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Tactical Awesomeness + Ninja Skills
on November 18, 2013
The Supreme Mall Ninja here folks, bringing you another installment of my tactical pearls of wisdom.
First off, let me say these things are awesome. I mean this bracelet lets me combine my tactical awesomeness with my inner ninja.
I mean we all know that you can never have to many blades on you. But, let me tell you how these blades saved not only my life, but the lives of countless others.
So there I was at my annual LARP'ing convention ("live action role playing" for you newbs out there). Now most of the guys go as warriors, wizards, elves, hobbits, or trolls. Not me though. I go full tactical-commando. Some guys go LARP'ing but I go TARD'ing (tactical actual real demonstration).
Hell yes everyone, I'm king of the TARDs.
So there I was TARD'ing it up with all the LARPers one afternoon, when some guy an a F150 drives by screaming at us calling us nerds. Well, the supreme mall ninja was having none of that. I yell out to him to respect my awesomeness and to my surprise he turns around.
He jumps out of his truck and that's when I knew it was on. He saw my colleagues with their foam swords, and cardboard shields and I bet he thought we were going to be easy pray... little did he know I was armed with these tactial babies.
Into my wrist I reach and out with the blades. Lightning bolt, lightning bolt, lightning bolt I throw, except these weren't those pansy lightning bolts cast with foam balls. These were the lightning bolts made of 440c steel.
Granted I have to work on my throwing. Because all landed about 4 feet in the ground in front of me. And yes, F150 guy did continue to come over and make me kiss my own backside. But could you imagine what I could have done if I was really trying??? I just let him think he won, because Sun Tzu said something like "let your enemy think he wins and then go all tactical on him".
So after F150 guy let me go, my daggers were still in reach. I picked one up ran to his truck and BOOM!... out goes a tire. So I start making my tactical retreat and get to the trunk of my car. Out with my .308 FAL and then we saw F150 guy changed his tune.
I swear if it weren't for these tactical daggers, that guy would have killed us all.
Supreme Mall Ninja highly endorses this product for all you budding mall ninjas.