Customer Reviews

The Resilient Child: Seven Essential Lessons for Your Child's Happiness and Success

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Dr. George Everly has written a book full of genial advice and with the best intentions. Although it describes itself as seven essential lessons to raising resilient children, parents who look for specific steps will be disappointed. Instead, Dr. Everly has gathered together seven lessons that provide common parenting tips that he suggests will support the development of a resilient child. The seven areas range from development of positive friendships to loyalty to faith.

There is no question that the suggestions may be helpful to a new parent. But the lessons and concepts Dr. Everly presents are commonplace and sound like common sense as opposed to the work of a researcher. It may be that many of the concepts are supported by resiliency research, in which he is an expert. But the lessons rarely refer to any authority beyond his own clinical experiences and his stories, hampered by use of repetitive, trite phrasing, do not ring true. Many of the tips, stories, and suggested discussion topics appear to be geared towards analysis of adult resiliency, with the application for children added as an afterthought. While it is admirable for adults to remind themselves to contemplate their legacy (lesson 3), or to be present in their children's lives (lesson 1), Dr. Everly doesn't close the loop on how those actions support creating a resilient child.

Tips like avoiding toxic people and helping our children be optimistic can be helpful prompts for parents who had not perhaps considered the ideas explicitly. Dr. Everly's tips are diluted by the pat and colloquial way in which they are presented. His words do not create the impression that they are supported by anything but one parent's own experience. For some readers, that may be enough. For readers who are looking for Dr. Everly's medical expertise to come through, this may be a disappointment.

Homework is a regular part of each lesson and often contains thoughtful suggestions for discussion topics with children. Although Dr. Everly doesn't specify age-appropriateness, some homework suggestions may need to be handled differently, depending upon the age of your children. Discussions of the impact of decision-making on events and people could be powerful with older children but perhaps not as helpful with younger ones.

The latter part of the book is stronger in its citation of references and seems better considered than the first four lessons. The entire volume, however, suffers from poor writing and execution of ideas. While some parents might find this volume helpful for its good parenting tips, it falls short of the kind of detail that would make it truly useful and, I suspect, is not a representative example of Dr. Everly's professional writing, expertise, and research.

Before you read this book get some tissues and a place where you can read undeserved and can laugh out loud with out embarrassing your self. Then get ready for a wonderful book about life and life lessons. Everly gives you some wonderful ideas on what to teach your children so they can be strong, happy and successful. He tells you stories about clients, his kids, and his experiences that lead to him coming up with seven simple lessons to teach your children, he out lines each lesson and the reason behind them.

I found some to be a no brainier and others to be enlightened. All of them are inspiring. The ones I find to be no brainier I realize that they are not to everyone and I am sure the ones that were enlightening to me may be no brainier so others. Such as teaching your children that the glass is half full and not half empty. This simple belief has gotten me through so many bad moments in my life. It keeps my head above water in the worst of storms. I have passed this on to my sons and have always believed this to be a "no brainier" in having a good life. However, I realize there are many that have not been taught this. One of my sons even married a beautiful woman that was not taught this. Her perception on situations and life in general makes everything hard for her. If only her parents had read this simple little book maybe she would be a happier person.

I will read this book over and over again for support, encouragement and to make sure I am still on track to giving all my kids, students, and grandkids an advantage to happiness and success in their lives. This is one of those books you will pass on to your children and your children's children. I am already trying to get my daughter-in-law to read it.

How do people cope with intensely stressful situations? What inner resiliency prepares them to handle their emotional well-being? What can parents do to ensure their own children will be able to deal with the potentially overwhelming stress in our world?

When Dr. Everly, an expert on modern resiliency and stress management, pondered these questions he developed a set of guidelines for developing resiliency against stress. These recommendations may be used by all parents to guide their child's development giving them a solid foundation that will enable them to cope and manage both daily and intense stress. Written as a letter to his own children, Dr. Everly expertly conveys these essential tools into a straightforward message readily understandable by all.

Dr. Everly identifies seven lessons necessary to develop these skills, and breaks them down into three basic parts: Actions, Beliefs, and Codes or A-B-C. Actions include the importance of developing lasting friendships and mentors, learning to make decisions, taking responsibility, and the valuing your physical health. Beliefs center on the power of optimism or attitude, and the importance of Faith. Code discusses the cultivation of integrity and morality.

Each lesson is supplemented with personal stories, real-life examples, and includes relevant quotations from literature. At the end of each lesson, Dr. Everly offers homework in the form of suggested conversations and opportunities allowing the parent to demonstrate the practical applications of the lesson to their child.

The Resilient Child should be given to all parents as a guidebook. The lessons are simple, to the point, and carry a powerful message. Their value applies to every family, and every age. It cannot be too early, nor too late, to develop these skills and lead by example. Our nation will be better able to cope with our increasing stress if we can conscientiously instill these simple values in our families.

An excellent addition to any family library (be sure to READ it) and one worthy of sharing with others.

I was looking forward to reading this book, because I believe in the author's basic premise, that being resilient can be an effective tool in dealing with stress. Unfortunately, I was disappointed with The Resilient Child. I am still trying to slog my way through the book, despite it being a slim 136 pages. For one thing, I believe the book would benefit from more aggressive editing. The author repeats himself over and over, and often relies on expressions like "Sound familiar?" several times on the same page (see p. 49). But most importantly I think the book fails to be effective as a parenting book because the author relies solely on anecdotal stories to convey his point. And his number one favorite source of anecdotes is himself. We hear stories of how he learned to be a stellar friend, a wonderful parent, an important doctor. For instance, he relates in the book how he turned down the opportunity to be recognized by a king for his work in order to spend the afternoon with his father at his son's baseball game. Self-congratulatory, self-referencing, and often unrelated to the point he is making, the anecdotes failed to offer any practical advice about resiliency and stress.

Getting back to the basics when society was more civil. Kids were brought up with a sense of regard for others. The kids of today have a sense of entitlement and when something doesn't come easily for little or no effort they are devastated. Real life requires real work and commitment to something other than yourself. The Resilient Child is a guide to real happiness. Dr. Everly is right on. Read this. It is the best gift you can give your child.

The skill to deal with all of the problems life throws at you: Resiliency. "The Resilient Child: Seven Essential Lessons for your Child's Happiness and Success" is advice for parents to prepare their children for the harsh world that seeks to destroy their mind and bodies. Advice on helping children form strong relationships, find Integrity, and make responsible decision making actions, "The Resilient Child" is a strong recommendation for parents who want to prepare their child in the best way possible.

The most important and compelling information this book provides, is what it calls the seven essential lessons that every person should learn. The lessons, which are each presented as a chapter in the book are:

* The Value of Friends, Mentors, and the Support of Other
* The Three Most Difficult Decisions
* Teach Your Children to Take Responsibility for Their Actions
*Making the Most Important Investment of a Lifetime: Invest in Your Health
* Learn the Power of Optimism
*The Importance of Faith
*Follow a Moral Compass and Cultivate Integrity

In order to write this review, I was going to choose the one which I thought to be the most important. I found that I was unable to choose.

In a simple, clear and concise manner, this book explains to parents who feel that they are floundering without a manual to raise this little person, that very guide. In a non-judgmental way it suggests how to implement these lessons and make them a part of life.

This is going to be on my list of favorite things to give new parents. I will be sure to tell them that these are the instructions that should have been included at birth

The author, Dr. George Everly, has a background in stress management, his co-author, Slane Brown, specializes in translating pscychology lingo to plain language for the general public. Their combined efforts give the reader seven lessons on how to teach resiliency to children using Actions, Beliefs and Codes. Actions include lessons about friendship and support, courage, responsibility and self-investment. Beliefs include lessons about optimism and faith. The Codes section is about following a moral compass. Included in each section are examples from research, as well as personal stories. Each chapter gives 'homework' with assignments to apply the lessons in real life. The ease of reading this book will be appreciated by busy parents, the book is readable, clear, and logical with easy to understand applications. I would recommend this book to parents and also to teachers, grandparents and others with the opportunity to offer children some very valuable life lessons. The Readers Copy did not include an index or a bibliography.

The theories sounded good but there was little evidence as to their utility. He provided stories from his own experience, but one parent's experiences is far from adequate for evidence that the principles can be applied generally. A great deal of the book was a mishmash of quotes and aphorisms. The organization was loose and the writing excessively casual. Suggestions along the lines of "teach your children to have integrity" are not far from common sense, and easier said than done. HomeWork sections at the end of each chapter provided welcome practical advice, but were sometimes vague and generic.

It's a great subject matter, and the book is a quick read. I think the author's heart is in the right place, but I finished the book without clear, concrete ways to help my children be more resilient.

We would all like our children to reach their potential, and to enjoy their achievements and their lives. The Resilient Child by George S. Everly, Jr., Ph. D. addresses how we can encourage our children to be successful without their being overcome by the resulting stresses.

This slim volume (136 pages) contains a great deal of good advice in easily accessible language supported by anecdotes drawn from the author's experience as a therapist who has specialized in the treatment of stress-related illnesses. I enjoyed this book a great deal, but suspect that the call for parents to model the suggested actions and values will be a worthy challenge where they are not already an integral part of their lives.