a certain family of vampire hunters.
Alas, the poor girl is not following in the family footsteps well, in a word - she's hopeless. Given a new chance to prove herself in nabbling the Earl of Wolverton, she lands herself in fresh pickles and prat falls. The tale follows a steady course, poking fun at both Regency and vampire tales.
It just doesn't work, despite hitting the occasional humorous mark. This is not simply due to the woeful historical inaccuracies with which it bristles.
No, a parody must actually be genuinely funny and not just telling you it's funny by hitting the reader over the head with gags and giggles.

The author spends a great deal of the book's 342 pages attempting to impress the reader with her knowledge of pop culture and cramming as many references as possible in between the teensy bits of plot that the book contains. I get it! You've watched Buffy! You've seen Bela Lagusi movies! You know who Bram Stoker is! The cutesy references quickly become annoying distractions. Overall, the 342 page novel is a pleasant 75 - 100 page short story.

The Reluctant Miss Van Helsing by Mindy Webber is the story of Ethel Jane Van Helsing of the vampire-slaying Van Helsings. Blah, Blah, Blah. I'd rather not go into summarizing the plot anymore it's been done better elsewhere. Mainly what I wanted to say in this review was how much I hated reading this book. The overall premise of the book was a good enough one. A family of vampire slayers in Regency England on the trail of evil Dracul. Could have worked. It didn't for me. The main character, Jane, is a mousy well-meaning little girl on the plain side. I know that because just about every character in the book tells her that including the hero the first time he meets her. Over and over again he tells her how plain she is and how beneath him she is. I don't recall meeting a less-likeable hero. I wanted to stake him myself. What was even worse is that he came across like one of those abusive husbands you read about. Blaming her for everything and then later on in the book promising to make it up to her for every crappy thing he's done to her. And little Jane takes it over and over again and I'm supposed to see her as plucky. I didn't. I didn't even respect her. There was a lot of humor and play on words and stuff which I didn't find funny. So this type of stuff used to be popular? Wow! Don't send me any titles. I don't want to know anymore than I already do. I wish I had my money and the time I spent on this back. I won't be reading the other one.

I liked this book better then the first, but that is not to say that I didn't enjoy her first. I just happen to like vampire's more. With that said, let me say that if you take your vampires and werewolves too serious this will not be the series for you. But if you are open to new ideas and like to sometimes take a lighter view then do not miss these books. Miss Van Helsing is a wonderful character you cannot help but admire. And Lord Asher is a vampire with all the right stuff....there relationship start off rocking but with each page grows to be what each one has been looking for.
This is not just about vampires and vampire hunter's. You can say that this is about finding oneself apart from family, and also about getting past prejuices and sterotypes. Miss Minda Webber is fast becoming a favorite of mine and I cannot wait to see what her third in this series will be..