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Reluctantly Related: Secrets To Getting Along With Your Mother-in-Law or Daughter-in-law Paperback – January 31, 2013


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Editorial Reviews

Review

Reluctantly Related is an honest and engaging book that will help relieve the stress too often associated with the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship. I highly recommend it! --Christiane Northrup, M.D. author of the New York Times best sellers: Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

Dr. Brann offers help where no other book has so fearlessly tread! What a positive, balanced, helpful resource this is for every family. No longer need the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship suffer the immortal bad press it has endured for ages. This book offers practical, positive help. It is filled with valuable insights and practical suggestions. --Pat Love, Ed.D. author the Truth About Love

Dr. Brann's professionalism and compassion helps both sides of the MIL-DIL relationship, bringing them together and giving women and their families hope and practical help in making their relationship more fulfilling and satisfying. The MIL-DIL relationship is an important one indeed and this book is an important one to read to aid you in making this relationship thrive. --Sandra Yancey - Founder & CEO eWomenNetwork, Inc.

Dr. Brann offers help where no other book has so fearlessly tread! What a positive, balanced, helpful resource this is for every family. No longer need the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship suffer the immortal bad press it has endured for ages. This book offers practical, positive help. It is filled with valuable insights and practical suggestions. --Pat Love, Ed.D. author the Truth About Love

Dr. Brann's professionalism and compassion helps both sides of the MIL-DIL relationship, bringing them together and giving women and their families hope and practical help in making their relationship more fulfilling and satisfying. The MIL-DIL relationship is an important one indeed and this book is an important one to read to aid you in making this relationship thrive. --Sandra Yancey - Founder & CEO eWomenNetwork, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Dr. Deanna Brann is a leading authority on the relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. She has a passion for healthy, vibrant relationships in this highly important, yet sometimes challenging connection. With more than 25 years of experience practicing psychology and helping individuals, couples and families, she is now a highly sought after speaker and author. She is also the author of Mothers-in-Law & Daughters-in-Law Say the Darndest Things!
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 186 pages
  • Publisher: Ambergris Publishing; 2nd edition (January 31, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 098881000X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0988810006
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #302,957 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Deanna Brann, Ph.D., is a leading expert in the field of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships. She has over 25 years experience as a clinical psychotherapist and ran her own private practice for more than 18 years. Based in Knoxville, TN, Dr. Brann is a sought after speaker, author and seminar leader. She is also the author of Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law Say the Darndest Things! Learn more about her at DrDeannaBrann.com.

Dr. Brann holds a Master of Science in Clinical Psychology and a Ph.D. in Psychobiological Anthropology.

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Eileen Granfors TOP 1000 REVIEWER on March 29, 2013
Format: Paperback
Deanna Brann (Ph.D) presents the problems inherent between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Better she offers solutions to try.

It seems that in every family, there is one person misunderstood and causing chaos. This could be a certain type of mother-in-law or a certain type of daughter-in-law. So imagine the explosions when those two types are involved in the same family.

Brann presents the same scenario from each point of view, helping a mother-in-law understand how her seemingly innocuous remark or behavior could set off her daughter-in-law's rage. Or the daughter-in-law makes a commitment for a family date and then changes it, so the mother-in-law is steaming mad.

And in the middle are the son and the grandkids. With Brann's clear writing, exercises, and belief that there can be peace. the family can come into balance. She puts forward a "try this" approach to conversations and to actions. Truly, this book offers not just psychological reasons for the problems but solutions that don't require a therapist.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Ronnie Campagna on March 21, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Dr. Brand's book is written in a way that made it easy to see my actions from my DIL's point of view and recognized the origins of her reactions. I loved the characters (Doubting Donna, Weird Wendy) who I expected to be simplistic and one-dimensional but were anything but. Just last weekend, using some of Dr. Brand's suggestions, I was able to approach my DIL differently and experience different results. This is a book that I will read again and again (at this point, I need daily refreshers!!). I highly recommend this book to any mother (even those with daughters!!).
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful By S.K. Hall PhD on August 18, 2012
Format: Paperback
RELUCTANTLY RELATED is a unique, ground-breaking guide to understanding and helping the often difficult relationship between mother-in-law (MIL) and daughter-in-law (DIL). Dr. Brann, a psychologist and mother-in-law herself, presents her extensive interview research on this delicate relationship with a humor and clarity that make her work a delight to read and a handbook for more successful relationships.

In Part I, Dr. Brann first shares her personal story of the once troubled relationship between herself and her daughter-in-law. She then explains 5 reasons why the relationship between MIL and DIL is so challenging: the relationship is "artificial," MILs and DILs are at different stages of life, each has different personal history and "baggage," each have their own "perceptions" (what is reality), and each may react (or over-react) in situations. There is no blame for either MIL or DIL, just a clear explanation that makes you respond 'well that makes sense.'

In Part II, Dr. Brann uses catchy names for the "characters" in the relationship (MILs, DILs, and Sons), and the names actually describe the common personality types that she discovered in her interviews. So, for MILs there is: Comfortable Carla, Mothering Margaret, Off-the-Wall Wanda, and Uncertain Sara. For DILs there is: Confident Connie, Doubting Donna, Weird Wendy, and Transitioned Tracey. For Sons there is Self-Assured Andy, In-the-Middle Michael, and Struggling Steven. Dr. Brann gives an in-depth description of each personality type, and how each tends to function in the MIL-DIL (and Son) relationship. Using Dr. Brann's descriptions, and her helpful Questionnaires and Scoring Keys in the Appendix, a reader can identify which type that she (or he) is and which type their in-law is.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Dr. Joseph S. Maresca HALL OF FAMETOP 1000 REVIEWER on April 7, 2013
Format: Paperback
Reluctantly Related - Secrets To Getting Along With Your Mother-in Law or
Daughter - in- Law by Dr. Deanna Brann is an important family resource for
resolving differences between in-laws on a whole range of difficult and
uncomfortable subjects. The author explains how to bring lasting change to
these relationships which tend to be highly contentious at times.

Dr. Brann explains that the in-law relationships are artificial in that they
are creatures of the law. In-laws are generally at different stages of life and
this is in great part the reason for contention. In-laws each carry a certain
amount of emotional baggage which only exacerbates bad feelings and
ill will. In fact, some mothers -in laws have mixed feelings about their changed
role with a son or daughter who was previously close and now is more distant.

Dr. Brann explains the necessity of establishing clearly definable boundaries
with parents and in-laws so that expectations are more in line with reality. As such,
a mother-in-law must understand her new role so that actions and words reflect
true intentions and not unrealistic expectations. In this new relationship, a
mother-in-law should treat the new extended family with respect. The important
thing is to navigate this new relationship without making too many waves.

The author provides examples which demonstrate how humor can shift the power
balance and "break the ice" for all parties involved. The book comes with extensive
check lists and scoring keys so that users know how they are doing at various
stages while navigating the text.

Reluctantly Related - Secrets To Getting Along With Your Mother-in Law or
Daughter - in- Law by Dr.
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