Customer Reviews

Rest in Peace: Insider's Tips to the Low Cost Less Stress Funeral

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I don't think any of us, except maybe Funeral Directors, like talking about funerals. I can't ever remember thinking, "Gee, I wonder if there is a book about funerals I might read."

I realized, though, when my Dad passed away a few years ago just how little I knew about the "process" of funerals in the US. I was overwhelmed, unable to think clearly and disconcerted by the woman at the head of a long table giving us her condolences with price list in hand.

If we had read R. Brian Burkhardt's "Rest in Peace" anytime before that day, we would have been better prepared.

"Rest in Peace" demystifies the funeral process. Speaking frankly yet with compassion, the author tells us exactly what happens and who is responsible for a loved one's body when they pass away. He outlines what most states require and provides references for more information.

Pages 4 and 5 set the tone for the book and define the purposes for a funeral. The first purpose was obvious but the others were eye-openers - and they aren't what you think!

Then he outlines the arrangements for a "typical" funeral and suggests options to save money without sacrificing the quality of the experience. In fact, his suggestions can strengthen relationships.

It may seem odd, this talk of "saving money" on a funeral, but when you read "Rest in Peace" you may reach the same conclusion I have: The passing of a loved one is personal - and all that can be done to keep it personal and make it meaningful for family, friends and acquaintances, the better. It just so happens that saving money is a by-product of making it meaningful.

Specific suggestions are made to not only help you save money but to help reduce the stress and pressure you may feel at this future turning point in your life. When you are finished with his book, you'll feel empowered and able to take control of a very difficult situation when necessary.

Without reservation, I recommend buying and reading "Rest in Peace: Insider's Tips to the Low Cost Less Stress Funeral." This guide should be in everyone's home.

As someone who has faced the unexpected death of a young family member, I can't stress enough the importance of this book.

R. Brian Burkhardt provides what no one else will: an insider's look inside the funeral business. Your funeral director will not tell you about "The Funeral Rule", enacted in the early 1980's to protect consumers from unfair practices when purchasing a funeral and funeral related items. R. Brian explains it all. With both steely-eyed pragmatism and a heart of compassion he takes you through all of the important decisions you will be faced with, whether you are pre-arranging or are facing an unexpected loss.

You may be surprised to learn that you can have a funeral the way you want it for a lower cost than you expected. I learned that there are many options available that I wasn't aware of. Our family used one of the touching examples of real-life funerals that R. Brian recounts: We played "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me at my daughter-in-law's gravesite, and it was very, very moving. I'm so glad that we included it.

This is an important reference book which belongs in every home, as well as in every church library and in the hands of every hospital chaplain/social worker.

So many people are fearful about death. Information gives you power and erases fear. This book is uplifting and empowering each and every page. The author is known world-wide as a funeral expert. After you read this book you'll know why. I emailed him, which you can do, and told him that after reading it, I thought the cover should be yellow (sunrises, daffodils) instead of black.
Sometimes I do things that I'll only do once or twice. And I know when I enter the business that the people that are working there have done the things they're doing, day after day. And so saying, they have honed their skills to get maximum benefit from their situation. We cannot possibly be expected to be ready for the manipulations we will be exposed to. Mr Burkhardt takes care of that for us. What do you do when the funeral director asks for permission to embalm? Why does he need permission? What do you say when he says he has to because he does not have a refrigeration unit? Well, what? He doesn't have all day and your Dad has just died. Your Dad is a veteran. Does that give you more options? What is pre-need, and why or why not? What is aftercare? Where do I get a death certificate? What do I do with it?
I could not think of one question after I read this book. He writes pointfully - no filler, and repeats information when appropriate (so you don't have to look around for it!). Transporting the deceased on a plane? What is the FTC's number? Where do I get the things I need to plan my low-cost funeral? And by low-cost he means you can send your loved one off with the fanfare the person deserves. Mr. Burkhardt also has a blog and tweets!
It took me three hours to read this book without taking notes. That means it will probably take you one. One hour to feel good and powerful; and you will. I say five stars and you will not regret it. And it will save you a lot of money and heartache later.

I was relieved to find this book was not a profession-trashing expose like Mitford's tome from long ago. Instead, I found Burkhardt's book insightful and filled with practical and easy strategies to help the consumer be more in control of the funeral process.
The book is compact and easy to read, well-written, concise. He highlights the importance of pre-arranging, outlines the importance of ceremony and memorialization, and stresses the need for assertiveness (not aggressiveness) on the part of the family. As a 16+ year funeral director and author, I would counsel my friends and family likewise.
Excellent resource with a refreshingly objective and honest voice.

Rest in Peace, by R. Brian Burkhardt was a good book overall. I think there are too many chapters, and not having an index is annoying. That said, I gained a lot of intel from reading the book and would recommend it to people who are planning a funeral or life celebration. It goes into specifics about how to negotiate deals with funeral directors, and offers a refreshing point of view from an actual funeral director. (Burkhardt is a funeral director.) There are a couple of corny things that I wish the book wouldn't do -- like referring to readers as President, and, other sorts of silly verbiage. The major plus side, is it is a super fast read, and it will certainly get you started in dealing with the often greedy funeral world, and if nothing else, will teach you to ask questions and edumucate yourself before you go to a funeral home or hire an independent funeral director to sign a death certificate. It will also highlight laws we have in place protecting the public on one side and the funeral professionals on the other side.

Christine Olson, Owner, Wake the Memory, LLC
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this is (other than the Bible) the ONE book EVERY household in the USA (and probably Canada) should have on their bookshelf. It is not a LONG read, but it can save you a LOT of money -- I had to plan funerals and buy an extra head stone by the time I was 50!
One funeral, I had to do when I had just turned 20! SO, it is GREAT for ppl of ALL ages.
It has a bias to it on pre payment plans, but one can make up your own mind after listening to the author's opinions and points to ponder.
I had ALREADY learned (too late for me to use for the previous funerals) that one can buy discount coffins on-line. Just do a search, they ship to any funeral home quickly, for you.