The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion [Paperback]

Gina Ogden (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 15, 2008

Drawing on three decades of experience as a sex therapist and sex researcher, Dr. Gina Ogden shows you how to:

   • Open up to the four energies that spark desire
   • Create heart-to-heart communication with your partner
   • Transcend guilt, shame, and "good-girls-don't" messages
   • Help heal the sexual wounds of abuse, addiction, affairs, and low self-esteem
   • Enjoy sexual pleasure throughout your life span—from new love, to parenthood, and into your golden years

Editorial Reviews

Review

“This book is the prescription women need to finally come home to themselves and to the vital life force that is their sexual desire.”—Christiane Northrup, MD

“To read this book is to bask in the radiance of the wisest of sexual guides. Ogden gently and lovingly takes readers on a magnificent journey."—Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First and Passionista

“Gina Ogden probes the intricacies of female sexuality with subtle depth and understanding. I plan to recommend this book to any woman on her path to finding greater sexual self discovery and self acceptance, and ultimately ecstasy.”—Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

“Engaging, accessible, well-researched, and full of wonderful anecdotes from women across the life span. A delightful invitation for all readers to explore the full range of our own desires.”—Judy Norsigian and Lynn Rosenbaum, for Our Bodies Ourselves

“Gina Ogden listens to women.  Her book lifts the language of desire from competition and dysfunction to caring, empathy, and a powerful new consciousness that expands our lives and our partnerships.”—Riane Eisler, author of The Chalice and the Blade and The Real Wealth of Nations

“Ogden, a seasoned therapist, shares her considerable wisdom about rekindling sexual passion. No quick fixes promised but a thoughtful recognition and celebration of the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual dimensions of our sexuality.”—Sandra R. Leiblum, PhD, author of Getting the Sex You Want

About the Author

Gina Ogden, PhD, has had a distinguished career as a marriage and family therapist, sex therapist, teacher, researcher, and author. She is the author of several books, including Women Who Love Sex and The Heart and Soul of Sex, and has been a featured guest on numerous radio and television programs including Oprah. She lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Trumpeter; 1 edition (July 15, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1590303644
• ISBN-13: 978-1590303641
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #48,022 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

The most common question I hear from my sex therapy clients is: "Isn't there supposed to be something more?" What they mean is that they deeply desire more than just "thank-you-ma'am" sex that's driven by goals and performance. They are searching for sexual experiences that connect body, mind, heart, and spirit--that can transform their lives, at any age, even if they have a history of sexual disappointment or even abuse.

Helping these women connect deeply with themselves and their partners is what motivates me to conduct retreats, workshops, and teleseminars all over the world--and to write books where women (and men, too) can feel heard and understood--and discover new ways to reach for what they really want instead of just doing what they think will please others. See more details on www.GinaOgden.com. Please write to me and tell me what you think.

NEXT TELESEMINAR: The Return of Desire -- Getting the Sex You Want: A Teleseminar for Health Professionals, Part 4 - March -April 2010 - Get more info at http://ginaogden.com/media/Teleseminar_Ogden-Nelson_Spring2010.pdf

I come to my present work though more than three decades as a sex therapist and through responses from almost 4,000 women and men who answered my nationwide survey: "Integrating Sexuality and Spirituality" (ISIS). I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, a board-certified sex-therapy diplomate, a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the International Society for the Study Women's Sexual Health, and the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. I am also an associate professor of sexology at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, and the continuing education editor of Contemporary Sexuality, the journal of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. I've been a consultant for Our Bodies, Ourselves and for the U.S. Surgeon General's 2001 "Call to Action for Healthy Sexual Behavior." I've written for magazines such as Parade, Ms., Networker, Ladies Home Journal, Fitness, New Woman, and New Age and I've been on the media from talk radio to Oprah. I've also published research in numerous academic books and journals. A peer-reviewed paper on the ISIS survey, "Sexuality and Spirituality in Women's Relationships," was published by the Wellesley Centers for Research on Women (www.wcwonline.org.). I live in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Below, I've listed some questions to consider when you read any of my books--"WOMEN WHO LOVE SEX," THE HEART AND SOUL OF SEX," and "THE RETURN OF DESIRE" Each book is different, but they all address these questions from different perspectives.

What do you think when you hear the title "the return of desire?"

--does that mean we've all lost it?

--is it true that we all lose desire as we grow older?

--can't we just rely on pharmaceutical prescriptions to bring back desire?

--are there other ways to bring desire back?

For you, what is "the heart and soul of sex?"

Is it true that women are less interested in sex than men?

Does the title "Women Who Love Sex" mean to you that these women are:

--bad girls?

--sluts and bimbos?

--women who love sex "too much?"

--high achievers?

--women with complex histories and desires, like most women in the world?

What happens to sexual desire after childbirth?

How may affairs affect your sexual desire?

Is desire different for heterosexual couples than for gay and lesbian couples?

What do you feel about solo sex--or "menage a moi"--?

What are some of the sexual messages we grow up with in this culture--how do you think they affect your sexual desire as adults?

How have violence and abuse affected your sexual desire?

How can emotional connection help sexual relationships?

What is sacred sexual union--and how can you create it?

What are the first steps you can take toward lasting sexual satisfaction?

How are sexuality and spirituality connected for you?

What are the differences between religion and spirituality--and why is it important to understand them?

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars At Last, a Big Picture Perspective!, July 15, 2008

By 

Holly E. Rawson "ecstatic marriage" (Storrs, CT USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion (Paperback)

I loved this book. It is a gift to all of us through this time of cultural confusion regarding the nature of our sexuality. In "The Return of Desire", Gina Ogden offers a new vision for relaxing into and truly embracing our sexual selves. And it's about time!

The Sexual Revolution of the `60s at least opened the door to talking about sex, but for many, that dialogue has been fraught with feelings of frustration and inadequacy. So-called "sex education", though obviously an improvement over nothing even in these "abstinence only" times, fails to address the complexities of our sexual selves, usually focusing simply on the anatomical and "how not to get pregnant or STDs" aspects.

In "The Return of Desire", Gina offers us a model of human sexuality that addresses the myriad aspects of our complex human selves. We are more than simply physical creatures. We are also mental, emotional, and spiritual beings, and each of these vital areas of human experience are in need of honoring and support. Gina beautifully articulates these complexities of being sexually human, and invites us to dare to link spirituality and sexuality as inherently connected. As she describes, in her no-nonsense style, the hows and whys we think, feel and act as we do in sexual expression, she also offers excellent tools for practice in building a more liberated experience of our sexual selves. By liberated, I mean truly free to embody our hearts' desires in genuine connection with the mystery of life, free of the blocks we may hold in our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual selves. Hurray!

In her earlier book, "The Heart and Soul of Sex", Gina introduces us to ISIS, her multi-faceted model of human sexuality based upon her extensive research and survey findings. In "The Return of Desire", Gina has distilled this information into practical tools with which you can experiment and explore on your own or with a partner. She offers her wealth of experience in guiding us through specific exercises and processes with which to build our awareness and expand how we hold our sexuality in all these major aspects. In the spirit of the feminine, she generously shares resources and references to people, books, DVDs and websites with which you may want to explore further. Women, in particular, will delight in "The Return of Desire" as an empowering voice validating intuitive understandings of the deeper nature of our sexuality and its role in our spiritual evolution. This book is a definite on my resource list for the women and couples I work with in my counseling practice.

Holly Rawson, LPC

32 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not Your Average Sex Book, July 15, 2008

By 

Maril Crabtree "LifeLover" (Kansas City) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion (Paperback)

And in Gina Ogden's expert opinion, there is no such thing as "the average woman." Each of us is unique, responding to desire and passion in unique ways. The beauty of this book is that it encompasses the "many faces of sexual desire" which include "attraction, passion, love, energy, libido, and randy, all-consuming lust." There's no "one size fits all" and Gina gives many examples so that we can identify ourselves -- sometimes in surprising new ways.
The voice of this book is gentle and intimate, yet lively and practical. For the visual reader, there are some charts and graphs, but nothing to drive away those of us who are science phobes. Best of all, it is the voice of vast experience, helping us navigate contemporary cultural and spiritual mores with wisdom and truth.

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars From a man's point of view, July 18, 2008

By 

Thomas Heartfield "Divine Feminine Awakened M... (Maui, Hawaii) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion (Paperback)

Thank you Gina for opening my eyes even more to the nuances of sexual experience a woman can have. I love seeing a positive, affirmative understanding of this most misunderstood topic. Your humor, wit and depth and the stories themselves will bring healing and illumination to many people--men as well as women!
Tomas Heartfield,