Customer Reviews

Revelation X : The 'Bob'Apocryphon : Hidden Teachings and Deuterocanonical Texts of J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs

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Bob has kept the secret well hidden, however there are those of us who have come to figure it out for ourselves. Prior to the New Testament, the Koran, the Book of Ulvolva (ancient text of Atlantis), the Book of Zen, the Zoroastrian Scripture, the Talba, the Tonka, the Willy Wonka, and the Sears Roebuck catalog-- we have, written in the time of Ancient Maldaistheregasinthecar (formerly Rowwanda East of Gucci), a holy text. If you have mastered the Tao of Jeet Condo, then perhaps you are ready for the Apocryphon.

Bob has encrypted the actual `date of text.' In fact, within the Apocryphon are the architectural plans to the Ark of Noah, the Leaning Tower of Pizza (hold the anchovies), the Great Wall of China, the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, and the electrical schematics for the Univac, the Cadillac, and the Rayovac--- all encrypted. Not to mention a fascinating `Table of Elements' containing over 92 undiscovered elements and a killer Betty Cronkyte chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Bob knows, and perhaps with some basic instruction and years of grueling practice, you too could know. Keep in mind that the Apocryphon doubles as both a CPRRPMWPM and an MFCCOICSOIC manual. Having the knowledge, as Bob warns, is half the battle. Knowing just what to do with having the knowing of every aspect of everything and everything in-between everything in and of itself is besides the point. However, despite these dichotomic delemmic conundrums one must insist the practice itself is beyond the ability of even the most skilled novice. Therefore Bob suggests that perhaps the reading of the Apocryphon backward could produce more or less understanding of the meaninglessness of the attempt not to do so.

Using the Apocryphon I have gained enlightenment and understand that, had I not pursued these truths, I would have undoubtedly overcome. Thank you Bob for being there, even when I did not need you, and thank you also for your wisdom and arrogance.

that I had to buy THREE copies of the first book, because it would 'disappear' when I lent it to friends. I certainly wore out the binding of each copy myself, because it was one of the funniest books I'd ever read hands down. Naturally, when the sequel, "Revelation X" hit the shelves, I needed to have it, even though I knew I'd already given enough money to these raving hucksters(I mean, I loved the Church-bought the mebership and all). While not as side splittingly funny as the first one, this is still light years ahead of any other humor books. Each SubGenius book is literally crammed with things to read and look at, artwork and rants and gag philosophy from embittered nerds all over the world apparently, all about the mythical figure of Bob Dobbs and his plan to save us from the maw of the Conspiracy that is perpetuated by so-called normal people to destroy noncomformity. Obviously, if you are the shy, intellectual type with a truckload of inner rage and a brain that no one appreciates or understands, then this is your bible. Women Subgenii take note: there's a chapter devoted just to you. Enjoy one of the last decades' coolest in-jokes.

If the Book of The Subgenius left your brain nearly distroyed. The sequal will finish the job!

If only Saddam had read this book! If he did, then the Iraqi's would be patrolling New York City right now!

"Bob" gives Jesus a wedgie!

"Bob" give Mohommad a "wet willie!"

"Bob" is the punch line to a joke that was never spoken.

"Bob" is the whoppie cushion at the Black Tie Dinner of reality!

"Bob" is the pie! "Bob" is the arm of Moe! "Bob" is the pie fight at the end of the Three Stooges Episode!

The end times are a'near! Get right with "Bob" now!

I bought this one too, now I'm even crazier!
Thanks again, "Bob"!

Getting this book will be the difference in eternal salvation or going to work tomorrow. Get it now, before it's too late. This is your last warning, we're watching you.

"Something for NOTHING It Can All Be Yours Everything You Know Is TRUE "Bob IS THE PROOF" (Page ii) Throughout Revelation X I came across statements which at first glance might seem silly or nonsensical, and yet upon further inspection came across as bearing a kernal of truth. As for the quote above, in the context of the two nearby pictures of brains, one labeled "before" and healthy, and a second labeled "after" where the cerebral cortex has shrunk and become disfigured, it is a damning critique of the cult follower mentality, whereby one is crippled by the presumption of obtained truth, rather than continually searching for more truth. The "Bob is Proof" refers to the circular reasoning integral in the matinence of this veneer of possessing truth, observable in the fundamentalist who quotes his scriptures to say that his God exists because God revealed the scripture saying that he exists. Revelation X has the distinguishing feature of being hilarious while at the same time incisive, in fact, in some places brilliant when it comes to analyzing religion (especially Scientology) and popular culture, such that I am left wondering where to begin. One section I loved had to do with the nature of Revelation X and the Church: "The Church of Subgenius: Salvation, or Salivation? A joke disguised as a religion? Or an actual, secretive religion, disguised as a joke disguised as a religion? Or, an incredibly complex joke, disguised as an extremely ambiguous religion, disguised as a joke disguised as a religion? Just another excuse for obnoxious jerks, or the last bastion of human dignity? " (xiv) It goes on to ask the same questions of other religions: "Drugged by childish superstitions and fairy tales, they don't realize that they are enslaved by shadows on the cave walls. We were the ones who MADE those shadows in the first place, but try telling them that! Now they want to subject us to the mass hallucinations we first set in motion!" (xiv) By alluding to Plato's "Allegory of the Cave," it reminds me of the circumstances chaining people to the conclusions they were to make about their place in the universe in past historical epochs. It does seem like a joke to think that people would engage in human sacrifice to make sure that "the sun wouldn't burn out"...when we obviously see that the sun, controlled by the natural process of fusion, isn't going to burn out if we don't rip a few hearts out, that Allah/Yahweh isn't going to send fire and brimstone on us if we view gays and lesbians as fellow human beings. Well, some of us, that is. But hey, no prob according to "Bob"- "Think Stupidly. Act Globally." (3) Another insight I derived from Revelation X was a further understanding of the noncognitivist position, namely, that God does exist is not a statement or proposition that can be said to be true or false in the same way that "That chair is grey" can be said to be true or false. While I don't think that Revelation X is explicitly advocating that position, it uses language in such a way as to expose the gibberish that can surround any "statement" dealing with God, or the ethereal "holiness" or "grace" refered to as "slack." To name but a few: "God is everywhere...but "Bob" has already been...everywhere else...."'Bob' is the rabbit, and he is the magic hat, and he is the trapdoor on the tabletop....'Bob' is the Daisy Air Rifle, he is the 'B-B,' and he is the eyepatch on your little brother....'Bob' is the gas and he is the engine. And he is the oncoming out-of-control Mack truck on the wrong side of the road with the driver asleep at the wheel, and he is the pill which that driver took. AND 'BOB"S' YOUR UNCLE!" (4)[God is omnipresent. This bread and wine are the body of God. And God's your Father!- Ill-defined relationship between God and the universe?] "Dobbs ["Bob"] exists in the eye of an acausal "hurricane," a quantum storm generating enough Slackforce to coerce the odds and variances, the very physical laws of our Universe, into giving him exactly what he wants and needs from moment to moment. Dobbs never has to compromise his desires in any way; instead, the Universe must rearrange itself, and somtimes perform remarkable feats of acausality, in order to accommodate Dobbs." (5) [Cf. Aquinas, Unmoved Mover, etc.] I guess I do know how to end, however, as I feel I would otherwise quote the whole book. In the first chapter, it brings up the question of how much sense it makes for someone to say that God is loving, or angry, or has "concern" for the welfare of human beings: "Human anguish is a very high-priced drug among the Elder Gods. They will pay top dollar for the right quality of bottled torment, accumulated over a lifetime and pent up in the soul. They 'inject' that poisoned soul in highly concentrated doses, causing spasms of indescribable alien ecstasy...." (12) What would cause divine pleasure- and how do we know it would be human salvation?

Well, maybe not. But its pretty damn good! This fantastic update to SubGenius dogma offers twice the stunning graphics, revelations, and insight of The Book of the SubGenius, without running over the same tracks. "Bob" will instruct you how to think for yourself!

Perhaps YOU missed X-Day? Do you want to know what X-Day is? Would you like to have the
Slack Fist Of Retrieval greet you each morning? You need to read this book. Will all be explained? Perhaps....

This book is the worthy successor to the completely amazing "book of the subgenius." The wisdom of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is shoe-horned into your brain pan in a clearer and even more compelling manner. No only that, but the artwork is incredible - much better than the first book.

Buy a copy for children to use as a coloring book. Buy them as presents for people you want to believe you're a dangerous lunatic. Show your brain you really care about it. Feed it. Nurture it. BUY THIS BOOK AND LEARN IT OFF BY HEART NOW!!! It will do things to you that "Dianetics" never dreamed of

Come X-Day you'll feel like an idiot if you don't take this one aboard the flying saucers with you. You have been warned.

Too late! But just to humour you... The Wisdom and Guidance of "Bob" dwarfs that of the Dalai Lama, the Oracle of Delphi, even Alex Trebek... so they had to fit it into TWO average sized texts. "The World's 1st Industrial Religion" is a following for those who follow no one (see?), a raging satire of cults in general. If your library includes such texts as Principia Discordia & Illuminatus!, the SubGenius texts would be perfect additions... but don't pretend to understand it. Only through "Bob" can one attain SLACK!