Customer Reviews

Rest Stop (R-Rated Edition)

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(20)
2 star:		(20)
1 star:		(34)

 

 

I like horror, no, I love horror. My vast collection is comprised of 98% horror, a good deal of them are low budget schlockfests. Old films, films with no budget, etc. They have an excuse for being bad, and thus, are "so bad theyre good".

This film has no excuse whatsoever for being as bad as it is, except for an idiotic script and director. This film had the money, the technology, the time, and the eye-candy to be good. It's a simple premise for a film, nigh impossible to screw up. "Rest Stop" is one big screw up.

It's expected that when a movie begins with a road trip, there will be an almost mandatory music video montage. Acoustic guitar will play, scenes of the happy travelers cruising along in their car past farms, cities, etc. will play out. They will fumble with the radio and make silly faces, smoke dope, laugh etc. The director chose to up that count a bit, and as a result several times in this film the viewer is sitting around watching what is effect a meaningless music video.

The girl picks up a bottle of whisky and starts pugging away, and thus begins the next full-song, music video showcase. Shots of her swigging, crying, throwing things, etc, to the sound of the music.

Fast-Forward time, several times this happens.

Long, drawn out sequences of characters crying, sappy music blaring, for what seems like an eternity. Everything in this movie is drawn out far longer than it needs to be, hence the title of my review. I ended up just fast-forwarding 5 minutes of what needed to be a one or two minute scene. We get it, the character is sad, they are crying. Move on.

Fast-Forward

Now horror movie protagonists are not known for their intelligence, we all know this, but when the viewer is absolutely flogged with idiocy it's very hard to play dumb ourselves.

- near-dead policeman lays at your feet, victim of the killer. The killer is ambling around like a drunken fool before you. Do you grab the policeman's gun? Do you perhaps grab the policemans radio? Not this idiot.

- The killer's vehicle is before you, empty with keys inside. Do you jump in and flee? Not this idiot.

- You have a deranged lunatic on your trail. You find a bottle of whiskey. Do you get so plowed that you finally pass out? This idiot chose to do so.

Im sorry, there's just no excuse for the sheer stupidity of the central character of this film, other than a reason to draw the film out. Like the aforementioned 5+ minute long scenes of crying and shaking her fists at the sky, the entire movie itself should have been boiled down, cut in half. The lead character is a stupid, whiny poltroon that had no right to survive the ordeal as long as she did. The killer, an incompetent moron.

And the stupid, almost randomly inserted "wacky backwoods family" was an utterly lame attempt to portray something like a Texas Chainsaw type backwoods brood. Unfortunately, they have none of the realistic panache that makes the aforementioned hicks from hell so memorable. There's some ok gore, but I can say without a doubt that it isnt worth sitting thru the rest of this absolutely tedious film. Thank God I only rented it

I didn't expect much out of Rest Stop, and I was right to. Not only does Rest Stop follow many of the cliche slasher formulas, it features one of the dumbest heroines to ever grace a direct to DVD horror movie, who for some reason seems to keep running back to the place where all the terror started. Said girl makes the mistake of using an ungodly dirty rest stop to do her business, and then gets chased by an insane trucker who apparently has some sort of supernatural powers. Later on, she hitches a ride with a family that has a mutant baby. And just when you think the unintentional comedy stops there, Joey Lawrence (don't give me Joseph Lawrence, your forever known as Joey, deal with it or dance away) stops by as an ill-fated park ranger. There's a heaping amount of decent gore effects, but the sheer stupidity of the characters just makes you scratch your head and wonder. Had Rest Stop not taken itself so seriously and had instead gone the horror/tongue-in-cheek route (a la Slither), maybe this wouldn't have been so bad. But alas, this is best to be avoided, or maybe seen so that you can have a good laugh.

They say the Direct-to-DVD movie is coming of age. Where it once was a dumping ground for low budget losers and deceiving imitations it has supposedly achieved a more resonant form of quality. That's what they say.
John Shiban cut his entree into film as writer-producer of the X Files. You may remember his newborn son cast as baby William in a few episodes.
In Rest Stop Mr. Shiban has an unflinching desire to continuously display the atrocities in a filthy and disgustingly dirty ladies room. The fact that the lady in question prefers this to a short jaunt in the woods is ridiculous. No woman would be caught dead or even think of entering this place. Enough already.
This is a sick slasher sort of film that portrays brutality and violence but retrieves nothing for the viewer. The one star is for Jaimie Alexander who is obviously a fine actress trying to work her craft in a poor production.
This is pure junk. The three alternate endings are junk.
Mr. Shiban should return to his roots and try again.

absolutely TERRIBLE!!!!! this movie is retarted even by horror movie standards... the scene with the police officer (lol) speaks to my truth (why wouldnt he have even REACHED for his gun?)..... totally illogical... stay away stay away... bad unless you want a good laugh..but still not worth the watch

Spoilers ahead:
I am not hard to please when it comes to horror movies, and totally enjoy a good B flick. But I have to say that this one was just terrible. There's really no plot and even though you expect the charaters to do some silly stuff like go into creepy houses or whatever, I just couldn't believe how stupid the main character really was!!
How do you continue to hang out at that rest stop when the guy keeps coming back to mess with you? I mean come on!!! Breaking into the rangers office on site, no less, and getting drunk...all the while waiting for the phycho to come back and have another go at her? Then missing every possible opportunity to kill the psycho. Was no one else shouting at the screen "Grab the cop's gun and shoot the psycho!" as they watched him stroll by them to tow his motorbike.
And running infront of the truck, in the headlights... There was forest all around her and she never once went and hid, just hung out inside that disgusting bathroom. A sitting duck that deserved to be put out of it's misery in my opinion.
No, it was simply unbelievable and I was relieved when the credits rolled. So glad I didn't actually pay the rental fee on this one.

While it would be impossible to say that this horror film is the most aweful film ever, it would not be to far from the truth saying that it is a terrible one. It starts out promising with a dumb woman in a rest stop getting terrorized by an unseen stalker and then it landslides downhill from there. None of the acting is really that good but if I had to pick the person who did alright it would be Jaimie Alexander, the protagonist. Of course, as expected with any truly bad horror film, her character is as dumb as the cardboard box she was crafted from. Everyone else, including the all but lost Joey Lawrence, are damn near pathetic. The gore is ok in this film... although a little over the top in some points. The story is one that could have (and damnit... it should have been) cut down to an anthology length (this would fit in sort of well with the Masters of Horror series) and it probably would have been a lit better. As it is, the whole stretch of being at one Rest Stop is a bit dull after a while... even when she manages to venture out into a camper van full of really wacky nut cases. Top this lame puppy off with a dark (but incredibly unrealistic) ending and you have a truly low end attempt at being a scary halloween flick.

a horror movie for the brain dead. a ridiculous and stupid screenplay full of holes. if you want to scare the viewers witless, at least you should come up with some smart tricks not just a smaller version of stephen king's semi with a redneck guy driving a beat-up old truck at will to kill people since what? 1957? what? a super nature mystery? so this girl was making love with her boy friend in the wildness, how come a voyeur-like close-up film would have shown up in an old tv? how it was possible? what?! that ranger's station got cable or satellite subscription? how is possible her boyfriend's blue sedan would disappear without a trace and then appeared in from of the ranger's station? what? if so many people mysteriously gone missing at that particular highway section and at that specific rest stop, why there's no fbi involvement at all so far? why in heaven's name a motorcycle cop would possibly show up in the middle of the night? did we all knew that the next rest stop was about 60 miles away? so where this stupid cop show up? if that cop was crashed by that stupid yellow truck, if that young woman indeed was smart enough, why she didn't withdraw the cop's gun and should that killer kingdom come? and, folks, could you tell me why the director and screenwriters decided to let us listen several times to the girl's urinating sound? what's the purpose of continuously showing her in the filthy toilet cubicle to pee? just want us to become a voyeur peeping tom or what?
the stereotyped problem of watching horror movies or those alien movies is always like this: they treat viewers like morons who got the least brain and education and think they could get away with a stupid screenplay, a stupid director and a bunch of young actors who would do anything if only they could be casted in anything as long as it is called a movie. screaming, crying, cursing, gory bloody scenes, scary sound effects, special effects...anything goes. and it all started when you hid behind a corner, awaiting your friend come up, as soon as he or she just about to pass by, you jumped out and made a scary scream. but unfortunately, we are not childish kids anymore, and you should not stay in that age still try to scare people in the same way.
don't stop at this 'rest stop', even you want to release the pressure of your nature call, just follow jack london's instruction: follow the 'call of the wild'. and you could save some stupid harassment possibility.

If you plan on watching Rest Stop with the intentions of being scared or shocked, save your time. If, however, you want to make fun of a ridiculous horror movie, continue reading.

Rest Stop starts off with a cheesy montage reminiscent of a 70s movie; there's a senseless killing, a creepy truck, bad home video footage, and an EXTREME NIPPLE CLOSEUP. After that it gets funnier.

Two kids, who probably have ADHD, or at the very least are a product of inbreeding, runaway from home to become big stars in Hollywood. Fat chance! When the boy looks like Damone from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", and the girl acts like Leo DiCaprio in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" - and she's not supposed to be retarded - then you know they'll just end up as street vendors or fluffers in another kind of movie. It's better that they meet someone to put them out of their misery.

On their way to California, in the only bit of realism in the entire movie, the girl has to go to the bathroom (#1). Sure enough, they stop at the rest stop from hell. Shortly thereafter, she's dropping trou' at the foulest toilet in the history of mankind; the only thing it was missing was a fecal mural.

After conducting business (#1), she leaves the restroom to find her boyfriend missing. At first I thought it was because he was tired of her horrible acting, and he just decided to go it alone in Hollywood. I was wrong, and soon the girl starts to get terrorized by a guy who has watched a collection of horror movies prior to visiting the rest stop. He watched "Joy Ride" to learn how to use a CB, "Hostel" to learn how to torture, "Sixth Sense" to cause the conjuring of ghosts, "Texas Chainsaw" to deal with an RV of freaks (although he could have just watched RV with Robin Williams).

The rest of the movie unfolds as anticipated, replete with gimps, freaks, pointless gore, religious nuts, idiotic dialogue, unrealistic amounts of blood, senseless destruction, incoherent crying, and a Joey Lawrence cameo as the most incompetent cop since the father in "The Hills Have Eyes". Thankfully, Joey portrays the black guy in this movie, and he dies quickly and stupidly.

Does the girl get chased? Yes.
Does the girl fall down? Oh, you know it!
Is the killer seemingly indestructible? Of course.
Does the girl make countless wrong decisions, one after another? Clearly.

It's predictably moronic, and I loved it. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Score one for the bad guys!

You know those great horror/thrillers, where the lone hero/heroine has to match wits against a sadistic madman? Movies like "Breakdown", "The Vanishing", "The Hitcher" or "Joy Ride"? "Rest Stop" tries to reach that level of suspense, but fails on every level.
You will be AMAZED at the stupidity as it unfolds onscreen. Dumb girl runs away with Dumber boyfriend to California. Along the way this annoying couple stops to have sex, argue, and take a "short cut". While on this "short cut" the girl has to use the restroom and refuses to cop-a-squat in the grass for fear of snakes. (Keep in mind that this same girl didn't mind rolling around in the snake-country tall grass and woods just 3 minutes earlier bumpin' nasties in an earlier drawn out scene) So dumb boyfriend pulls over at the next "REST STOP" oooohhhh!
I'm not into spoilers so I won't elaborate beyond that. The heroine has the IQ of a scrambled egg, and continually makes astoundingly stupid decisions. At one point some mutant hillbillies are thrown in..and why not, if your going to rip off "Hostel", might as well throw in a little "Hills Have Eyes" too. Somewhere along the line a supernatural element gets thrown in as well...it doesn't add to the movie, but becomes more of a distraction. I kept wondering what is the purpose, are these ghosts, is the girl insane? You will never know the answer, so don't bother. It's just another element added by a writer/director who is just throwing all kinds of ideas into his film to see what sticks...most of which doesn't.
All of this would be fine if we have a great sadistic anti-hero to root for, like Freddy or Jason. You don't even get that. Some finger-sucking guy drives around a canary yellow Ford F150 looking like a deranged stock room guy from Home Depot who got lost. I guess by keeping him hidden it's suposed to build suspense? It doesn't, and we are left without anyone to care or root for.
I'll wrap this up by saying avoid "Rest Stop". I love "bad" movies, but I hate boring movies, and boring is what "Rest Stop" excels at.

I certainly wasn't expecting a masterpiece when I sat down to watch this horror film, but I was often confused and found this to be really worthless on any level. Besides being extremely predictable, it also contains many unexplained things - one being a former victim of the killer suddenly disappears, which could be explained as a ghost, but when a cop disappears after being killed, it just makes NO sense at all. This is only part of the problem with this mess of a movie. The actors are unconvincing and they do unnatural things in the situations they're in. The film is very unoriginal and we've seen it all before done so much better, even in bad horror films.