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How to Rescue a Dead Princess Kindle Edition

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Length: 188 pages

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Editorial Reviews

Review

HOW TO RESCUE A DEAD PRINCESS is pure wonder. Jeff Strand is setting a new precedent for writers of comedy and most other genres. This book has everything and I promise you'll have to force yourself not to rush to his site and buy another one of his books. But it's okay, buy one. 4-1/2 Stars! ~ Rhapsody Magazine

Tired of the predictable quest fantasy? Try Jeff Strand's How To Rescue A Dead Princess--a totally unpredictable and very funny take-off on generic quest fantasies. The adventures grow increasingly hilarious until even the traditional happy ending winds up with a humorous and surprising twist. In this irreverent tale, Strand cleverly weaves suspense in with his ingenious fantasy quest parody, producing a delightful and funny book. 4-1/2 Stars! ~ Scribes World Reviews

HOW TO RESCUE A DEAD PRINCESS is one of those books that has to be read to be believed--not that I believed one line of it. Disbelief didn't stop me from laughing, gasping, and just generally enjoying the whole thing. All I can say is: Jeff Strand should be arrested for writing addictive works--maybe I should write my congressman (if Jeff is incarcerated, he will have more time to write). This is the second one of his books I've read and I want more. And I want them now. Very Highly Recommended! ~ Millennium SF & F Magazine, August 2000


Product Details

  • File Size: 311 KB
  • Print Length: 188 pages
  • Publisher: Mundania Press LLC (August 1, 2000)
  • Publication Date: August 1, 2000
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B000FCKHJC
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,188,963 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Jeff Strand was born in Baltimore, Maryland, but moved to Fairbanks, Alaska when he was six months old, so his memories of Baltimore are hazy. He grew up in the cold, where he desperately wanted to be a cartoonist. Then he wanted to make video games. Then he wanted to write movies. Actually, he still wants to do all of those things, but for now he's quite happy writing lots of demented novels.

He was nominated for the Bram Stoker Award in 2006, 2008, 2010, and 2012. His novel PRESSURE has been optioned for film; he's hoping the movie will be made soon so he can scream "My baby! What have you done to my precious baby?!?"

His novels are usually classified as horror, but they're really all over the place, from comedies to thrillers to drama to, yes, even a fairy tale.

Because he doesn't do cold weather anymore, he lives in Tampa, Florida with his wife and a deaf cat.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Lorna Collins on September 11, 2006
Format: Paperback
Using every familiar plot device and cliche imaginable, Jeff Strand creates a world where the unthinkable is not only possible but probable. Want a believable plot? Read another book. Want genuine laughs in the manner of Monty Python? Read on. Pure escapism, chuckles and groans await the reader with sufficient courage to follow Jeff into the zany world of his imagination. Need a change of mood? This is the book for you.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Mike Kazmierczak on October 12, 2008
Format: Paperback
While Strand is known for his humor in most of his novels, I would have to say that this book is his best from a pure enjoyment factor. The story follows Randall, a clumsy squire escorting a Princess on her journey. Unfortunately she winds up dead. However since it is a fantasy story, there is a witch in it. And witches can often bring back the dead, so that becomes Randall's new task. Strand has fun with the novel by poking fun at the usual elements and bringing his usual sharp and sarcastic wit. Even the sub-headers for each chapter are incredibly amusing. This book should be required reading by everyone with even the slightest bit of a sense of humor.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By smb on February 21, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This was an amazingly funny book. I usually read mystery/horror
books and now I am reading to try more unusual topics.
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By Reader Views on January 17, 2007
Format: Paperback
Reviewed by Ellen Hogan for Reader Views (1/07)

This is the story of a squire named Randall, who along with Sir William, was to escort Princess Janice on a diplomatic journey of the utmost importance. However, on the way Princess Janice gets killed and Sir William gets incapacitated. So, it is up to Randall to find a way to bring Princess Janice back to life and get his friend Sir William hail and hearty. In the Realm of Mystery, Randall meets Grysh who tells him if he gets the Necklace of Power she will be able to return Janice back to life. But besides the necklace she will need the breath of a sleeping maiden, the toenail of Jestina the Ogre and the eyebrow of the legendary berserker Shreddriff.

Off goes Randall in search of the necessary items to help his friends. Along the way he meets a bug who helps him in his quest. Then he is taken in by four men who are trying to kill the King. Rick, Maverick, Frederick and Roderick of the two daggers decide that Randall can help them by getting close to the King and gaining his confidence. Randall wants no part of their dastardly deed. Randall does meet the King and relays that the Princess and Sir William are lost in the Forest of Death. After some misunderstandings Randall was on his way once more to help his friends.

Randall meets Jack and after his debacle with the beanstalk went along with him. They meet a maiden Yvonne at a brothel and take her with them too. So, they now have the maiden's breath. Through the rest of the story Randall, Yvonne, Jack and Bug travel to get the other things needed to save Randall's friends.

The characters were very likeable and quirky. You could not wait to see what they were going to get into next because there was a disaster just waiting to happen to them.
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By Jim on September 24, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Having just finished a very dark and somewhat unpleasant book by another author, I needed something light and humorous. The author that easily came to mind was Jeff Strand.

I've read nearly everything of his that has seen print and have never been let down. Even in his darker and more serious works, you can always count on some of his quirky humor to slip through. In his earliest books, however, he hadn't really tried much for the horror element, instead going with outright comedic tales, this one somewhat in the style of Monty Python's Flying Circus. If at one point early on in the story you don't find yourself thinking about the Dead Parrot sketch, it is only because you never saw the Dead Parrot sketch!)

This book has been on my TBR list for far too long, so I decided to read a few chapters to lighten the mood, and I haven't been able to put it down!

The characters are amusing stereotypes of themselves, and the dialog is full of witty anachronistic humor. The not-quite-so-intrepid adventurers find themselves getting in deeper and deeper, and you continue to wonder what else could possibly go wrong.

If you want to read something for pleasure that has nothing with which to offend and is just simply fun to read, grab a copy of this book. You won't regret it.
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