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Con Respeto: Bridging the Distances Between Culturally Diverse Families and Schools : An Ethnographic Portrait [Paperback]

Guadalupe Valdes (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Book Description

April 1, 1996 0807735264 978-0807735268
This is the story of ten Mexican immigrant families and of how each goes about the business of surviving and learning to succeed in a new world. It describes how the parents prepare their children for a rapidly changing world so as to become competent adults.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Teachers College Press (April 1, 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0807735264
  • ISBN-13: 978-0807735268
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.2 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #201,250 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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34 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Educating Parents, July 2, 2000
This review is from: Con Respeto: Bridging the Distances Between Culturally Diverse Families and Schools : An Ethnographic Portrait (Paperback)
Finally! Finally we have an ethnographer who is able, or maybe just willing, to research the heart of the matter. Why do immigrant children have problems assimilating; why are they less likely to go to class; why are they less likely to graduate; why do they feel marginalized? Guadalupe Valdes attempts to answer these questions in her book Con Respeto by interviewing and observing the lives of ten mexican-american families. Similar ethnographies have focused on the school environment --- what are these immigrant children experiencing at school that would cause them to be marginalized the way they are? Valdes, who still looks at the school environment, spends the majority of her time examining the families of the immigrant students, and what their home life consists of. This deeper examination proves very fruitful by clearing up possible misconceptions one could have walked away with after reading books like Jocks and Burnouts, Gender Play, and Made in America. Are the parents responsible for the triumphs, and in many cases, the failures of their children in school? Valdes would say, yes, but only partially. The schools, Valdes feels, could still do more, or at least communicate more effectively with the parents.

What can be done to make the learning experiences of these immigrant children more pleasant and more fruitful? Until now, the majority of literature has focused on what the school could do differently in terms of how they could better teach these children. Strategies have been mentioned like better understanding of the children's needs, or better understanding of the children's culture, or more money and resources for materials designed to use the child's own culture as a basis of the curriculum. Valdes, on the other hand, makes a strong case that maybe the parents should be given a better understanding as to why education is important in the first place, thus empowering them to help their own children succeed at school.

Throughout Con Respeto, Valdes illustrates how the relationship between the parent and child could develop into one that is discouraging to the child's education. She states that even though the families recognize that school is important they often do not know why. She shows that as a result, these parents could send mixed signals to their children and actually hamper their education. She also shows how parents might become fearful of the education their children are getting: will my children some day leave me, will my children stop respecting me, will they think I'm dumb. These beliefs by parents could also be harmful to a child's education.

As to what should be done, the issue still seems somewhat uncertain. There are plenty of good arguments for government intervention and for the "changing of families," as Valdes put it. There are also plenty of good arguments for the flip side: leave the families alone, or at least, don't intervene, which, by the way, Valdes acknowledges as very important. Valdes makes it clear, in her final chapter, that she supports neither side fully, and that what should be done is uncertain -- perhaps, Valdes reveals, people should just understand what these families are going through.

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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Aztec history lovers, this is for you, September 23, 2004
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yankee-in-ca (San Francisco area) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Con Respeto: Bridging the Distances Between Culturally Diverse Families and Schools : An Ethnographic Portrait (Paperback)
I learned more about the Mexica worldview from living with eight Mexican families, through this book, than from all the old codices combined. The little precolumbian homilies children got in Tenochtitlan--little rules for living that created respectful, self-respecting children--they go by a different name but remain unchanged! Here in California half of all children are born to Mexican parents. The Catholic/Aztecan patriarchy does not mix with the go-it-alone Yankee work-ethic, period. For example: To move away from your family for a better-paying job is to fail miserably. What are material possessions if your children's grandparents are so far away?

That alone helps explain Mexican poverty, but how rich they are in other ways! The author doesn't offer a solution to this culture shock. The solution is clearly up to us, and we can learn so much from each other!

One of my son's teachers used to be a prosecuting attorney (she even looks like Marcia Clark), and she teaches 10-year-olds how to debate by playing devil's advocate herself--the pupil is emotionally in the witness box. How is a child who was taught by age three NEVER to interrupt an adult supposed to summon the courage to raise his or her hand, let alone sharply disagree with a teacher? We could make it clearer to them that there will be times to speak out as adults, and school is practice for that, in a safe environment. We can also learn something from Mexicans about how to raise polite, courteous children.

The author could not, for the life of her, make the concept of feminism understood. "But my husband works as hard as I do!" was all the women could say. The marriages are rock-solid because husband and wife respect and depend on each other. (Where's the famous wife-beating? I've read elsewhere that in Mexico highly educated men are far more likely to abuse their wives, because in a patriarchy a man's reputation is dependent upon the behavior of his family, and the higher the position, the more a man has to lose. Different world!)

What a great way to understand Mexico and the people we share the continent with. Thanks to this book, if I get something home from school that I, a native speaker of English with a college education, find absurd or incomprehensible, I go on the warpath for the sake of the Hispanic families in town. A state-wide, sex-and-drugs questionaire PERMISSION SLIP policy was changed through a direct request from me. I keep buying used copies of Con Respeto to give away to principals and teachers.

Excellent work for a changing country, Dr. Valdes. A popular version, with more from the husbands and more photographs, would easily become a 5-star best-seller.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought-provoking book, April 4, 2009
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This review is from: Con Respeto: Bridging the Distances Between Culturally Diverse Families and Schools : An Ethnographic Portrait (Paperback)
This book is not a hard read, but it is packed with thought-provoking insights from the author. Valdes's descriptions of the 10 Mexican immigrant families from her study will forever change how you view culture and education. A must-read for all future educators, policy-makers, and parents.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
Mexican-origin children have not fared well in American schools. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
unemployed during study, east side barrio, focal children, family intervention programs, parent education programs, caste minorities, language minority students, east side neighborhood, genetic argument
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
United States, Las Fuentes, Maria Elena, Isela Sotelo, Rosario Castro, Reina Leyba, Velma Soto, Pedro Soto, Carmen Ornelas, Con Respeto, Juan Pedro, Socorro Tinajero, Chuy Castro, Gloria Cerda, Ellis Island, Marla Elena, Joaquin Ramirez, Third World, Washington State, Department of Education, Emma Alicia, Veterans Administration, West Coast
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