The Resilient Self: How Survivors of Troubled Families Rise Above Adversity [Hardcover]

Steven J. Wolin M.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 16, 1993

A guide to self-empowerment designed to help adult children of dysfunctional families free themselves from the past discusses characteristics that allow individuals to cope with trauma and forge a healthy life and explains how to develop such traits. 25,000 first printing.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Recent media reports on adult children of dysfunctional families have presented them as victims of their pasts, observe the husband-and-wife authors of this useful self-help guide, who call such a presentation the Damage Model. Instead, they propose the Challenge Model, which is based on seven types of "resiliencies"--aspects of the survivor that provide some measure of strength. These are insight, independence, relationships, initiative, creativity, humor and morality. The Wolins allege that these areas are particularly well developed in people from troubled homes--for example, families headed by alcoholic, abusive, uncommunicative or mentally ill parents. Case studies analyze the various types of resiliency, while the reader is also instructed on how to use them to "reframe" and overcome painful experiences. A Damage Inventory helps readers to "evaluate how badly their self-esteem was hurt by the experience of growing up in a troubled family." Steven Wolin is a clinical professor of psychiatry and medicine at the George Washington School of Medicine; Sybil Wolin is an educational specialist who practices in Washington, D.C. Author tour.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

This book, directed at people who claim to have been raised in troubled families, provides methods for overcoming the handicaps created by a dysfunctional upbringing. The authors cast a broad net in defining a dysfunctional family. Among the examples of childhood adversity is a woman who is haunted by her parents' refusal to allow her to attend the circus with her classmates and a person who is shattered by once being denied money for an ice cream cone. Virtually all survivors of negative childhood experiences can boost their self-image by adapting the seven "resiliencies" prescribed by the authors. The resiliencies include insight, humor, independence, initiative, and creativity. Pseudo-psychological jargon abounds: e.g., discard the "damage model," adapt the "challenge model," and develop your "resiliency mandala." Suitable for the self-perceived walking wounded; for large public libraries.
- Carol R. Glatt, VA Medical Ctr. Lib., Philadelphia
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 252 pages
• Publisher: Villard; 1st edition (March 16, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0394583574
• ISBN-13: 978-0394583570
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.2 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #604,530 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars And you thought you had problems?, February 27, 2000

By 

well read (Syracuse, NY USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Resilient Self: How Survivors of Troubled Families Rise Above Adversity (Hardcover)

Resilient Self focuses on case histories (all fascinating)of people who came from devastating childhoods, and yet are now leading happy and productive lives. The best part of this book is that the Wolins (husband and wife team)also point out what these people did to change their lives around, that you can apply to your own life. This book is the most uplifting book that I have read. I've loaned it to most of my friends who are trying futiley to change their lives despite a crazy childhood. It is excellent and a fast read. Oh, by the way, the authors' suggestions really work!

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A fly on the wall, July 13, 2001

By 

Melanie Clark (Arnold, Maryland United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Resilient Self: How Survivors of Troubled Families Rise Above Adversity (Paperback)

I am reading this book on the advice of my counselor. I checked it out of the library first because I didn't want to buy it if I didn't like it. When I found myself wanting to write in and highlight the passages of the library's copy, I knew I needed a copy of my own. The Resilient Self is singularly the most difficult book to read that I own. I read a chapter and put it down for a while. The thing that makes it difficult is that Dr. Wolin seems to see right through me. I think he was a fly on the wall at home in my family of origin. How could he possibly know what happened to me and how I feel about it unless he was there? I like the book because it tells me that it is not me that is flawed. I have strength and character of my own, something my counselor has been trying to tell me for five months. I also learned that there is no such thing as a perfect family. They all have troubles and challenges to overcome. We do the best we can with what we have. My advice: if you think your family of origin had problems, read this book.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Useful Toolkit for Dealing with Life's Challenges, July 1, 2006

By 

Dr. Richard G. Petty (Atlanta) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Resilient Self: How Survivors of Troubled Families Rise Above Adversity (Paperback)

Although written several years ago, this remains a valuable book for anyone who has or is facing adversity. Interestingly, many of the ideas in the book, which were based on a great deal of clinical observation, have actually been born out by empirical research.

One of the least helpful ideas that entered the mainstream of pop psychology was the notion that we are robots who can be programmed to behave dysfunctionally by adverse life events. That simple notion missed the fact that many people who have had awful life experiences turn out just fine, and others who seemed to enjoy every advantage have developed enormous problems. The fact is that we are a composite of our genes and our life experiences. And the genes in the brain do not so much determine our behavior, as predispose us to how we react to the environment. There is also increasing evidence that mental states may impact gene expression. So positive thoughts and emotions may be able to overcome or ameliorate the impact of negative experiences. Enter the notion of resilience, which has a genetic component, but can also be learned.

This book revolves around the idea that triumph over adversity involves seven key components:
1. Insight
2. Independence
3. Robust relationships
4. Initiative
5. Creativity
6. Humor
7. Morality

Each chapter is loaded with evaluations and advice on strengthening these key characteristics.

The model deals only with psychological resilience, with a few nods toward physical and spiritual resilience.

Warmly recommended.