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Rescuing Julia Twice: A Mother's Tale of Russian Adoption and Overcoming Reactive Attachment Disorder Hardcover – May 1, 2014
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“[N]othing short of stunning. This book will stay with you long after you close the cover.” —Lori Holden, author, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
“Having raised three kids with varying degrees of RAD, I know how much this book is needed!” —Julie Valentine, editor, adopting.com“[A] moving memoir.” —Publishers Weekly
“Many adoption memoirs detail the journey that brings parent and child together . . . and end with a loving, triumphant homecoming. Fewer follow the story years down the road, as parents and child knit themselves into a family. Traster holds nothing back in recounting that second journey, to truly become her child’s mother.” —Eve Gilman, editor, Adoptive Families Magazine
"If you are an adoptive parent, don’t miss this book.” —Jane Ballback, publisher and executive editor, Adoption Voices Magazine
“Tina Traster takes us on her roller-coaster ride of becoming an adoptive mother . . . . Many will read this mother’s journey of breaking through her daughter’s protective shell with strong, deliberate parenting, and they’ll know that they are not alone." —Julie Beem, executive director, Attachment & Trauma Network, Inc.
“Traster’s memoir is simultaneously unnerving and inspirational. The adoption world—and everyone surrounding it (meaning everyone)—needs to better understand the realities that affect so many children being adopted from orphanages today. The timing of this starkly honest book could not be better.” —Adam Pertman, president, The Donaldson Adoption Institute, and author of Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming Our Families—and America
“A riveting story that takes you on an extraordinary journey with the author, her husband, and Julia, the emotionally constricted daughter they adopted from a Russian orphanage. Their struggle with love and loss, frustration and disappointment, fear and hope will chill and ultimately thrill anyone who is a parent—through birth or adoption—or who is thinking about becoming one.” —Gloria Hochman, director of communications, National Adoption Center
“Traster’s experiences and the way she writes about the realities of adoption are very helpful to everyone raising a child with RAD or thinking of adopting a child who may have RAD.” —Irene Clements, president, National Foster Parent Association
“Rescuing Julia Twice” is a good read to understand the journey of adoptive families and the struggle they sometimes experience parenting children from tough beginnings." —Adoption Today
"This is not the average I’m-so-lucky, big-group-hug book on the subject. Author and adoptive mother Tina Traster gets real. Since we all know someone who has adopted, it’s a must-read… [a] stunning book!” —Parents.com
About the Author
Tina Traster is an award-winning journalist whose work has appeared in scores of newspapers, magazines, and literary journals including the New York Times, New York Post, Time Out New York, the Daily Beast, Huffington Post, Family Circle, Parade, Audubon, and many more.
Melissa Fay Greene is the award-winning author of five books of nonfiction, including There Is No Me Without You, about the HIV/AIDS African orphan crisis, and No Biking in the House Without a Helmet, about raising her family. She and her husband are the parents of nine children: four by birth and five by adoption.
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Top Customer Reviews
But I have some concerns. First it seemed to me that Tina may have a void in her own life that perhaps she was hoping Julia could fill. I could be wrong, but again I see things a little different. Second, Why hire the nanny. When you adopt a child, especially a RAD child, the goal is to bond and promote attachment together. When you introduce some one else in the picture, you only add to the confusion. I am glad in this case it seemed to work out, but that was a gamble and not one I would recommend people do.
There is a lot in the book that comes off as narcissistic behavior by the mother. Seems to be a lot of blame and pointing of fingers. When you adopt a rad child, YOU have to be the one to change. You have to be the one to initiate things. You cannot wait for the child. You cannot blame the child for not looking you in the eye, for saying hurtful things, for doing hurtful things. You take them out of an environment under the best of intentions expecting things to go smooth. Not going to happen.
While I think this book is a good memoir about the parents, I do not agree and will not promote this book as a RAD healing book. I cannot recommend to others to read this book in hopes to gain insights and info about RAD. What it is like to adopt in Russia,,, YES. Want to know more about TINA sure.Read more ›
Ignores the pediatrician and her psychologist neighbor when they both indicate that adopted children might have special difficulties adjusting. So when does she notice that there might be issues? A few YEARS later when the child's behavior embarrasses HER!!!
AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT THIS PERSON "RESCUED" A CHILD AND "OVERCAME" RAD?????
Then decides to write a book about how she selflessly healed her child after discovering that there was something "wrong" with the child and nothing "wrong" with her. Obviously relationships are all about blame and fault. Especially with your own child.
This book is first and primarily a profound violation of Julia's privacy. One would hope that in the future this unkind use of a child's life will not be permitted. Indeed, perhaps in the future these children might have legal guide lines to protect them and remedies if all else fails.
Beyond that this book is a foolish fairy tale told by a person who lives in a bubble.
What I found unprofessional, was right off the bat, Ms. Traster starts trashing people, and I found her criticism of almost everyone in very bad taste. An example is her description of a fellow adoptive parent traveling with them "big hair and a lot of make up to disguise her age" or something along those lines....and I found other descriptions bizarre, such as another fellow adoptive father having a "come hither smile"....what exactly is that? I have heard of a come hither look before, but smile? Hilarious. Not the best written book, but I'm glad it's out there, simply to get a message across to prospective adoptive parents that adoption is not a walk in the park. I hope Ms. Traster also gets some therapy, she seems incredibly bitter and unhappy.
I do believe the author had good intentions in writing the book. She is excited that her precious daughter is doing well and that is good!
The book never really says HOW they helped her do better, other than educating themselves on the subject of RAD.
There are differing opinions, even in the opinions posted here about what RAD really is, and what the symptoms are.
Obviously from her description, there were problems with connection, and I think Ms. Traster understands that SHE needed to learn to connect with her daughter and to put away the buttons of anger. It is mentioned in the book, but not very clearly.
There is a lack of ability for me personally to identify with the author regarding the beginning of the book and how she felt about things. First world problems like not having a NEW crib, or the BEST clothes or a gramma who gave her daughter individual attention. I don't think she was saying these things were right or ok, just that they were.
I think I am reading that right.
Ms. Traster has opened herself up for a lot of criticism, and I feel badly that what she wrote about herself personally and her secret or not so secret thoughts about the adoption process have been taken as that is how she feels now.
I cannot identify personally with those thoughts, but they are hers to own.
I think the most disturbing parts to me, and maybe because there does not appear to be a change of heart, are
1. The protest about home studies.
They are quite necessary. If you are an adoptive parent, your life is an open book to be scrutinized, questioned and
probed. That is ok. The children need to be safe.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The book is mostly about Tina Traster herself, her "problems" with finding a nice house in a small town because she stopped liking Manhattan after 911, how she has panic... Read morePublished 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
I was so excited to get this book. My son's are adopted from Russia and both have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder. Adopting from Russia became harder as the years went on. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Tovah
This story horrifies me. You don't adopt a child as a trinket to magnify you.Published 8 months ago by No
Rarely does a memoir elicit such mixed response. I do feel that, in the case of this memoir, this contradictory combination of praise and criticism is deserved. Read morePublished 8 months ago by Marta Manning
But when she figured things out she did her best to make it right. No one is perfect. Good read for adoptive parents who get it.Published 9 months ago by Michael Brindamour
Well written, honest, painful, as well as hopeful. As a psychologist specializing in work with RAD kids I think Tina chronicles the journey well. Read morePublished 14 months ago by John S.
For anyone dealing with RAD, this book will give you insight into the world of parents who adopted from Russia and was faced with an unknown. Read morePublished 14 months ago by regina radomski