Customer Reviews

The Restless Heart: Finding Our Spiritual Home in Times of Loneliness

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I got this book in the library, but I am going to buy it, because I liked it so much. So what, if it is a reprint. Books get reprinted for a reason. Exploring the universal condition loneliness, it goes way beyond this fashonable self-help stuff (join a social club, become a volunteer). It cuts through to the very heart of the matter. We are lonely, because we are alienated and seperated from our true nature: We are spiritual beings, we are Soul, we are a spark of God. And as long as we don't recognize our true nature, no amount of entertainment or volunteering will ease our pain. This is, what the book is about, and I could not agree more.

We've all heard that there are two sides of everything. In this book, Fr. Rolheiser shows the reader that loneliness can be crippling but channeled correctly can be a creative force in one's life. I like the way he starts with defining what loneliness is, then moves on to the different causes of loneliness and the kinds of loneliness. He doesn't present a treatise on how to cure loneliness but more of a gentle leading that makes the reader understand that as human beings separated momentarily from our Creator, we will always have a touch of loneliness to be back in our forever home.

This book also offers insight on how loneliness affects even our most basic relationships like loneliness can cause overpossesiveness that drives people away instead of closer or being too eager to please can make people uncomfortable.

In the end, Fr. Rolheiser concludes that we are destined to feel some loneliness because of our separation from God but that same loneliness is the driving force that makes us reach out for Him and others.

Hard to put into words the insights of this book. I have had answers to questions I have had for years about loneliness and isolation that as a christian is part of the walk. All I can say is read the book. No formulas here(ie pray more, read bible more, etc) but really helpful insights.

Cannot reccomend this book enough.

great insight into the effects of loneliness i.e. restlessness and how to turn it positive. knowledge and understanding is the key.

In 2004, the year this book was reissued, I was engulfed by loneliness after a deep betrayal by a friend and by my spiritual community. In the time since, I have been driven to not only understand that personal trial, but also to contemplate human loneliness--its causes and its purposes in our lives. This book is the most helpful I have come across regarding this subject.

Rolheiser offers a well-thought out and deep examination of loneliness, beginning with its dangers-- chief among them, its being a roadblock to human intimacy. He then describes the various types of loneliness--alienation,restlessness,fantasy,rootlessness,and psychological depression.

Writing from a Christian perspective, he goes over Old and New Testament reasons for loneliness,including sin, and being a pilgrim on earth. He then writes about 4 great Christian theologians' thoughts on the subject--Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, John of the Cross, and Karl Rahner. I personally loved this section-- to know that others over the past 2 millenia have wrestled with the same issues I do today was immensely comforting to me, and I was encouraged by their perspectives.

He concludes with a discussion of the hidden benefits of loneliness and ways to minimize it in our lives.

A key insight for me is that loneliness will never be fully overcome in this life--we are created for complete union with God, and since that is impossible here on earth, we will inevitably experience loneliness at times.

The only fault I can find with the book is that it does not go into the psychological reasons for loneliness,such as childhood trauma or difficulties with attachment to others. Rolheiser is a theologian, not a therapist, so perhaps he felt that area was beyond the scope of his expertise. Still, I think including a brief summation of that topic would have been helpful.

Engaging,well-organized,compassionate--this book is as timely today as when it was first published.

I'm in the process of reading through this book a second time already. I read it for the first time a few months ago while spending a month in a School for Spiritual Direction at a monastery in New Mexico. The Restless Heart wasn't part of my required reading, but something I picked up while there. It would be an understatement to say I'm glad I found it, because this book is still bringing new insights and understanding to me even five months after having first read it.

The complexities of the human condition are such that it is so very difficult to discuss the issues of loneliness and restlessness of the soul without diving into clinical descriptions and categories. Before long, the discussion begins to get weighted down to the point it is difficult to follow...at least this is true for me. The problem with this situation is that almost every human soul is afflicted with issues of loneliness and each of us strives to deal with it in some way. Trying to understand the nature of our affliction and how to meet it or overcome it becomes one of the major questions in life.

I found the writing of Ronald Rolheiser very amenable to my knowledge, experience, and ability to understand the nature of my own struggles with loneliness. Over and over as he explained the nature and condition of the restless and lonely soul, I was able to connect with the illustrations and stories as my own. I think, perhaps for the first time, the proverbial "light bulb" came on and I started to realize the nature of loneliness and how pervasive it is in every soul. Not only was I able to get a glimpse into the deep longing of my own soul, I was able to understand and empathize with the struggles others face and the subsequent consequences of their struggles. Each of us is affected in our relationships and our spiritual formation by the loneliness of our souls and restless search for true spiritual community.

The notes from the publisher on the back of my (paperback) copy tell that this book is a "thoughtful exploration...in the tradition of Henri Nouwen's classic Reaching Out." I might suggest that title for reading too. I am currently reading it myself and see the two studies as complimentary to one another.

Rolheiser's study in loneliness has two major movements. He first addresses the nature of loneliness. In this section he deals with the clinical side of loneliness. I found this very objective and well presented; it was easy to follow and I found myself subconsciously nodding with agreement as I read through the chapters discussing the problems, dangers, and types of loneliness. This section was a great setup for part two of the exploration which deals with understanding loneliness from a Christian perspective. In this section Rolheiser details what the ancient Hebrew texts say about loneliness and then moves to discussions from the New Testament Scriptures. Following the Biblical contexts of the study, he addresses the thoughts of classic Christian theologians; Augustine, Aquinas, and John of the Cross to name a few.

The study is summarized with the closing chapters, The Potential Value of Loneliness and Toward a Spirituality of Loneliness. It is in these chapters that Rolheiser brings the message home to the reader and teaches about the unexpected joys and opportunities that exist in the quiet places of loneliness. I am able to see this very clearly in the writings of Henri Nouwen from Reaching Out, but I'm not sure if that would have been so clear to me had I not spent several months pouring over Rolheiser's The Restless Heart. I feel very fortunate to have found this book and even more glad that I have my own copy to refer to over and over again. It is, in my opinion, a spiritual classic and deserves to be read by anyone seeking to grow deeper in their journey with Jesus Christ.

One of my favorite authors. Very sound theology. Direct and to the point! Very helpful insights.

This is a reprint, and it reads like one. It's over twenty years old, and I could tell. It has a very sentimental feel. My best friend read it also and didn't like it at all. He described its tone as "emotionalistic" and "effeminate". I can see why. The author tries hard to convey lots of warm and fuzzy feelings for readers, but it just doesn't seem to work. Personally, it reminds me of how my over-fifty friends talk about life; they seem to be stuck in the 1960's.