Customer Reviews

Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality: A New Clinical Approach

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(12)

 

 

I think Doctor Nicolosi is somewhat prejudiced (I hope I am not anti-gay in any way). He is also to some relgiously motivated (which raises my suspicions considerably). Nevertheless, I believe it is a unique resource for heterosexual men whose erotic life has been dominated by same sex attraction. It illustrates clearly why that previous sentence is not an utter contradiction in terms.

Nicolosi expresses the nature of male-male attraction as it affects some men - including myself - in a more lucid and humane way than I have ever come across elsewhere. For a long time I have travelled alone with my view of why I spent all my teens and most of my twenties fetishising maleness and being very insecure in my own. This book and Nicolosi's 'Healing Homosexuality : Case Stories of Reparative Therapy' which contains very similar themes to this book, have been a revalation to me.

Another reviewer here criticises the book as psychobabble. Nicolosi's book probably does read lik! e psychobabble if you don't know what it is like to be stuck with the dilemma that you prefer men, believe you are strong enough to come out, but just don't want to because you know something's not right. The reason why it's not right is because, for some men, there gayness is a symptom of the fact they never felt like other men and consciously or unconsciously craved to be men, but never knew how.

That is my story. The great objection that might be raised, which Nicolosi deals with neatly, is that I have been conditioned to hate gays and hate gay-ness in myself by a society which does not accept nonconformity. That's where my self-hatred comes from. For me, that's psychobabble.

Nicolosi also presents a clear critique of the virulence with which some gay men react to the notion that there may be those with similar desires to their own who believe they would like to change and can change to a fundamental heterosexual orientation. Like Nicolosi I think this smacks of the sa! me doctrinare and bigoted viewpoint which gay men - rightly! - feel they are too often faced with.

Nicolosi has written a fine work that speaks for countless homosexually-oriented men who do not choose to embrace the "gay life." This timely and greatly needed book represents those men who find themselves attracted to other men, yet know that their ultimate fulfillment and wholeness won't be found by "coming out." They're not confused. Rather, these men have chosen a decisively bold and courageous counter-cultural journey of inner-healing and healthy relating that has often left them ignored and unrecognized. That is, until now!

After hearing Nicolosi in a conference I was interested that he has recently claimed to continue this work on over 500 patients. His work and book seem to be sound and support the view that dominated psychology and homosexuality a few decades ago. Recent research has made many claims in support of homosexuality which has been unscientific. Nicolosi rationally and thoroughly discusses homosexual behavior as a symptom of a disorder rather than a genetically inherited lifestyle. His work is sound and his research hard to dispute. I believe his research will be the pioneering work for the future of sexuality studies. This book is difficult to read but is of great help to those trying to find sound research and work on helping homosexuals return to heterosexualty.

I have read this book repeatedly and have also given it away as a gift to others struggling with same sex attractions who are unhappy with their state of mind and being. In each and every case the level of anxiety and distress was reduced after the reading of this book. The fact that our homosexuality is caused by a lack an intimate relationship with the same sex parent was critical in my understanding of self and homo-erotic tendencies. I will shout this books material from the roof tops whenever I hear from those blind individuals that there is no way to healing or that healing does not exist in this fashion. It does work if you have the desire to fight and be painfully honest with self. Brilliantly presented material in an easy to read fashion.

Everyone should read this book to get the "other viewpoint." Homosexuals never had an opportunity for healing until Nicolosi and others like him began to take this subject "out of the closet" and give hope to people who know, deep down, that their homosexuality is a response to problems of identity.

Nicolosi writes from practical therapuetic experience giving hope for those who want change and find their isn't much help available out there. If you're looking for political correctness you won't find it here. Those wanting a way out of homosexuality are a neglected minority and Nicolosi is a skilled and articulate advocate. Good details on origins and the change process.

After hearing Nicolosi in a conference I was interested that he has recently claimed to continue this work on over 500 patients. His work and book seem to be sound and support the view that dominated psychology and homosexuality a few decades ago. Recent research has made many claims in support of homosexuality which has been unscientific. Nicolosi rationally and thoroughly discusses homosexual behavior as a symptom of a disorder rather than a genetically inherited lifestyle. His work is sound and his research hard to dispute. I believe his research will be the pioneering work for the future of sexuality studies. This book is difficult to read but is of great help to those trying to find sound research and work on helping homosexuals return to heterosexualty.

I read this book and it was very interesting. However it cannot be overlooked that many of the cases Nicolosi uses were of men who were sexually abused or who were otherwise emotionally disturbed. One can hardly assume that these are typical cases and thus one can't generalize as Nicolosi does. Also Nicolosi says that change is not always possible, but asserts that this emotional realization will ultimately lead to heterosexuality. I will give him much credit for speaking against therapy that only seeks to affirm the patient. It is useless to constantly tell a patient to love him or herself if, indeed, that person's "self" is not optimal or productive. Also, although biology may play a major role in homosexuality one should be wary of assuming that as determinative. Many of those studies are predispository and will only support the anti-gay fetish by portraying all gays and lesbians as animals who are "results" of their physical lusts. So this is an insightful book, but Nicolosi makes some very bold assumptions, is a bit chauvanistic, and theorizes that whenever a homosexual man is in therapy his anxiety is always caused by his homosexuality rather than the many other things that homosexuals as well as heterosexual deal with. It is a one-dimensional Catholic view of human sexuality but must be read for the emotional perspective. The problem in this country is not homosexuality, it is the religious right's obsession with precepts upon precepts while living a double standard, the left's one dimensional reactionary politics and pseudo-altruism while both sides are doing nothing. The problem in this country is the deep cynicism and the total obliviousness of the human condition. We are not dealing with God here, we are dealing with flesh and blood, human will against human will, and the forces of nature. Public sanctimony and peace doves will do little to save our families or to fully understand the human condition.

This book, now apparently back in print, is THE best treatment of recovery from homosexuality I have read. Although I did not come out of that lifestyle, I have friends who have (and friends who have tried and not succeeded), and have had many of the emotional precursors to homosexuality in my own history. Reading books such as this have helped me become a healthy man.

In my own journey, I have had to painstakingly cull the truths in this book from many religious books, which has not been fun. This book clearly presents the basic ideas behind reparative therapy without resorting to preaching - the only book on this topic that I have ever seen.

Most gay recovery books are written by evangelical Christians who force you to convert (i.e. become "born again") in order to heal. The problem with this, imho, is two-fold. First of all, the authors often neglect some of the deep emotional issues that need to be explored or systematically examined by saying "just commit yourself to Jesus and his love will heal you." Experiencing the love of God and developing a spiritual life certainly may heal the injured soul, but this is often a copout for lazy pseudo-psychologists who know little of the science of emotional development and the psyhological tools for exploring and healing the wounded soul.

The second problem with conversion therapy is that it shuts out many people who are not ready or don't want to convert to Christianity, when many, if not most, of the tools for healing homosexuality can be employed independently of faith - things like understanding true masculinity v. the false masculinity that many men have rejected, etc.

Most human characteristics have both biologic and environmental causes (a.k.a. nature and nurture), but the ratio may not always be 50/50. I believe that the same holds true for sexuality, i.e. the factors that contribute to a homsexual orientation are probably both biologic and environmental. People who want to choose either/or here usually have a personal issue involved, and are not genuinely interested in finding the truth, but rather, are entrenched in their own position, defensively mocking or striking out at the fools on the other extreme.

The real questions are:
- is homosexuality a disorder or not? How do you determine what is a disorder? This is a long discussion (which I would love to have)
- are there different types of homosexual? - are some types of homosexuality influenced primarily by genetic or biologic factors? If so, what are they, and what is the proposed mechanism?
- are some types of homosexuality influenced primarily by environmental factors? - of this group, are some caused by environmental factors during development? If we assume this, by what mechanism? If bad or absent parental role models are the proposed cause, what corrective method is suggested? How well does it work?

I believe that reparative therapy says "yes, some, perhaps most cases of homosexuality are mainly caused by external relational factors that affect gender identity development, and can be corrected through therapy." Nicolisi paints in the details of this hypothesis with clarity and at least the appearance of scientific rigor, and documents results (albeit only the good ones ;) in his other book, mentioned below.

Overall, this book is a great reference for those who want to study the perspective of reparative therapy.

Other useful books, not as scientific or complete as Nicolisi's are listed below. However, all but the first two of these invoke Christianity and doctrine (a.k.a. "conversion therapy"), where Nicolisi's book remains mostly clinical and psychological in outlook.

Being and Loving by Althea Horner (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED - she endorsed Nicolisi's book)

Healing Homosexuality : Case Stories of Reparative Therapy by Nicolisi

Counseling the Homosexual by Saia

Pursuing Sexual Wholeness by Comiskey (great chapter on gender identity malformation and healing)

So-called "reparative therapy" is both ineffective and unethical. It doesn't work and just increases shame and guilt around same-sex attraction. I'm a therapist who has seen many clients over the years harmed by reparative therapy. If you have been to a therapist who practices reparative therapy, please report that person to the appropriate licensing board and tell the board how you've been harmed. There is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian, bi or trans, period.