Customer Reviews

Resurrecting Sex: Solving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing Your Relationship

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

The fifty pages in Part II are the core content of this book. They offer a comforting view of the difficult side of marriage - the long term, committed relationship where sex is dead or dying. I say "comforting" because Schnarch maps out the progression of a relationship in a way where you can see that the fluctuations in the passion and intimacy couples feel for each other are part of the natural growth cycle of a marriage. What sometimes feels like the end of a relationship is actually a trigger for the next growth cycle, for the individual and the couple. Through various examples using couples from his practice and his own marriage, he offers encouragement and practical advice to help couples through this sometimes difficult and frustrating cycle of a marriage.

The tone of Schnarch's writing is more down to earth, like advice from a friend, compared with his other book "Passionate Marriage" which is also excellent but sometimes sounds a little preachy in comparison. This more personal tone, plus use of examples from his own life experience make this book like a personal consultation with Dr. Schnarch.

This is SO different from any other book about sex you will ever read. But different in a GREAT way. This is about how sexual incompatibilies (big or small) are normal, WHY they are normal, and how to resolve them. Every single married couple should read this book, maybe repeatedly.

Dr. David Schnarch has pioneered and developed a profound and penetrating approach to sex and intimacy within committed relationships. Schnarch uncovers the basic connection between sexual growth, the growth of intimacy, and personal growth within a relationship. Hot sex, increased closeness in your partnerships, and much personal growth--GREAT. My wife and I have been married 45 years, through ups and downs, a good marriage. We've read countless books on marriage, been involved in various "marriage weekends," etc., etc. Without doubt, Schnarch's work has been the most beneficial to our married lives. There should be a warning attached to his work, however: Schnarch's approach brings a couple into fuller honesty and greater exposure. Many couples maintain their status quo and keep the peace by building walls of silence around "sensitive" areas. In short, they keep their marriages safe by more-or-less agreeing to a degree of dishonesty. When those often-comfortable walls of silence come down, intimacy builds; you will know each other better than ever. But THAT is the risk, the scary part. You may not like what you learn.

As a 25-year-old, sexually confident female, the last thing I expected to be reading was a self-help book about sex and relationships. But after two years of a serious relationship with a steadily declining sex life, I was miserably considering what I thought were my only two choices: life without my partner, or a life without intimacy. This book not only gave me far more appealing options, but also a great deal of hope and comfort. The author doesn't play around, though - his explanations of behaviour, excuses, and coping mechanisms used by most couples are clear and straightforward. This direct approach, for me, offered so much more than step-by-step solutions to my problems; it allowed insight into my relationship, the lack of which had previously been leaving me frozen in place. With new understanding and the knowledge that I am very much not alone, I now feel that the issues we face as a couple are far from insurmountable, and may in all likelihood bring us the closeness that all couples crave. I could relate to almost every case study in the book, and it opened my mind to an understanding of relationships that I have never had before. I would recommend this book to every couple, of any age, whether they are in crisis or not.

I love to read and so does my husband, however, I think that the format of a book is very important. This book is laid out with very tiny print that is crammed together and reminds me of an encyclopedia, or more like the fine print on a credit card offer. To me it is also very "wordy." Don't get me wrong, I can read wordy and understand it, but when you are having sex problems, you don't necessarily want to feel like you are reading an encyclopedia or are enrolled in a college class. To me, you want to feel like a close friend is talking to you about a very intimate sensitive subject. I bought a lot of books and this one is NOT one of the ones that helped us. Please see my other reviews for books that actually helped to create a change in our marriage.

I would recommend "The Sex Starved Marriage" instead of this book if there is one spouse less interested in sex than the other.