Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship [Hardcover]

David Schnarch (Author), James Maddock (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 006019359X | ISBN-13: 978-0060193591 | Publication Date: August 6, 2002 | Edition: 1st

In this remarkable new book, Dr. David Schnarch, world-renowned sex and marital therapist and author of Passionate Marriage, offers a groundbreaking approach to resolving sexual difficulties and the relationship problems they cause. By showing couples how they can turn their worst sex and relationship disasters into personal growth and spiritual connection, Dr. Schnarch offers couples the best sex of their lives.

In addition to taking an unflinchingly honest, realistic, and erotic approach to sex, Dr. Schnarch reveals the complicated emotional interactions hidden within couples' most private moments. Resurrecting Sex speaks of compassion, partnership, generosity, and integrity in adult sexual relationships, offering hope to millions of people -- golden-anniversary marriages, newly formed couples, and singles alike -- who are struggling with sexual difficulties.

Uplifting, provocative, and heartfelt, the book is organized into four sections:

• A crash course in sex
• Explanation of how sexual relationships really work
• Medical options and bionic solutions
• Vignettes of couples changing their sexual relationships

Resurrecting Sex addresses all major sexual issues, including male erection problems such as rapid orgasm and delayed orgasm; women's problems with arousal and lubrication, difficulty reaching orgasm, and low desire; full coverage of Viagra (for both men and women); and other sex-enhancing drugs and medical options. Rather than dwelling on sexual techniques, this sympathetic book shows how to cure the rejection, hostility, and emotional alienation that often accompany sexual problems. Its unique method helps couples develop the love, affection, and commitment that prevent divorce and strengthen families.

Generous of spirit, enlightened, and insightful, Resurrecting Sex is destined to make the world a better place to fall in love.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Whether the difficulties arise out of middle-aged boredom, serious illness or emotional troubles, Schnarch (Passionate Marriage), director of the Marriage & Family Health Center in Evergreen, Colo., offers a comprehensive guide for couples with intimacy problems. The book includes easily digested chapters on the basics of sex, how sexual relationships work, the use of drugs and surgery, psychological and emotional issues and orgasm. In a straightforward and comforting tone, Schnarch emphasizes the emotional aspect of sexual problems (even when there is an underlying physiological cause) and guides couples through the often difficult changes they have to make in their relationship in and out of bed. Using examples from among his own clients, he explores the way anxiety and tension in other aspects of a marriage can carry over into sexual relationships and gives advice about how couples can better approach each other. While much of his counsel isn't unique, Schnarch's positive, candid approach is appealing, and his tone is authoritative without being threatening. In fact, Schnarch says, "In the course of my life I've had every sexual dysfunction a man can have... I know about embarrassment, self-rejection, blaming myself or my partner, and withdrawing when I 'failed.' " There are no quick fixes or promises of overnight transformation, but those who want to make substantive changes in their relationship should first reach for this book.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

This self-help guide to sexual dysfunction offers fascinating and complex insights into how relationships maintain themselves and change while also covering the usual fixes like Viagra and hormones. Schnarch (Passionate Marriage), a psychologist and sexual/marital therapist, focuses here on an oft-overlooked issue: that anxieties cannot be avoided and hence the only choice is between productive anxieties (dealing honestly with one's feelings) and useless ones (seeking a partner's approval too much). His approach teaches the effective use of anxiety in relationships and sexual change, plus "holding onto yourself" being honest about yourself and your values, confronting yourself, and doing what you think is right when a relationship is troubled. He describes how sex does and doesn't work, how relationships work, how mechanico-pharmacological helpers work, and how to combine these helpers to address particular dysfunctions, including the effects of illness. Throughout, Schnarch stresses the normality of sexual and relationship problems, noting briefly his own past experiences as a patient. He does not promise instant ecstasies and accepts that some couples may not even find sex important. This realistic and multifaceted approach belongs in all public libraries. Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Harper; 1st edition (August 6, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 006019359X
• ISBN-13: 978-0060193591
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 1.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #479,949 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

David Schnarch, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and director of the Marriage and Family Health Center in Evergreen, Colorado. He is founder of the Sexual Crucible Approach(r) to integrated sexual and marital therapy, and the Passionate Marriage Approach(r) for couples. Dr. Schnarch's textbook Constructing the Sexual Crucible is used as a primary text in graduate training programs across the country. He was the first recipient of the Professional Standards of Excellence Award from the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT} and chair of professional education for eight years. Dr. Schnarch currently serves on the editorial board of AAMFT's Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy. He lives in Evergreen, Co1orado.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 54 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Transcending Sexual Self-Help to Greater Marital Intimacy, February 23, 2003

By 

Leon F. Seltzer, PhD "lseltze1" (Del Mar, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship (Hardcover)

This is not simply an excellent self-help book about improving your sexual relationship. It is also an extremely wise book about relational intimacy. *Resurrecting Sex*, David Schnarch's third book, attempts to translate for the layperson many of the essential concepts elucidated originally in his groundbreaking *Constructing the Sexual Crucible*(1991).

As probably the most influential writer in the field of sexual/marital therapy today, the author further bridges the gap between sexual problems--as they have traditionally been viewed in terms of individual dysfunction--and such problems as they can much more fruitfully be perceived as reflecting an individual's (or relationship's) level of development and differentiation.

Unlike virtually all other writers in the field, Schnarch's objective is to assist people not simply in having less problematic (or anxiety-ridden) sex, but in creating the kind of physical connection achievable only through learning how to successfully *confront* one's personal anxieties--namely, through better developing the capacity for self-soothing and self-validation.

Although the book is quite readable, with lots of practical information and suggestions, it is also quite challenging. For readers are inevitably encouraged not only to take more responsibility for what may not be working in their relationship (both in and outside the bedroom), but also to go out on a "relational limb" and be with their spouse in a way that requires considerable emotional courage and self-regulation.

As idealistic as, finally, Schnarch's approach is, it is also exceedingly practical. Totally up-to-date, it covers all the most important sex devices and drugs that can, in particular situations, help with arousal and orgasm difficulties. It also discusses the various techniques that can enable people (both men and women) to overcome their sexual problems (from dyspareunia and vaginismus, to low sexual desire, erectile dysfunction and early ejaculation). But much more important than this, it focuses on how individuals can realize their potential to profoundly change their relationship to their spouse; and by doing so, help the relationship to evolve to a higher, and much more satisfying, level.

This is a book that can transform your sexual relationship from one that is conflicted, indifferent, or just barely positive, to one that is truly innovative, passionate, intimate--and even spiritual. Moreover, if readers earnestly strive to incorporate the author's challenging ideas into their lives, the book has the potential to change them at a profoundly personal level: to alter how they see themselves--not only in the context of their relationship, but from deep within as well.

Ultimately, sexual gratification and fulfillment have to do not just with the sensory stimulation a person receives--or their body's ability to respond optimally to this stimulation. It has to do with achieving an emotional bond with one's partner that itself can contribute to an improved sexual functioning that in the end becomes indistinguishable from the deepest expression of intimacy and love.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A holistic approach, July 26, 2010

By 

bookgirl810s (Pennsylvania) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship (Hardcover)

Rather than picking one quick-fix solution or technique, this book takes time to explain what is really happening on a physical, emotional, and relational level during sex, and it really helped me to understand how all of those components work together. The author emphasizes that having problems doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you or your body; it just means that what you're doing at the moment isn't having the desired effects. I appreciate the holistic approach that considers medical issues but puts the emphasis on personal and relational factors. This book encourages you to take responsibility for yourself and to make changes to improve yourself, which will have the added benefit of strengthening and improving your relationship-- including the sexual component.

10 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another Jewel in a collection of priceless gems, December 16, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship (Hardcover)

First Constructing the Sexual Crucibal, then Passionate Marriage and now, Resurecting Sex. These writings are all rich with a higher knowledge of learning to know ones self, and become a much fuller person and relationship partner. All of these books will change how you see yourself, life and each other and your sexuality. And yes, his ideas really work. Really Really. David's insightful brilliance and humility is a gift to humanity from God...