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Retirement for Two [Hardcover]

Maryanne Vandervelde (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)


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Book Description

August 3, 2004
In Retirement for Two, psychologist Maryanne Vandervelde, author of the breakthrough book The Changing Life of the Corporate Wife, and human resources consultant, picks up where the standard retirement guides leave off. Vandervelde helps spouses-- nearing or already in retirement--confront, with honesty, respect, and humour, the conflicts and adjustments unique at this stage of life.

Vandervelde doesn't give tax or estate planning, or 401K advice; that she leaves to the money men and women (she does deal with the emotional fallout of money and spending, like not having enough). She explores the challenges for couples, who upon retirement find they have many more choices than ever before, and therefore ample room for disagreement and disappointment. Even couples who think they've experienced it all are often suprised by retirements' special challenges.

Retirement for Two offers commonsense advice, tackling such issues as:
*Where will you live? Will you downsize? Move south or west? Split time between city and country? Live apart/together for some time each year?
*What will you do with your time?
*What will your relationships with kids and grandkids be like?
*What kind of social life do you want?
*What do you each desire for the rest of your lives? What happens when you want different things? Have different goals?
*Sex and intimacy.
*getting strong, staying healthy, dealing with a spouse's illness.

Whether you are already grappling with post-work issues, or are approaching retirement age and thinking about how it is all going to work out, here is an invaluable tool you can use to help your relationship--and yourself--survive and thrive through some of the best years of your life.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A refreshingly non-financial book about the pitfalls of retirement, this volume points out that retirement is a major life change: a withdrawal from the workforce, an acknowledgment of old age, a last chance to do what one wants in life. Couples chained together by exigency—raising children, maintaining a household, pursuing careers—suddenly confront an unexpected freedom. According to Vandervelde, a psychologist and author of several books (including The Changing Life of the Corporate Wife), some predictable quandaries often ensue. Spouses who aren’t used to leisure or to the sudden absence of minions to bully may find themselves at a loss for structure or for friends. Money disputes about whether to spend it all or save for rainy days, and about whom should get inheritances and bequests and when, may erupt. And other disagreements—about where to live, how often to have sex, how much time to spend together and how to handle medical problems—can upset the balance between partners. Vandervelde evenhandedly addresses the concerns of gay couples as well as couples on their second or third marriage with mixed families. She is realistic about the ability of couples to manage and survive such upheavals, duly recording not just successes and failures, but also the imperfect, but workable, compromises in between. Perhaps this book’s primary strength, however, lies in the author’s ability to anticipate common crises and encourage couples to address them intelligently and in unison. After all, one’s retirement years are inevitably one’s last. This sensible volume will help readers ensure that they are, in fact, golden years.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Although Vandervelde does mention practicalities such as choosing a place to retire and developing a financial plan, it's her attention to the emotional impact of retirement that sets this book apart from many others on the subject. The challenges of life with a partner 24/7 become abundantly clear, whether Vandervelde is discussing how to negotiate the health care system, revaluate relationships with grown children, reassess needs for intimacy and sex, adjust to physical changes that come with aging, or agree on time spent apart. Real-life scenarios, some from her experience as a therapist, and information drawn from a wide variety of supporting sources (all carefully cited in chapter notes at the back) enhance the discussion, and questions following each chapter allow readers to rethink Vandervelde's ideas in terms of their own situations. Vandervelde never pretends to have all the answers; identifying psychological signposts is her contribution here. Stephanie Zvirin
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam (August 3, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553803824
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553803822
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.4 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,239,426 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

3 Reviews
5 star:
 (2)
4 star:    (0)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
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Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars For Certain Retired Couples, February 22, 2005
By 
This review is from: Retirement for Two (Hardcover)
The audience for this book is the same as for her previous work on corporate couples, those together for the bulk of their adult lives, having raised their children and now face life together, day in and day out, for the first time. The advice is generally commonsensical, assessing each partner's preferences and goals, and getting about enjoying retirement especially for an educated, healthy, professional audience. Unfortunately, it is short on advice for developing interests after a lifetime of work, such as getting training in a new field, which could have made a bibliography quite valuable. For those who remarry in retirement, there is nothing about our issues we face, which are similar to any newly married couple, namely, adjusting to a new person in the house, children, pets, likes and dislikes. This is mainly for couples together for 20 or 30 years. It is a good start in an unexplored field and is easy to read and search out useful ideas.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Good read, September 25, 2011
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This review is from: Retirement for Two (Paperback)
My husband is pretty up on the financial aspects of retirement, but really appreciated this books look at the other aspects of retirement.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, September 26, 2009
By 
James I. Ausman (Rancho Mirage, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
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This review is from: Retirement for Two (Paperback)
Excellent summary of little discussed topic that will become more important as the dynamic psychology between coupes changes as they age. People are living 20-40 years longer than they expected, and society has not prepared to deal with this extended life. Not only are their financial pressures,boredom loneliness, illness, death and other challenges but retirement itself produces profound changes in an individual's self perceptions that affect his/her relationships with others expecially the spouse.

James I. Ausman, MD, PhD
Executive Producer
"The Leading Gen"- "What will you do with the rest of your life?"
Public Television Series, Fall 2009
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