The Resilient Child: Seven Essential Lessons for Your Child's Happiness and Success [Paperback]

Ph.D. George S. Everly Jr. (Author), Sloane Brown (Contributor)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2008

For years, Dr. George Everly’s clinical practice has focused on helping adults recover from the physical and mental illnesses caused by excessive stress. He concluded that such treatment would not have been necessary if they had been taught to better manage stress early in life. Unlike many books on this subject, this one does not promote stress reduction techniques as such. Instead, it presents seven pillars on which a stress-resilient life may be built. Dr. Everly explains that resisting stress and rebounding are based on strength of character; strength of character is resiliency; and resiliency is based on seven core life lessons that parents can teach their children. Essential actions, beliefs, and codes that shape true resiliency in the face of challenges can — if learned early enough — prevent debilitating stress. Dr. Everly persuasively frames his approach as an “acquired immunity” to the effects of stress in areas from health to relationships and careers.

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: DiaMedica (October 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0979356458
• ISBN-13: 978-0979356452
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.3 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,052,977 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Good Topic Poorly Executed, July 30, 2008

By 

David P. Whelan (Newmarket, Ontario, Canada) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Resilient Child: Seven Essential Lessons for Your Child's Happiness and Success (Paperback)

Dr. George Everly has written a book full of genial advice and with the best intentions. Although it describes itself as seven essential lessons to raising resilient children, parents who look for specific steps will be disappointed. Instead, Dr. Everly has gathered together seven lessons that provide common parenting tips that he suggests will support the development of a resilient child. The seven areas range from development of positive friendships to loyalty to faith.

There is no question that the suggestions may be helpful to a new parent. But the lessons and concepts Dr. Everly presents are commonplace and sound like common sense as opposed to the work of a researcher. It may be that many of the concepts are supported by resiliency research, in which he is an expert. But the lessons rarely refer to any authority beyond his own clinical experiences and his stories, hampered by use of repetitive, trite phrasing, do not ring true. Many of the tips, stories, and suggested discussion topics appear to be geared towards analysis of adult resiliency, with the application for children added as an afterthought. While it is admirable for adults to remind themselves to contemplate their legacy (lesson 3), or to be present in their children's lives (lesson 1), Dr. Everly doesn't close the loop on how those actions support creating a resilient child.

Tips like avoiding toxic people and helping our children be optimistic can be helpful prompts for parents who had not perhaps considered the ideas explicitly. Dr. Everly's tips are diluted by the pat and colloquial way in which they are presented. His words do not create the impression that they are supported by anything but one parent's own experience. For some readers, that may be enough. For readers who are looking for Dr. Everly's medical expertise to come through, this may be a disappointment.

Homework is a regular part of each lesson and often contains thoughtful suggestions for discussion topics with children. Although Dr. Everly doesn't specify age-appropriateness, some homework suggestions may need to be handled differently, depending upon the age of your children. Discussions of the impact of decision-making on events and people could be powerful with older children but perhaps not as helpful with younger ones.

The latter part of the book is stronger in its citation of references and seems better considered than the first four lessons. The entire volume, however, suffers from poor writing and execution of ideas. While some parents might find this volume helpful for its good parenting tips, it falls short of the kind of detail that would make it truly useful and, I suspect, is not a representative example of Dr. Everly's professional writing, expertise, and research.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very very good little book!, August 28, 2008

By 

R. Stutz (Small Town Oregon) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Resilient Child: Seven Essential Lessons for Your Child's Happiness and Success (Paperback)

Before you read this book get some tissues and a place where you can read undeserved and can laugh out loud with out embarrassing your self. Then get ready for a wonderful book about life and life lessons. Everly gives you some wonderful ideas on what to teach your children so they can be strong, happy and successful. He tells you stories about clients, his kids, and his experiences that lead to him coming up with seven simple lessons to teach your children, he out lines each lesson and the reason behind them.

I found some to be a no brainier and others to be enlightened. All of them are inspiring. The ones I find to be no brainier I realize that they are not to everyone and I am sure the ones that were enlightening to me may be no brainier so others. Such as teaching your children that the glass is half full and not half empty. This simple belief has gotten me through so many bad moments in my life. It keeps my head above water in the worst of storms. I have passed this on to my sons and have always believed this to be a "no brainier" in having a good life. However, I realize there are many that have not been taught this. One of my sons even married a beautiful woman that was not taught this. Her perception on situations and life in general makes everything hard for her. If only her parents had read this simple little book maybe she would be a happier person.

I will read this book over and over again for support, encouragement and to make sure I am still on track to giving all my kids, students, and grandkids an advantage to happiness and success in their lives. This is one of those books you will pass on to your children and your children's children. I am already trying to get my daughter-in-law to read it.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for every parent, August 6, 2008

By 

Shelly Kelly (On the Island) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Resilient Child: Seven Essential Lessons for Your Child's Happiness and Success (Paperback)

How do people cope with intensely stressful situations? What inner resiliency prepares them to handle their emotional well-being? What can parents do to ensure their own children will be able to deal with the potentially overwhelming stress in our world?

When Dr. Everly, an expert on modern resiliency and stress management, pondered these questions he developed a set of guidelines for developing resiliency against stress. These recommendations may be used by all parents to guide their child's development giving them a solid foundation that will enable them to cope and manage both daily and intense stress. Written as a letter to his own children, Dr. Everly expertly conveys these essential tools into a straightforward message readily understandable by all.

Dr. Everly identifies seven lessons necessary to develop these skills, and breaks them down into three basic parts: Actions, Beliefs, and Codes or A-B-C. Actions include the importance of developing lasting friendships and mentors, learning to make decisions, taking responsibility, and the valuing your physical health. Beliefs center on the power of optimism or attitude, and the importance of Faith. Code discusses the cultivation of integrity and morality.

Each lesson is supplemented with personal stories, real-life examples, and includes relevant quotations from literature. At the end of each lesson, Dr. Everly offers homework in the form of suggested conversations and opportunities allowing the parent to demonstrate the practical applications of the lesson to their child.

The Resilient Child should be given to all parents as a guidebook. The lessons are simple, to the point, and carry a powerful message. Their value applies to every family, and every age. It cannot be too early, nor too late, to develop these skills and lead by example. Our nation will be better able to cope with our increasing stress if we can conscientiously instill these simple values in our families.

An excellent addition to any family library (be sure to READ it) and one worthy of sharing with others.